Insults beget puns

I'm not sure if this counts as petty revenge, or a dad joke, but here we go.

I was at a friends house the other day, playing games or something, and she made a joke, I laughed, it was a good joke, but it was TOO good. -I'm- the funny one in the group.

So I started leaving 2 pound weights at her place, without letting her know. After about a month of this, she finally gets that something's up. She confronts me about it and I say "So you're telling me that you've...been gaining weights?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chuck_Finley1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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Manipulation begets manipulation. Wut doin SEC?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Someguynamedkylef
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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B.S. begets b.s. Let em have it!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legosgrrl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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shenanigans beget shenanigans
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpoopyPerson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2021
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power begets parasites, long live anarchy v.redd.it/gy8i9ody7z181
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ziraic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2021
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A picture of Tim & Gregg on the set of Rick Alverson's The Comedy (2012). During their free time on set, they began kicking around the idea of starting a "movie review" podcast. I've often thought that it's actually all thanks to Rick Alverson that On Cinema exists. How art begets art.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Accurate_Toe_4461
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
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But it is not suitable for (the Majesty of) the Most Beneficent (Allah) that He should beget a son (or offspring or children) (Maryam 92) v.redd.it/yrr38yo5o1c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/umaradil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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Assimilation will never beget liberation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChillaVen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2021
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tried to argue why Pak muslims want infinite war with Israel, cuz violence begets violence. But nope lol

https://preview.redd.it/14ggk9aehx581.png?width=747&format=png&auto=webp&s=a295e20f19fe497d1c6e87c8c1a4bcc3f37c8b7d

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ozmourne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2021
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Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2021
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The cycle begins anew. As violence begets violence so do Scout shenanigans beget getting C4'd by weary Drillers. v.redd.it/8lj3w745nac81
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Sleep Begets Sleep

I constantly see "sleep begets sleep" thrown around in mom groups and I'm wondering if this is actually research based. Anyone have an article on it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/giraffegarage90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2021
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But it is not suitable for (the Majesty of) the Most Beneficent (Allah) that He should beget a son (or offspring or children) (Maryam 92) v.redd.it/t87ertb1p1c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/umaradil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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Ignorance more frequently begets confidence
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stevesmithschode
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
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Barbaric beliefs beget barbaric practices hrw.org/news/2021/12/20/s…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loose_Vagina90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2021
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[OC] Tough paranormal entities beget tough shopping lists.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelanieMather
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2021
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Pleb begets pleb. reddit.com/gallery/rh8qxv
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarBoom72
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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TIFU - Driving Efficiency begets road rage, begets driving inefficiency

TLDR: Inadvertent pissing match generates out-of-proportion road rage. Exclusively karmic damage ensues.

Throwaway because I know many of you will consider me TA, and just in case Dale reads this forum.

Backstory: I try to keep driving interesting by looking for efficiencies where I can find them, and taking advantage as best I can. My record shows that I am a safe driver in terms of one ticket and zero accidents in roughly 20 years. I also do my best to be courteous, waving people in, taking turns appropriately at the merge, never tailgating, etc.

If I am driving locally, and I am aware of traffic flows enough to know where there will be a gap, I will very often go into the empty lane and fill that gap at the appropriate time, no harm no foul, nobody even needs to tap their brakes. I'm also that guy who has followed the reddit wisdom concerning highway zipper merges (go as far as you can in the empty lane, take turns merging ), to the chagrin of those who don't.

Story: I'm on my way to the poker room to play my favorite game, which only happens twice a week, and if you time it wrong, there is no seat available. Heading to the highway where I live, there are two lanes in each direction, but parking is legal in the right lane, so it's more like 1.25 lanes in each direction. There is a traffic light with two stopped cars in the free lane, zero cars waiting in the quarter lane. I am rolling with inertia on my side as the light turns green, and I've got maybe 1/4 mile to zip past them and merge before the first parked car, or I can take a full stop and not ruffle any feathers. If I had done the latter, no story.

So, I'm zipping past the first car, and about to zip past a very large pickup truck, when I notice the pickup seems to be taking it personally and is speeding up to thwart me. My options are to speed up, or slam on the brakes and let both cars pass. If I had done the latter, no story.

After passing the hemi-equipped pickup with my trashy looking minivan (with an unexpected V6), the driver (Dale) is clearly enraged and is doing his best to freak me out by crowding me at the next stop light. We have a complicated merge onto a six lane highway, and Dale violates the law to get past me at the merge and puts himself in a not-very clear lane of traffic. I signal, merge legally, and make my way courteously over to the empty lanes, as I know the roads well and I am now going 10 mph faster than Dale. You would think the story ends here,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MovieSubject7160
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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But it is not suitable for (the Majesty of) the Most Beneficent (Allah) that He should beget a son (or offspring or children) (Maryam 92) v.redd.it/8rxzkybmo1c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/umaradil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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Project/Issue begets projects reddit.com/gallery/s37aam
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joemarinedotcom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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violence begets violene v.redd.it/94rsqjeda6981
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suspect_designer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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violence begets violence v.redd.it/u7onx6qy76981
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suspect_designer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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Money begets money.

A while ago i've cosplayed my Titan as a Grineer soldier from Warframe. Corpus crewman was he next logical step. Imo, it's still not entirely on-point, but i did my best. XD

Next project could be either Tenno or Ostron themed. Sentients i'll have to skip, there's really nothing even remotely close to that style, that i have access to, at least.

https://preview.redd.it/0v2243mbz0c81.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=085615b0ce2ecfdf5d60bc8bd18b431dfd5f68c4

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgudveseli
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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But it is not suitable for (the Majesty of) the Most Beneficent (Allah) that He should beget a son (or offspring or children) (Maryam 92) v.redd.it/8rxzkybmo1c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/umaradil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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Sleep begets sleep

My LO is nearly 6mo and went through a terrible nap phase for nearly the last month, only napping for maybe ten minutes and then waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed. The tiny terror would then spend the next two hours UNHINGED and not able to rest but also not able to play or do anything else. The ship was sinking and he was batting the plug from my hands like a plump little kraken.

This week he is finally FINALLY napping for an hour or more at a time. Not only do I get to EXIST in peace but he’s sleeping so much better at night.

Sleep begets sleep. Now I’m gonna take a nap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shanoapop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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But it is not suitable for (the Majesty of) the Most Beneficent (Allah) that He should beget a son (or offspring or children) (Maryam 92) v.redd.it/8rxzkybmo1c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/umaradil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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Competition begets quality
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulTheMartian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2021
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Can someone please explain to me WHY sleep begets more sleep? (I.e.: A full night’s sleep leads to longer and more sound naps the following day…) More below…

I have an 11-week-old daughter, who, blessedly, has been a fairly good sleeper since around 2 weeks. (She’s a champion at night but naps are tricky…) It seems to me… when she gets a solid night’s sleep with no wakings (usually 11 p.m. - 6 or 7 a.m.), she’ll go down easier and stay asleep longer for daytime naps (Up to two hours in the morning and another two hours in the evening…) She will basically put herself to sleep!

HOWEVER, if she has a fitful night’s rest and wakes at 3 or 4 a.m. to eat… the following day, when she’s presumably more tired, she will only nap for 30-40 minute clips and seems much more restless.

WHY is this? And, how can I get her to take better naps during those restless days?

Thanks so much! :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmconda
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2021
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Why is Congress a millionaires club? Do already wealthy people tend to run, or does power beget wealth? Or both?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThongofSekhmet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2021
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Yep. Kindness begets kindness.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokicatto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2021
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Tragedy often begets more tragedy. Denver's coroner wants to break the cycle by offering families help. coloradosun.com/2021/12/3…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brytard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2021
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A potato traitor with its throat slit on the side of the road. Violence begets violence.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dserfaty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2022
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Tragedy often begets more tragedy. Denver's coroner wants to break the cycle by offering families help. coloradosun.com/2021/12/3…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brytard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2021
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But it is not suitable for (the Majesty of) the Most Beneficent (Allah) that He should beget a son (or offspring or children) (Maryam 92) v.redd.it/8rxzkybmo1c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/umaradil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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If blood begets blood, then ____ begets ____
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πŸ‘€︎ u/purakii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2021
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For AMD’s Commercial PC Head, Patience Begets Ryzen Pro Growth crn.com/slide-shows/compo…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncertainlyso
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2021
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Sometimes it helps to Laugh through our Pains - Buy a little Lower - For they Beget Gains... Anyway... MERRY EARLY XMAS - Hope You Enjoy! v.redd.it/j7gnl66ako581
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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But it is not suitable for (the Majesty of) the Most Beneficent (Allah) that He should beget a son (or offspring or children) (Maryam 92) v.redd.it/8rxzkybmo1c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/umaradil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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power begets parasites, long live anarchy v.redd.it/gy8i9ody7z181
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Mastodon2016
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2021
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DrHeatherICU - β€œSociety doesn’t want to talk about triage. But we are triaging. We triage resources. Leaving the debate about how to decide if an individual gets treatment or not, what we are doing now is only crisis management, which begets more crisis.” threadreaderapp.com/threa…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComradeManitoban
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2021
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Tragedy begets comedy: it really was the friends we made along the way.

I appreciate that Bill gave it to us straight. I can't justify holding for months for only the potential of SPARs. I'm sure there will be a record date once/if they are approved. It's too expensive for me to maintain my position in the meantime for this. I have too much leverage/concentration.

There goes my $2.7m, but I hope my loss is your gain. My sincerest apologies to everyone for the hopium. Talk about expensive lessons that seem obvious in hindsight:

  1. Don't buy pre-Merger SPACs above NAV.
  2. Don't buy options on them.
  3. Don't buy them on margin.
  4. Don't buy based on hopium or camaraderie.

This was one of the most horrible experiences I've had, but I do value the new friends I made (the irony of this statement after lesson #4 is not lost on me). Please don't contact me about lawsuits you'd like to file. This is my mistake and I will bear it.

I'll be around. ❀️

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moazzam0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2021
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Shenanigans beget shennainigans...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darth_juvenis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2021
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"Reason begets honesty"

How do you take your coffee? Lots of sugar and cream or no frills and black?

Do you take time to fully wake up, like me, or are you bright eyed and busy tailed first thing?

If you get inconvenienced, something small happening that annoys you, how do you handle it?

Are you a more observant person or are you wholly present?

Do you use a bookmark? What is it? Do you use any scraps you can find, or do you use the one I left?

When conversation's edge dulls, do you take the reins and steer it or let it fall flat?

If you see a bug on its back, do you flip it over or watch it squirm and leave it?

Do you get super obscure songs or snippets stuck in your head? What are they?

When you see a mirror, do you fuss over your hair, check your teeth, say nice things to yourself?

What's your motivation like? Your creativity? How do you hype yourself up to do things?

How's your headspace? Do you feel that you're vocal enough?

Little details are sacred. That's intimacy. Whatever routines you carry out, I want to be privy to them. It's because I'm nosey, forgetful, and altogether way too curious. You've always seemed an open book, but even open books have secrets. If I knew these things already, remind me. Even if it's the small things.

Especially the small things.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/angelofmorning
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2021
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To beget life is to dig a grave

It's not that hard to wrap your head around. No single life is complete without it's death, so if you're responsible for the existence of a living being, you're as responsible for it's death. I suppose this worldview is unpopular since a) I observe my fellow people act and argue like it's completely fine to bear life into a world overstocked with agony (and sometimes even blaming their offspring for their own failures) and b) because the media will not ever seem to stop with portraying life solely as a gift, which it most definitely is not....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jatowi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2021
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Necessity begets ingenuity
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SluggishWorm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2021
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β€˜Inciting violence begets violence’: Paul Gosar censured over video aimed at AOC | House of Representatives theguardian.com/us-news/2…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ecdolphins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2021
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