Red man flashing

One day there was a red man in his red house so in the morning he went to have a shower but when he got in to the shower his red sister had to go to the toilet so the red man got his red towel and walked outside because he heard a bang at the door and when he bent over to get the newspaper his towel fell off and a little old lady crossed the road and got hit by a truck, Don’t cross the road while the red man is flashing!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyproyt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I'll never forget the day I was born. All those flashing lights and unfamiliar faces.

I don't think my parents should've taken me to a nightclub at that age.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If the black guy from House had a seizure from flashing lights, how would House diagnose him?

Epps-ilepsy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquirrellyOtter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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Flashing Duck imgur.com/ARMn6vF
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banginbowties
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2015
🚨︎ report
NEWS FLASH! The toilet has been stolen from the local police station.

Police say they've got nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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Have a dream about being The Flash

...and you’ll be fast asleep.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icterine-Kangaroo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2021
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French swing-dancing flash mob exclaims in dismay at being arrested for disorderly conduct.

It was a zut! suit riot.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/conflateer
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
🚨︎ report
News flash: A sewage truck exploded on the highway.

Many nearby were left with turd debris burns.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSabrewulf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
In Zack Snyder's Justice League, Barry Allen breaks a window by simply touching it.

This is because Windows no longer supports Flash...

πŸ‘︎ 226
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blainemoore
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I just had a near sex experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 269
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the flash light get arrested?...

.

.

.

.

For public flashing.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elfere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know The Flash can run faster than lightning?

This is mainly because lightning can't run

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I said I love the Reverse Flash on Barry Allen's subreddit

I received the fastest ban alive.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebatm3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you called the fastest photographer alive ?

The Flash

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TexTrap
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Say cheeese
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Quick as a flash my dad

Me: β€œHey mom what’s puree ?

(Before she even takes a breath my dad pipes up)

Dad: β€œThat’s a Canadian”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chairebear
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Disabled flash
πŸ‘︎ 528
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did O say to Q?

Wear some underwear and stop flashing you pervert!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeclapabents
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
When Adobe decides to finally end Flash Player, they’ll actually be building something new!

They’ll be breaking newgrounds!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dougmantis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhy can’t 2021 take a picture in the dark

because it doesn’t have flash

πŸ‘︎ 202
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZETA_RETICULI_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Amazon really be having the biggest Flash Sale of the Summer...
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mbs3
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
This is a bit of a running joke in my family

The Flash.

I've told it a few times you see.

https://youtu.be/GSIGS-6Sfcw

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Word_Dudely
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the Justice League accept the Adobe Sponsorship?

Because it would have required them to kill Flash.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoDragonsPlz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Which Avenger is always in a hurry?

Black Widow-- cause she's Russian

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mark_Septi_Pie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Disable flash
πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kbro18
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
DC and Marvel should make a crossover between The Flash and The Incredible Hulk.

They could call it "The Fast and the Furious."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kwakerjak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Death Flashed Before My Eyes
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlakeTheMadd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Two elderly women were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. One woman has a stroke.

The other couldn’t reach.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Ah yes, computer
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jamelnish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
When you’re taking a photo and accidentally leave the flash on
πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombieG4mer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Barry Allen likes to listen to The Rolling Stones when he workouts

His favorite is β€œjumpin’ jack flash”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beatlesfan196450
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the Flash like his eggs?

Runny

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OthelolzNZ
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm glad my friend enlightened me on this deal
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bflowwolf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My brothers hate me and my mom might well be on her way to disowning me because I told them the Flash didn't need to get shocked by lighting...

since he was already Barry fast.

^(sighs)

My dad however, is very proud of me.

πŸ‘︎ 401
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leonoraMTY
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the Flash name his car?

A Flash Drive

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben-Dover-123
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
🚨︎ report
3 nuns were praying...

Three nuns were praying on a park bench when a man walks up and flashes them.

1st nun had a stroke, the 2nd nun also had a stroke.

The 3rd one was too slow!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steakfrites88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
It's said that just before death, your entire life flashes before your eyes.

Not in the case of Buddhists. They hear 'Spawning in 3..2..1..'

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The flash, Batman, and Superman create a standup group. Can you guess what they’re called?

The DC Comics

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jack-b1501
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a library of dad jokes stored on my flash-drive

16 giggle-bytes of them to be exact

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/____okay
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to watch The Flash on Netflix the other day

I just couldn't keep up.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattGibsonBass
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
IM Flash owns a building on this road and I'm crying
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LumosTerris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

πŸ‘︎ 999
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I just had a near sex experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What will you do if The Flash dies?

You Barry him.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superbboiz
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I had a near sex experience.

I saw my wife flash before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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