Discus
"Turn off the damn fans, I'm trying to fish over here and you are creating too much wind"...
groans ensue.....
They have "hi" beams!
Characters: My wife, my son (four years old), and my daughter (his twin, so obviously also four).
Son: "My classmate didn't like me laughing at her today."
Wife: "Why were you laughing at her?"
Son: "I'm a vampire! Bwa ha ha ha ha!"
Wife: "OH! Like an evil laugh?"
Son: "Yeah! Bwa ha ha ha ha!"
Daughter: "I'm a witch! Hee hee hee hee!"
Wife: "So you're both monsters?"
Son: "Yep!"
Daughter: "Hee hee hee hee!"
Wife: "Am I a monster too?"
Son: "Yeah! You're a ... " <dramatic pause> " ... mummy."
Whole family in hysterical laughter, and after it dies down he goes, "Get it!? Mummy!"
I've never been so proud. A spontaneously generated pun of that caliber at four years old, AND an unnecessary clarification/repetition of the joke? I've got high hopes for this one.
Gen-A
I got a text from my mobile provider saying I’d exceeded my monthly Data allowance.
... its not going to happen overnight!
If you have wine from that time is it genuine?
Quaranteens.
Sir: “Like winning an argument with my wife”.
Waiter “Rare it is!”.
I don’t know if I am allowed to post this but I just made a dad joke generator. Hope you guys like it. If I am breaking the rule, please let me know I don’t mind withdrawing the post. Here’s the link:
https://kiranojhanp.github.io/random-joke-generator/
This is not a traditional /r/dadjokes with a delivery and a punchline.
I just wanted all dad's, with kids around 2-6, to know that changing the name of Winnie the Pooh to Winnie the Poop will generate maniacal laughter from your kids. Especially if you combine it with singing the theme song from the movie.
As an added bonus, there is no statute of limitations on when you add the extra P. You can say: Winnie the Poop Winnie the Pooh...P Or Winnie the Pooh...... ...... .... P And your kids will laugh just as hard.
I've gone a full minute without saying the last P, while my kids hang on my every facial movement.
Enjoy
She's my trans sister
It's a waist product.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
They walked. Uphill. In the snow. They ate what brains they could find and they liked it.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
The Quaranteens
They didn't do anything, to deserve that
Children of the quarn.
It’s helicopt-air
...worth it
I say if it ain’t baroque, don’t fix it.
It's called Ctrl-ALT-YEET.
Children of the "Quarn"
Edit: at the age of 13, we shall bestow upon them the rank of "Quaran-teen"
I’m a huge fan of your work.
http://imgur.com/gallery/3GUE8
This was a group text from me to both of the kids. The younger was born exactly nine months from the Tuesday in question. The older one responded with a thumbs down.
Some cool and PUnny PUns
These days, people will click on anything even if it's nothing more then a catchy title
It was Heirloumi.
Genitalia.
Their children will die on this hill
It's a family hair-loom.
Gen A
Gen A.
Edit: thank you for the award!
