I asked fellow astronauts on ISS for some milk to put in my coffee but was informed I can't have any.

They said: "In space nobody can. Here, use cream"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the queen say when a fellow threw some cheese at her?

How dairy!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperGrandPatzer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Happy New Year fellow dad jokesters! For 2021, I’m going to turn all of my problems into opportunities.

Starting with my severe drinking opportunity

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How are u doing fellow cool kids
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
"Fellow Spearman, why must you hold your spear in such an irregular stance?"

But then it hit them why he was holding it in a overhand grip.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTaminus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?

He’s all right now!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phoenixrejoicez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.

Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anynamethatworks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Here's a joke I made for my fellow Nicks out there :

Don't ask me for 5 cents anytime soon...

because I'm Nicholas.

(that's right! a joke only we can tell!)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I like my fellow redditors

We have lots...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOtherHoboBeard
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently had a fellow knocking door to door asking for donations for our local pool...

I was happy to give him a full glass of water to help!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyrojodge
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Fresh from our fellow r/meme-rs
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpazioCreativity
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
"Two men have been arrested under suspicion of drug smuggling," I told my fellow cop.

"Names?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, "I presume they have names."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting to know your fellow dwellers I'd say.
πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-TJ-Guy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Fellow Dads, Help me name this Garden Art

Looking for what my fellow Dads would name this garden artwork in my buddies yard.

Carved Tree

I called it GandOwlF

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marc--
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhat did the farmer say to his fellow farmer when they bought another bird?‬

This swan’s on me‬

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a Mexican fellow that always seemed very pale, as tho drained of color...

He's wan.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Long time dad first time poster in need of some help from my fellow dad's in here. What is Snoop Dogg fishing for?

Fishizzle!

Here is what i need help with. I seen a some fishing gear with the name "fishizzle" and lighting struck! Has anyone heard this one before? Did I just make a OC dad joke? If so Is it "dad joke" worthy? I really hope so becuase I just sent this to my daughter.

Thanks in advance.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dieoner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Ok guys. Time to rally together to help a fellow new dad out. I’m MCing a wedding and need the worst of the worst wedding themed dad jokes you have to offer.

Sorry I’m advance if this isn’t allowed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derkus19
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
That fellow in that steam rocket ship…

He is the flattest Earther

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What is it called when a person murders his own fellow gangmember?

A homiecide.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mijuzz7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Met this intimidating fellow last week, asked if he needed anything, he replied with a hoarse voice..

"neiggggghhh"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrImpartial
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
For my fellow electronics nerds
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hauntedshock
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Happy Fryday fellow Redditors
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcleland1992
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
PSA for my fellow dad's n grampses...

"not in this decade", "see ya next decade" and the like are only good for the next 10 days...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aelwero
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Hello fellow redditor
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A man recently immigrated to a new land were he doesn’t speak the language. His fellow workers take him to lunch everyday. One of them teaches him to order Apple Pie and Coffee for himself. For weeks, this is all he orders.

Morning, Apple Pie and Coffee. Noon, Apple Pie and Coffee. Night, Apple Pie and Coffee. Getting tired of this same meal, he asks his coworkers to teach him a new dish to order. He learns Steak and Eggs.

Waitress: Hiya hon’, Apple Pie and Coffee as usual?

Man (smiling proudly): Steak and Eggs!

Waitress: Oh! Changing it up to day! How would you like your eggs? Scrambled, sunny side up, poached, fried? How would you like your steak? Rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, well? . . . . . .

Man: ... Apple Pie and Coffee.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObiOneToo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Fellow fathers: When someone yells "STOP" do you say

A.) Collaborate and listen
B.) In the name of love
C.) Hammer time

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hann1980
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A breadbox is talking to his fellow margarine stick...

β€œWhere’s my money?” asked the box.

β€œI’ll get it to you, don’t worry!” the stick answered, slipping up on his words and having a meltdown.

β€œWell, you butter get it to me quickly, or you’re toast!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShowPan69
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Hey fellow dads need some help: If someone finds me hot

Do I play it off cool.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpiderKnight68
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a sharp dressed fellow on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed one on a tricycle?

A tire.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/13FoxDan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know of any forums for fellow ax murderers?

We can share LifeHacks...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SarcasticaFont
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates…

The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.

Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself.

But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top, which he had promised his wife.

So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.

But, alas, Andy refused.

He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place."

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Fellow Dads, don’t forget that it’s best to serve eggs Benedict on a hubcap this time of year

We all know there’s no plates like chrome, for the hollandaise

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Purgid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Which engineers are the most decent fellows?

Civil Engineers.

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IaintGotNoHistory
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2016
🚨︎ report
I was told off by my fellow hikers for covering my walking stick in dried grapes.

Well, now I'm raisin cane!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to know a nun who smoked cigarettes. Her fellow nuns didn't approve

Fortunately, she got out of that habit

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hylanos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fellow who threw away his new iron skillet?

It smelt funny...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spiritdad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
There once was a fellow named Saul...

He fell in a spring one fall.

Would have been a sad thing, if he died in that spring,

But he didn't, he died in the fall.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGarp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my fellow soccer teammates.

I play indoor soccer with a group of guys every Thursday night at the local church. We play for fun so we have some ground rules so it doesn't get too aggressive. One of the guys went for a slide and scored a goal everyone was quite upset at this knowing we had already established that sliding, especially indoor, was not allowed. While everyone was arguing whether the goal counted or not I responded with, " I think we can let that one slide." Collective groan from many, many others allowed it.

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewhatnowyousay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2014
🚨︎ report
Tonight I was at work and told a fellow employee I had to hurry and run straight to my next job from here.

He turned to me and asked, "wouldn't driving there be quicker?"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weenus_tickler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
🚨︎ report
i need help fellow r/puns residents i need to come up with 80’s themed puns for a veggie tray and chocolate mouse

Edit: I was not born in the 80’s I will not get any of the references

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaboi_15
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?

He’s all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batmanshsu
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhat did the farmer say to his fellow farmer when they bought another bird?‬

β€ͺThis swan’s on me‬

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redwitch-fr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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