You'd think snails would be faster without their shells.
But they're actually a bit more sluggish.
Why are French snails faster than American ones?
I was entering my pet snail in a race, the problem was I wanted him to be faster and more streamlined, so I removed his shell.
Unfortunately it didn't work, he was just more sluggish.
People might think that if a Snail loses its shell, they would be faster
But they become more sluggish.
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
But no, it only made him more sluggish.
My dad told me this rn. "Which is faster, heat or cold?"
Heat because you can catch a cold.
What’s faster, cold or hot?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
What do you call a walking stick that makes you walk faster?
My church can move faster than light
Why does an ovum-dealing hymentoptera make things faster?
Because it's an egg-seller ant
Why do injured cats get to the vet faster than injured dogs?
Cat litter's more common.
Light travels faster than sound.
That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
What makes cars look faster?
How do you make an hourglass you faster?
You fill it with quicksand.
Snails don't move any faster if you remove their shells.
In fact, they become more sluggish.
What do you add to make a car go faster?
Can you take care of that? Faster?
Did you know milk is faster than the speed of light?
It’s pasteurized before you know it.
It was a lovely movie and I had a hot date, so I asked her to whisper something in my ear that would make my heart beat faster. She gave me this sly little smile and then she replied,
"Don't look now, but your wife is sitting right behind us."
Did you know centipedes have a faster top speed than humans.
They run at 100 feet a second
Two truckers decided to have a competition to see who had the faster truck...
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve particles that move faster than light."
A tachyon walks into a bar.
Did you know the population of Ireland is growing at a faster rate than any other country in the world?
It’s capital has been Dublin every year.
True story: my daughter was playing a pet-salon game on her iPad and said to me: "Hey dad, I've just worked out that if you just brush their teeth over and over you get experience points faster." To which I replied: "You shouldn't grind your teeth."
I heard some scientists were surprised when they discovered a particle that moves faster than the speed of light.
I guess they just didn’t see it coming
Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water.
Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.
A new study has found that white envelopes tend to be delivered faster than envelopes of any other colour
I guess you could say that there's...
white mail privilege
My girlfriend and I had a race to see who could clean their dishes faster but it was so close
So I entered my snail in to a race, but I took his shell off to make him faster.
It ended up making him sluggish.
How do you dehydrate your grapes faster?
I’ve heard about new technology capable of building houses way faster than a human
But i need concrete evidence
My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster.
Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish.
Have you noticed milk trucks are going faster these days?
One blink and they are pasteurize
Do you know why my bicycle can't go faster than speed of light ?
Teacher: “Which Of The Two Travels Faster, Heat Or Cold?”
Teacher: “Which Of The Two Travels Faster, Heat Or Cold?”
Student: “Heat”
Teacher: “What Makes You Think That?”
Student: “Because We Catch Cold“
My friend had coiled pieces of metal inserted into her legs to help her run faster...
Plus they gave her a spring in her step!
Wouldn't snails move faster if they just took off their shells?
Well, actually, it would make them more sluggish.
People have a misconception that if you take the shell off snails, it will go faster...
But they just end up being sluggish.
Edit: Don't thank me, the wife laid this one on me just now. I told her was going to post this on reddit, she said we've run out of stamps.
Name idea for buttons you can press on your computer to get around programs faster.
imgur.com/ZR5eGBg
If you want the day to pass faster just throw your chronometer.
Afterwards, watch time fly
Why do photons move faster than sound waves?
Because they’re traveling light.
My coworkers and I were discussing the future and faster than light travel.
One of them said, “All we have to do is make ourselves massless and then we can do it.”
Another replied “But how do we bring our luggage?”
At which point I chimed in, “You pack light.”
How do you get faster wait times in the ER
It's all a matter of how you present yourself
My brother kept annoying me and quoting things i said. He got faster and faster.
If a snail loses its shell does it become faster?
No, it gets a bit more sluggish.
Heard it on Round Planet from Netflix
Why are boys faster than girls?
Well they better be, each one is equipped with a stick shift and ball bearings.
-credit: my dad.
Why do motorized vehicles always get over traumatic events faster than everything else?
They have shock absorbers.
I thought removing my snail's shell would make him faster...
Turns out that it just made him more sluggish.
I painted my computer black so it would run faster...
But now it doesn't work :(
How do you call a butterfly that can fly faster than any other butterly?
I met someone online and challenged her to see who could do something faster, and when I looked back she was gone.
A new, faster elevator was installed at work today.
"Well that escalated quickly"
Second-hand cigarette smoke kills faster than smoking them, does it?
Then you'd better start smoking if you wanna see old age.
My wife said, of RideLondon participants, "I can ride faster than that on my bike in the garage"
I replied, you won't get very far in the garage
Working in a restaurant, this constantly gets me chuckling. Definitely makes the work-day go faster, and one of my favorites.
"Got an order! Nacho chicken!" Whose is it?!
"Got an order! Nacho chicken!" We know that already!
"Got an order! Nacho chicken!" So whose is it?!
"Got an order! Nachos!" Of course not! It's the customer's!
Making computers go faster
My little sister just got a new computer but found it slow, so she asked our dad: Dad? How can I make my computer go faster?
Dad: I can take you out for a drive, and make that thing go 120! followed by hysterical laughing from himself, and me
Note: 120 kmh
You would think that a Snail without a shell would move that bit faster ?
But it's actually more sluggish.
What is faster, Hot or Cold ?
Hot, you can catch a cold
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him go faster. If anything it made him more sluggish.
What’s faster, cold or hot?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
What's faster, heat or cold?
Heat. Because you can catch a cold.
I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell...
It only made it more sluggish.
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. Unfortunately, it just seems to have made him sluggish.
What’s faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold!
You know how light travels faster than sound?
That's why people look bright until they open their mouths.
You'd think snails would be faster without their shells
but it turns out they're actually more sluggish.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Took the shell off my racing snail to see if I could make it go faster...
Just made it a bit sluggish.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
I thought a snail would be faster without it's shell but actually it is quite sluggish
How do you make a car go faster?
I wanted to see if my snail would move faster without the it's shell
but it wasn't any less sluggish then before.
I took the shell off of my pet snail to see if it would move faster
But it just ended up being more sluggish.
What makes cars go faster?
I took the shell off my pet snail to make him go faster
But now he’s even more sluggish than before
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I took off the shell of my snail to make him go faster...
but now he is more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail to make it go faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.
Why is hot faster than cold?
You can always catch a cold
I removed the shell from my snail to make it faster
But instead it just made it sluggish.
A snail was told he would go faster if he took his shell off.........
...... but it just made him more sluggish!
Thought taking my shell of my racing snail would make it faster.
Turns out that just made it more sluggish.
I took the shell off my pet snail to see if it would move any faster.
It just made it more sluggish.
I thought pulling the shell off my racing snail would make him faster...
But it just made him more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail to make him go faster...
...It just made him more sluggish
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