My embarrassing hobby is covering the fifth letter of the alphabet in a thin layer of gold …

It's a gilt-E pleasure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Negative12DollarBill
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2021
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Despite what you'd think, witches really like to shop at Hobby Lobby.

Because they are crafty.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TimeWaitsFNM
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2021
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my wife said I had to choose between my two expensive hobbies: gardening, or audiophile

I agonized over the choice before realizing it was quite simple.

but of course, bose before hose!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2021
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My wife has been cold to me lately, so I figured a hobby might make her more receptive to my advances. I figured why not stamp collecting? Well, I learned an important lesson...

Philately will get you nowhere

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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My wife told me that my botanical garden was so expensive that it was preventing us from starting a family. She said I can either have a hobby...

Orchid

πŸ‘οΈŽ 166
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HoobidyMcBoobidy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2021
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I've taken up a new hobby. Shooting arrows at paintings.

Who knew artery could be so relaxing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lecraic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2021
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What is the Doom Slayer’s favorite hobby?

He likes to raze hell

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Runeald_Waslib
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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My favorite hobby as a kid was building sandcastles with my grandpa

...until my mom hid the urn from me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 78
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
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Hobby club couldn’t agree on this week’s craft.

Some selfishly thought minecraft was better than yarncraft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VeryOriginalName98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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Why didn't the mummy have any hobbies?

He was too wrapped up in his work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MySonAteMyHomework
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2020
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A buddy of mine has a new hobby where he dresses up salmon in tiny outfits and takes pictures of them.

He says its like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mchead22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2020
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My girlfriend asked me what my favorite extreme hobby was, I replied camping...

...Because it’s in tents.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chicoquadcore
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2020
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Collecting Impressionist art is a pricey hobby.

It requires a lot of monet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2020
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Why do you need to be so careful if you're learning about hot air ballooning as a hobby?

It's easy to get carried away.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aelbaum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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During this quarantine, many people have gotten new hobbies to pass the hours.

These are trying times.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dr_Calcium
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2020
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I've had to give up my clock-eating hobby

It's too time consuming.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/22mikey1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2020
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My Dad grows herbs as a hobby.

He has way too much Thyme on his hands.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Oheligud
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2020
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I found a specific hobby of adding alliteration to German philosophers’ names

Glad I found my Nietzsche niche

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Plumsby
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
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My wife says I need a hobby.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 255
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mark503
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2019
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One of my friends recently told me he’s bored and looking for a fun new hobby. I suggested getting involved in political protesting.

It really is a riot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cashmag3001
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2020
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Bored? Need a new hobby?

Try blindfold archery.

You don't know what you're missing!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2019
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Wife: You got thrown out of hobby lobby for sticking your testicles in the glitter?

Yeah, I know. Pretty nuts?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/buddhaplayshockey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2020
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Have you seen how excited Alaskans get about their hobbies?

They get very Inuit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArmlessGuy12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2020
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Would a Speed Dating event at Hobby Lobby be called...

Craft Singles?

My daughter said the joke was cheesy and not very Gouda. :(

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Guycelium
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2020
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I took up lockpicking as a hobby.

It's opened so many doors for me!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2020
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What is the most popular porcupine hobby?

Quill-ting

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2020
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My friend has been learning magic as a quarantine hobby. I present to you: my oc list of magician jokes and puns I invented to annoy him.

Did you hear about the magician who grabbed Eminem so hard his SnapBack fell off?

He pulled a rabbit out of his hat

What do you call a magician who is an administrator at a college, but nobody knows what students he is in charge of?

Whose dean’s he?

A magician went out to the store and bought a big metal structure so he could hang upside down and do situps. He also loved painting, but because of his style he often knocked the canvas around while dabbing on the paint. So he bought another, wooden structure, like an easel, but with clamps to hold the painting in place while he prodded it with the paintbrush. His wife asked, as he brought them in, what the hell he had just bought. He replied:

β€œAb rack and dab rack”

What do you call a magician with very skinny fingers?

Slight of hand

The magician’s wife brought him to the store to buy gifts for a birthday party. She picked out a lovely candle, but wanted to include a nice note. The magician knew just what to do. He brought her down an aisle, found a section marked β€œbirthday,” and said:

β€œPick a card, any card”

The Russian magician, in 1932, found an amazing new piece for his act: a giant, wooden sarcophagus in the shape of a beautiful woman. The piece had giant, metal blades inside at waist level. They were locked in place while it was open, but retracted as it closed, making it seem as though the magician had escaped death. But one day, while he was practicing, the great sarcophagus fell over - door still open - right on the magician. When he was found, he was cut right in two. Moral of the story:

In Soviet Russia, box woman saws you.

Okay that’s it. I’m so sorry, I have nothing better to do.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nsk09003
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2020
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Being cooped up in the house for so long has led me to attempt new hobbies. As an example, I'm currently studying how to adapt French phrases to describe the situation.

You could say it's my maison d'Γͺtre.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/this_time_i_mean_it
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2020
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As a hobby, my dad keeps stabbing clocks with his knife.

He says it's a fun way to kill time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 120
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HypotheticalRealist
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2019
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I haven't had much luck dating recently so I decided to start a new hobby; painting money I get from the bank.

I'm going to dye a loan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrChimp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2019
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My childhood hobby (birdwatching) always got me in trouble.

I wasn’t supposed to use fowl language.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jerodsanto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2019
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I have a new hobby: studying flying saucers

...and making the matching teacups!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2019
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I was bored and looking for a hobby, so I picked up fencing.

The neighbours said that they will call the cops if I don’t put it back.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2019
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If you take up drawing as a mid-life hobby, but you just can't get past tracing...

You may be having an exit-stencil crisis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a porcupines favorite hobby?

Quilting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/axionj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2019
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My mate has invented a new hobby, 'blindfolded plane watching'...

Can't see it taking off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nibble_My_Nabla
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2019
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I'm considering marrying a high earning ceo who doesn't want children, but I'm sad about the prospect of giving up my scuba diving hobby.

It's illegal to DINK and dive.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2019
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My hobby is catching flies.

When I am bored, it helps the time fly by.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KingofYears
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2019
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I was feeling really bored recently, so I decided to take up fencing as a hobby.

My neighbors are threatening to call the cops if I don’t stop.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2019
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If you're paid to code, you're a programmer. But if it's just a hobby...

... are you just a grammer?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jackattack99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine texted me that his new hobby is taking pictures of fish in clothes

He likes to call it "shooting fish in apparel"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/glennwolf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2019
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My favourite hobby is shredding herbs

I have a grate thyme.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Onegodoneloveoneway
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2018
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Whale watching used to be a hobby of mine but I've decided to give it up...

I just can't see the porpoise anymore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gp239598
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2017
🚨︎ report
When do you do your hobbies?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HisMagnificence
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2016
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I used to have a day job as an accountant and do yoga as a hobby.

I had to quit though. It became too much of a balancing act.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/friedchocolate
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Frying magnesium will never catch on as a hobby...

It's just a flash in the pan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2017
🚨︎ report

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