I was sitting at a red light with my family, and I said "Look, son! A super hero!"

It was the Green Arrow!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/caramelcooler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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You know what a fight between Cloud Strife and Hero is Smash is called...

A square off!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheManWithAPlan555
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and youโ€™re a total hero.

But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get involved.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 62
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rocknocker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the opposite of a hero?

A there-o

๐Ÿ‘︎ 112
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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I felt like a hero when I donated that kindey to save a kid's life

Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not

credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ImRoderick1303
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Fallen hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/unoriginalnuttah
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a female hero on drugs?

Heroin.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JohnBillyBob
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A true hero.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 49
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wubbalubbadubdub_2
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Thereโ€™s only one super hero who can get into this frozen dinner

Leave it to Thor

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nymphomanius
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Heโ€™s a hero for our country
๐Ÿ‘︎ 103
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/the-grape-next-door
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did the capeless hero get fired from his job?

He wasn't capable to do it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ATragedyOfSorts
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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We were watching the movie Gladiator and then saw picctures of the hero now...

Now he is a "glad he ate"er..

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mdchris19
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the middle eastern super hero?

They call him Iran Man

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IamREBELoe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Who's the fastest super hero?

Speeder-man

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sulfinn
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He sometimes wishes heโ€™d never been Bourne.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What would a chemist say to a corrupted hero?

You argon far from serving a noble cause

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/1aim1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call an ex-Vice President that plays Guitar Hero?

An Al-Gore-Rhythm

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/killmore22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why isnโ€™t there a super hero that instead of being bitten by a spider and getting a spider sense, gets bitten by lice and get a lice sense to kill?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mlopes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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This kid at the school assembly is my hero

Context: Our school was having a presentation at assembly from Together for Humanity - "a multi-faith not-for-profit organisation that is helping schools, organisations and communities to respond effectively to differences of culture and belief". The presenters were an orthodox Jew, a Muslim, a Christian and an atheist.

When they asked for questions at the end, my new hero asked "Have you ever gone to a bar together?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/D-Nizzle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05 2017
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I work in retail and today a mom asked about โ€œMy Hero Macadamiaโ€

It was nuts!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Philonic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is that super hero who shrinks down to subatomic levels?

Is it... Quark Kent...? Da dum tisssss

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Puni_corn
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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This guy is a hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 66
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hados1109
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Donating a kidney makes you somebody's hero.

Donating 5 makes you a suspect

๐Ÿ‘︎ 66
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
"We don't need a fishy super hero!" The land locked victims exclaimed.

"I sea," said Aquaman

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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The hero we need [OC]
๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Burger_com
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
In college i thought General Calculus was a Roman war hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NameViolation666
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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I heard Netflix is making a live action 'My Hero Acedemia' with Matthew Mcconaughey...

Hes going to star as All Might, All Might, All Might.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/2ndcummingofchrist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Who did the hero fish have to defeat?

Anemone

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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Legend tells of an incredible hero...

Legend tells of an incredible hero: Carto-Man. Half of his body is a regular human, but the other half is made up of a key from a map.

The man, the myth, the legend

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/purevermonter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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What comic book hero loves dad jokes?

The PUNisher

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Our hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Marth_43
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Super Hero Waiter

What did the Super Hero Waiter serve to the Vegan Villain? Just-ice

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NIKBOL42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Skyrim kneads a hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dragkire
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Peter Parker didnโ€™t always want to be a super hero

He originally had dreams of being a web designer

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TimHP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Zero to hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/darkandtwistysissy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear that Nintendo is going to make a Queen-inspired Guitar Hero?

Its going to be called Wii Will Rock You.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dewmangroup
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why was the hero arrested by the police?

He was doing heroine.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mukundan_chariar
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What medal did the weasel war hero receive?

A badger of honor.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jackovias
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CapedBat
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 28 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the super hero with a lisp say after working out?

I'm Thor

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/whiskeyboundcowboy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the hero named Cliff?

He was quite LEDGEndary.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DiligentCube6
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 30 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Our Hero

Our hero is rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

Our hero lives in Marree, South Australia. He hears about a job opportunity in Darwin, so goes to his car to drive the 3,100 ks to Darwin. One problem, his car won't start.

This is no problem for our hero, because he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

He walks to Darwin.

When he gets there, the bosses love him, and offer him the job on the spot.

"One problem," they say "The job is in Cape Town, and all air traffic has been halted because of the cyclones"

No problem for our hero. He's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

Our hero gets on the boat to travel the 11,000 ks to Cape Town.

Not far into the journey, the boat hits a storm and capsizes. No problems for our hero, he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

He starts swimming.

In the open ocean, a container ship spots him, and offers to help.

"One problem," the captain says over the loud speaker, "There's no rope".

No problem for our hero, he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

He scales the side of the ship bare-handed.

A few days later, they're attacked by pirates. One problem, he's unarmed and outnumbered

No problem for our hero as he is rough, he is tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

Our hero valiantly defends himself, gets some weapons, and is defending the bridge from all attackers.

He fights off the captain of the pirates, and deals him a mortal blow. One problem, the captain in his death throws, pushes our hero off the bridge, and he plummets towards the deck.

No problem for our hero as he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PoglaTheGrate
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He wishes he was never Bourne.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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