Lets go back to the future!
When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue.
It's intense tense in tents
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-
You really are a head of your time
Your mother couldn’t believe that an actual skunk could predict the future.
But it was a real fortune smeller.
In the future, historians will call 2020 the Hindsight year because we have clearly seen it all
The past,The present and The future entered a bar
In the future...
In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" 😂🤣
I was watching back to the future and I am amazed at how well they hold up.
They truly were ahead of their time
Future dad joke
Kiddo: Geez whiz dad, we didn't get any snow at all this year!
Papa: Yeah, it never used to be like this back in the colden days...
Everyone: sigh
In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.
After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.
My future boss asked if i could perform under pressure.
I said "No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody"
Highlighter pens are the future.
Good punmanship is an investment in your future
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme
Which of the saints could predict the future?
If the price of oil futures goes any deeper, it will hit oil.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.
In that sense, he was on the money.
There is no Iran in the future
Dads in the future: Why do they call it the novel corona virus?
I’m worried my young daughter might have a future in crime. Today, she found a tree branch on the ground...
She immediately raised it above her head and said, “This is a stick up!”
(Credit to my 2.5 year old- inspired by true events)
In Back to the Future, the DeLorean wasn't driven much
It was driven from time to time though.
A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?
She will chose the fourth prince: he's the most hand-some.
What did the indigenous Canadian man say when he predicted the future?
My friend told me he have never seen “Back To the Future”
Disney is making a movie about a Spanish princess who lives in the future.
My buddy spider really has his future planned.
He wants to become a web designer.
The overweight guy at the bank could see into the future
he was a four-chin teller
At the therapist’s office, I asked my wife, “You are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, won’t you?”
People who pull forward into parking spots are living in the moment. Those who back up into the spot, are thinking about the future.
Back To The Future Trailer
https://preview.redd.it/stqi37ik5t041.jpg?width=788&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=128852b96d6ae4852c2c3906ae3e404c655244b1
Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.
It's an new Al-Gore-rithm
If you could predict what scents you will smell in the future...
...you would be Nose-tradamus
As I move into the new year, my future only seems fuzzy...
I guess I just need a better resolution
My goals for the future....
I hate it when people ask me,”what do you think the future is going to be like?”
The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.
That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.
Back To The Future
Hey do you remember that one scene from Back To The Future where Marty McFlew across the room?
Star Wars / Back to the Future crossover bio pic coming soon
I can picture the powers of the future, stronger than ever, and the resistance fighting desperately against them for freedom...
Before every battle, the resistors meditate saying, "ohm..."
I finally got my wife to watch Back to the future.....
I told her it's about time
Did you hear about the guy who traveled 500 years into the future?
He is way ahead of his time.
After a world-renowned athlete lost an important match, his wife suggested that in the future he wear a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck to boost his confidence.
He’s been undie-feeted ever since.
2019 has been such a bad year for seeing a positive future...
Let's all hope for better vision in 2020.
What happens if the past, the present and the future meet in a bar?
One day in the near future, Canada will take over the world.
And then we will all be sorry.
"Dad, is it possible to travel to the future?" "Yes" "How?"
...
...
...
WELCOME TO THE FUTURE!
What do you call a man that tells the future and has four dark spots around him?
What do you call a Nuclear Physicist planning for the future?
I watched Back to the Future over and over, and I finally understand the point of the movie...
I can see two years into the future
What do parents give their baby if they want them to become a future race car driver?
I strongly believe that Highlighters will be the only thing used in the future.
If my current career doesn't work out, I might have a future in stripping.
Which Pokemon can tell you the future?
I hope I'm the first to say this about the next US presidential election. Last election left plenty of people mad, but we won't have any near sighted politicians next time, because whoever runs in 2020 will have a clear vision of the future.
Because 20/20 vision means you have perfectly good sight.
Pun on a pun: I wonder if RealClearPolitics.com will catch on.
Naming our future children.
Told my girlfriend I had some ideas for names for our future kids.
First was Penelope for a girl, because I always liked the nickname Penny. Girlfriend thought it was cute and agreed.
Next was Dimitri because it's not too common and sounds artsy. Girlfriend was not much of a fan, but agreed it would sound good with our last name.
Last was Nicholas Levar for a son's name. Named after Santa Claus and Star Trek's Geordi La Forge. I love Christmas and my girlfriend loves Star Trek. Girlfriend shot it down.
At this point I said, "But the nicknames are good! Penny, Dime, and Nick L. We would have 16 cents to our name! It makes cents to me!"
Not sure if she wants to have kids with me now.
EDIT: To the guys saying Dime isn't a nickname for Dimitri, they're MY imaginary kids, I'll call them what I damn want.
When my circular friends get depressed, I tell them that they may not be around in the future.
While some say reddit posts don't affect your future, getting reddit gold is really...
Au-spicious.
While this joke is bad, I doubt you've reddit before.
What do you call it when the Queen can see the future?
My friend said he always had trouble understanding the plot of the Back to the Future movies, but he finally got it.
I think this kid has a bright future
Usually I have a pretty clear view of what I'll be doing in the future, but I just can't see myself in 2020.
Someone asked me about the future of juggling.
Someone asked me about the future of juggling.
I told them, "it's up in the air."
I’ve foreseen the future and here’s 2019 in a nutshell
My wife knows I'm thinking about our future together
when I buy two 12-packs of beer
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-
You really are a head of your times
Past, present and future walked into a bar.
The past, present and future walk into a bar
The past, present and future walk into the bar,
The past, present and future walk into a bar
What does the past present and future have in common?
The Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar.
The past, present and future walk in to a bar..
Past, Present and Future walked into a bar...
The past, present, and future went camping...
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
The past, present and future walk into a bar.
The Past, Present and Future walked into a bar
The future, the past and the present walked in to a bar.
Things got a little tense
Time puns - The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
My wife is finally going to watch Back to the Future
I told her it's about time.
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar.
Things got a little tense.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
Some day in the near future, Canada will take over the world.
And then we will all be sorry.
The past, the present and the future walk into a bar.
Things got a little tense.
My wife is finally going to watch Back to the Future.
I told her it's about time.
What do parents give their baby if they want them to become a future race car driver?
I can see 2 years into the future
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