My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall...

But it was his own dumb asphalt...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...

I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.

I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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What did the sand say to the gravel when asked "How are you?"

I am fine.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.

For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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I’m heartbroken that I lost a bucket of sand, silt, and gravel.

It was of great sedimentary value.

πŸ‘︎ 424
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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I was forced to speak in a gravel voice all day

It was pretty rough

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rimtato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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When more & more people say β€œyou’re my rock”....

You start feeling like gravel.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FirBal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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Dad joked my husband

On the night walk with our 2 pups. One is obsessed with toads and every item on the road is suspiciously inspected. Frequently a leaf is sniffed and nosed to encourage a leap. Tonight, a piece of gravel caught her eye with exuberant tailnub wagging! β€œOh pupper that isn’t sedentary; it’s sedimentary.”

Hope you like it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aimlesskeek
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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What's wrong with staying up late to watch Lord of the Rings movies?

It's a bad hobbit.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atommyc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2012
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Waiting outside a restaurant with my dad

Family just finished eating, and my father and I stepped outside. We noticed some ice cream spilled on the rough gravel of the parking lot.

Dad: what flavor does that look like to you?

Me: I don't know. Maybe mint?

Dad: I was thinking rocky road.

πŸ‘︎ 908
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mosk3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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My coworker is redoing her driveway

She was talking about how she needed the measurements of the driveway so that she would know how much gravel she needed.

She turns towards me and asks me in the middle of her ramblings "How many feet are in a yard?"

Without missing a beat I reply "Two if you're standing in it."

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninjap0wz
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2016
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My dad's eyes hurt really bad

He says it feels like he has gravel under his eyes. My stepmom asked if he still had the drops his doctor gave him and he got confused not knowing what she was talking about. She told him: "Go look in your drawers". My dad looked shocked and said with a drawl, "They wouldn't be in my drawers!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C_Eberhard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
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Dadjoked by my neighbor.

I was loading up some gravel into wheel barrows to be dumped in the back yard. My neighbor rolls up in his baby blue Nissan Leaf and gets out. He takes one look at me and says "Your rockin' out."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Essunset
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
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My neighbor blamed my gravel for his fall

But it was his dumb asphalt

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkone2087
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall.

But it was his dumb asphalt

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bakxr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall…

But it was his dumb asphalt…

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
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My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall…

But it was his dumb asphalt…

πŸ‘︎ 551
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
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In his will, my grandfather left me a bucket of sand, silt, and gravel.

It is of great sedimentary value.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall...

But it was his dumb asphalt...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall...

But it was his dumb asphalt...

πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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