My goldfish looked really skinny, so I added some steroids to the aquarium water.
Now things are Hunky Dory.
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Dec 27 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank
One looks at the other and says: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Nov 30 2020
Goldfish are good pets, but...
Siamese fighting fish are Betta!
๐︎ 9
๐
︎ Oct 27 2020
How do you make a goldfish old?
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Oct 13 2020
Paddy bought 2 goldfish
His mate Mick visited him.
Mick: "I see you have 2 new goldfish, what do you call them Paddy?"
Paddy: "I named them ONE and TWO"
Mick: "Those are strange names, why did you call them that??"
Paddy: "Well Mick, if ONE dies, I've still got TWO!"
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Jul 02 2020
*wife drops phone into container with daughterโs goldfish crackers*
Oh no you dropped your phone in the fish bowl now itโs gunna be all wet
๐︎ 6
๐
︎ Apr 27 2020
I wanted to teach my goldfish to jump, so I took it to a lake in the mountains
But it turns out spring water is just false advertisement
๐︎ 18
๐
︎ Dec 29 2019
Whenever I need energy I always go for Goldfish crackers
Theyโre loaded with carpohydrates
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Dec 31 2019
A guy went to a pet shop. โIโd like to buy a goldfish pleaseโ. โCertainly sir. Would you like an aquarium?โ ...
โI donโt care what star sign it isโ The guy replies.
๐︎ 13
๐
︎ Oct 20 2019
My grandson put two Goldfish on a piece of bread...
He showed it to me and said โI made a fish sandwich.โ
The pride was so great, I nearly shed a tear.
๐︎ 2
๐
︎ Nov 08 2019
Two goldfish are in a bowl, one fish turns to the other and say when do you think the food is coming? The other says...
Holy crap! A talking fish!
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ May 13 2019
What do you call two goldfish mating?
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Jul 10 2019
If Goldfish Could Talk
My Goldfish: hi.
Me: weโve met.
Goldfish: we did?
Me: you have a bad memory.
Goldfish: who does?
Me: you do.
Goldfish: I do what?
Me: you have a bad----actually forget it.
Goldfish: ok : )
Me:
Goldfish:
Me:
Goldfish: hi!
๐︎ 8
๐
︎ May 25 2019
Did you know itโs cheaper to just not feed the goldfish ?
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Apr 07 2019
Why are goldfish snacks always smiling?
๐︎ 20
๐
︎ Jan 01 2019
The snack that makes you laugh, goldfish.
๐︎ 13
๐
︎ May 01 2018
Apparently, when hungry, wild goldfish will attack any other sea creature to steal their food, except for large fish with fins.
Because then they'd they'd be jumping the shark.
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Jan 07 2019
Thereโs 2 goldfish in a tank...
One asks the other, you know how to drive this thing?
๐︎ 37
๐
︎ Oct 08 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says
How the heck do we drive this thing?
๐︎ 172
๐
︎ Aug 26 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 116
๐
︎ May 07 2020
Two goldfish are hanging out in a tank
One fish turns to the other and says, 'Any idea on how to drive this thing ?'
๐︎ 25
๐
︎ Jun 20 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, โDo you know how to drive this thing?
๐︎ 25
๐
︎ Jun 03 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank, one of them turns to the other and says
Hey! Whoโs gonna drive this thing?
๐︎ 24
๐
︎ Jun 17 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 29
๐
︎ May 27 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank. One leans over to the other and asks...
โDo you even know how to drive this thing?โ
๐︎ 20
๐
︎ May 18 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other โDo you know how to drive this thing?โ
๐︎ 11
๐
︎ Apr 17 2020
Two Goldfish in a Tank.
One says to the other, โDo you know how to drive this thing?โ
๐︎ 17
๐
︎ May 07 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other:
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 141
๐
︎ Dec 02 2019
Two goldfish are in a tank, one turns and says to the other,
โhow do you drive this thing?โ
๐︎ 204
๐
︎ Jun 05 2019
Two goldfish were in a tank. One turned to the other and said...
"How do you drive this thing?"
๐︎ 10
๐
︎ Nov 03 2019
Two goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other and says...
"Anybody know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 78
๐
︎ May 13 2019
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, โDo you know how to drive this thing?โ
๐︎ 401
๐
︎ Jan 29 2019
What did one goldfish say to the other goldfish in the tank?
"You know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 8
๐
︎ Nov 07 2019
Two goldfish....
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 2
๐
︎ Nov 06 2019
There's two goldfish in a tank
one turns to the other and says
"I have no idea how to drive this thing"
๐︎ 16
๐
︎ Apr 08 2019
Two goldfish were in a tank
One of them asks: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 12
๐
︎ Mar 05 2019
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 12
๐
︎ May 23 2019
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other,
โdo you know how to drive this thing?โ
๐︎ 11
๐
︎ Jan 06 2019
Two goldfish are in their tank
One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns, I'll drive"
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ May 10 2019
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other: โDo you know how to drive this thing?โ
๐︎ 14
๐
︎ Jan 01 2019
Two goldfish in a tank.
One turns to the other and says, how do you drive this thing?
๐︎ 41
๐
︎ Aug 11 2018
Two goldfish are in a tank...
One says to the other, โDo you know how to drive this thingโ
๐︎ 14
๐
︎ Feb 10 2019
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other? : "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Feb 11 2019
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One turns to the other and says, โDo you know how to drive this thing?โ
๐︎ 11
๐
︎ Dec 30 2018
Two goldfish are in a tank...
One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
๐︎ 67
๐
︎ Feb 13 2018
Two goldfish were in a tank...
...and one asked the other: "How do you drive this thing?"
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Feb 07 2019
Two goldfish are in a tank
One says to the other: โDo you know how to drive this thing?โ
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Jan 02 2019
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