Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.

Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Why do we have Global Warming?

Because the Cold War has ended.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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We should have a global storage system for crops...

Some people just want to watch the World Barn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamiker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Global Warming?

What a load of rubbish...

Credits: u/expectdaworst

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jjajangbokki
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism?

The ISIS melting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Global warming will kill every single person on this planet,

It's a good thing I'm married...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanner_Banner
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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Why are ants immune during this global pandemic?

Because they have little antibodies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shellsh0ckevincar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Thank god Canada’s not the global super power

Or we'd all be sorry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/llMude13ll
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Turns out that the coronavirus is set to cost the world 2.5% of the global GDP if it continues at the rate it's going.

It's very influenzial on the worldwide market.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFillywonk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Why don’t people take action against global warming?

Some people just want to watch the world burn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punk_loki
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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Why is global warming noice?

Because there'll be no ice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qe37qulu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.

It's an new Al-Gore-rithm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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I get very heated when debating global warming with deniers.

Some might say I need to cool it down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChummusJunky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Global Warming! - Too Hot for TV!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nimja_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
WHO says the global risk of Coronavirus is 'moderate'

The World Health Organization

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hbacorn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Global Warming pun spotted on r/memes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tskcool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Global warming is hot now, right?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themoltend
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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I was at a debate for global warming the other day,

Boy did things heat up in there.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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If the Democrats really believe global warming is a problem,

then why are they so obsessed with ABOLISHING ICE?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pixeladrift
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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Guys... Global warming is real

It is winter and we have had the hottest day of the year already!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BatMunki
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
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A recent study shows that global warming reduces terrorism.

Because the Isis melting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SavageMonkey44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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I just realized that I DO contribute to global warming.

Every time somebody sighs at my dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bparx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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Do you know why the computer programmer is to blame for Global Warming?

He didn't follow the Al Gore rhythm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Bridgeburner
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2016
🚨︎ report
What will happen to the capital of Finland if global warming doesn't stop soon?

He'llSinki

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MitchInFridge
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Plants reaction to the global warming caused by humans

Leaf us alone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What musical formula was used to describe global warming in the '90s?

An Al-Gore-Rhythm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperbLuigi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2017
🚨︎ report
I found a global group for people named Paige.

There are around 100 Paige's in my local chapter.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can't Trump simply build a wall against global warming?

Because it'd just climate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WebbyUrchin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2017
🚨︎ report
I flew home for Christmas and decided to bring back a global domination-themed board game. I recognize that it could have been dangerous to bring that game on the plane...

But it was a Risk I was willing to take.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tasty_rogue
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
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What do you call it when ISIS caused global panic?

A Cr-ISIS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siddis76
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Global warming doesn't worry me

It's global cooling that gives me shivers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingkwassa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
🚨︎ report
People from the Netherlands smoke weed because a large part of their country is underneath the sea level. They are only trying to get "high" so that they can escape the effects of global warming.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gandurk
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Global warming is causing the colors at rodeos to fade and get lighter

They are calling it Corral Bleaching.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teslarobot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
🚨︎ report
My class had a debate about global warming today...

It got pretty heated.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Double dad joke in Global class

I was teaching a review lesson on the Aztecs to my 9th grade global students. We were covering chinampas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinampa) and I decided to lighten the mood by saying "considering the technology they had at the time, chinampas are pretty a-maize-ing. Sorry that was a corny joke." Didn't get a single laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charty37
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2014
🚨︎ report

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