Great Dane Puns

I said, "I'm not sure we could handle that. How about we get a Good Dane instead?"

They bjork

I fear I am in Great Dane-ger.

All the great danes I know have 4 paws and a tail

So, as the title says, a new dad moved in next door with his young wife and infant son.

All the houses in the neighborhood are fairly modest and perfect for new families and first time homebuyers, so we get a lot of those.

As they were unloading, I decided to do the neighborly thing and quickly introduce myself without getting too much in their way.

While we were chatting, his wife comes out with the LARGEST great dane I’ve ever seen.

The shock on my face must’ve been obvious because he quickly explained, with a bit of an annoyed tone, “Yea, that’s my wife’s dog. I still have my childhood cat, but now this is my biggest pet, Peeve.”

“Come say hello, Peeve!”

Her: That dog looks like a great dane, only a lot smaller.

Me: So, it's more of an okay dane?

Her: Stop.

Me: Maybe an average dane or maybe even a sub par dane?

Was at the park when I saw an older couple walk by with a great dane. I went over to pet it and told the couple, "You have a beautiful dog!"

The man replied, "Hey now, don't call my wife a dog!"

I started working at a jewelry store two weeks ago. I just turned 24, and one of my new co-workers is about 50 years old and repairs jewelry that customers bring. He is a master of dad jokes.

1. One day, I was windexing our glass displays.

Him: I recently started getting the urge to take my clothes off and run around all over the place. My buddy told me to try drinking Windex. It prevents streaking.

2. Another time, it was almost closing time and we were getting bored.

Him: A man was walking his Great Dane and saw a pub. He said, "I'll go have me a drink or two," and tied the dog up outside.

A little while later another man comes in the pub and says, "Sir, is that your Great Dane out there? My dog just killed it."

"What kind of dog do you have?!"

"Chihuahua."

"You're telling me a chihuahua killed my dog?"

"Yea, he got stuck about right here." grabbing his throat

3. Lastly, we were bored yet again at the end of another day, and he came up to me and another worker and says, "Did one of you lose a big wad of twenty dollar bills wrapped in a rubber band?"

We looked at one another confused. "... No."

"Oh, because I had some good news... I found the rubber band." holding up a runner band

I like my new job.

Me and some co-workers were looking at some Pergo flooring with a picture of a big dog on it. I voiced my opinion that it must be a Great Dane. My friend, who will be a great father one day, said, "Dunno man, it might just be a Good Dane. A Bad Dane even."

Me:"Hey look, a great dane!" Her:"i mean, I guess it's ok" Me:(tongue in cheek)"No, the breed, it's great dane" Her:"Yeah, I mean it's all right *nudge *nudge... Haha, dadjokes "

She's gonna be a great dad.

I have two Great Danes. One is named Oreo and the other is Moose.

Granddad: Does it ever make you uncomfortable eating Danish pastries or Oreo cookies?

It's a Great Dane!