Bought these expensive sausages, and my ungrateful kids won't eat them because, in their words, "they're past the expiration date".

Friggin' spoiled brats

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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Expiration Dates

This happened last February while my mom was about to prepare some lunch.

Mom: This hummus is dated 2-03-13 but I guess it's okay...

Dad: Well your face is dated 2-12-1964 but you don't see us complaining.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/storybookheidi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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Expiration dates were the world's first spoiler alert.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryantheoverseer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2015
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How do you tell if noodles are old?

If they’re pasta expiration date.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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My wife asked me: "Why have you been reading our marriage certificate for an hour?"

I'm looking for the expiration date.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brisquet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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"I dont know, it feels like the relationship was starting to go bad..."

"Did you go on an expiration date?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumanAsFarAsIKnow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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My wife was eating a date.

She asked how you can tell if a date has gone bad.

I said usually the first sign is a lack of conversation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaltimoreBirdGuy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
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I'm a Dad. I rock this one constantly

Whenever I see something with an expiration date that has a ridiculous time a lotted for consumption I will say... For instance today is august 16,2013 If i buy cereal today that expires on november 2015 I will say "we have to hurry up and eat this by november 2015!" Hahaha...crickets

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ron247365
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2013
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Dadjoked my husband today

While cleaning out the pantry last night, my husband asked if I can see when the container of dates will go bad as he can't find a "Best if Used By" on the packaging. I take the container from him, look at it carefully and reply "Apparently, these are no expiration dates".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lipdoo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2015
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So my dad bought a bag of chips..

He said they were a 'bit' expired http://i.imgur.com/W4PsWai.jpg (Date actually says 12/19/14 :3)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deadpoetic31
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2014
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