I walked into a substance abuse clinic for my second meeting yesterday. The doctor knew I had a severe crush on women super heros...today he told me the news.
"Sir I'm afraid it's dire, you need to be checked in immediately for your heroine addiction"
I watched "Wonder Woman" five times in a row
Caeser!
A heroine addict
It's called,Cash in the Addict.
I choked on the handle.
The Crack-en
Needles to say, I'm very disappointed.
In hindsight, the small pupils were a dead giveaway...
A smack-erel
but it was all in vein
It was a poo or die situation.
Guess it was in vein.
Iβm clean now.
But it was all in vein.
A heroin, if you will.
But I am slowly getting over it.
I get cash withdrawals.
But I feel the point would only be in vein.
I guess you can say he's a heroine addict.
Heroin.
Having stomach ache is a shitty feeling
What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!
I heard a scary math joke, but Iβm 2^^2 to tell it!
Have you heard of that new movie, βConstipationβ? Well it doesnβt matter, it never came out.
I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said βNo, doc, itβs dis knee.β
Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.
When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donβt cause reactions, after all.
Whatβs the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!
I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."
Why canβt you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donβt wanna wake the sleeping pills.
What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!
What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!
Help, I canβt stop reading books with female protagonists! Iβm a heroine addict!
How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!
19 and 20 got into a fight⦠21.
My friend told me, βPeople who sell meat are disgusting!β So I said, βYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!β
How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!
What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondβ¦ ionic bond. βTaken, not shared.β What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)
How much does Santaβs sleigh cost? $0, itβs on the house.
If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.
I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.
Iβm going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iβm outstanding.
Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!
What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatβs the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon
Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatβs just a blanket statem
... keep reading on reddit β‘I think he's a heroine addict.
Addictionary.
He was doing heroine.
There are two snakes. The first snake asks the second snake, "Are we poisonous?"
The second snake asks, "Why?"
The first snake answers, "I just bit my lip."
I think he might be a heroine dealer!!..
The casino employee starts handing her cards and says βWell, I guess Iβm a heroine dealer now...β
I'm not sure what he was on but he was hooked on something.
She's a Heroine addicted to Heroin.
Because he was addicted to quack
But it was all in vein.
Iβm a heroine addict.
