Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.
Man: Wait! I can explain everything.
A man's son entered a raffle to win the deed to an entire shopping plaza.
The son's ticket number wasn't the one picked to win. Despondently, the son told the results to his dad. In an effort to console him, his dad replied..."Well, sorry son, but you can't win the mall."
I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
....
It was a shitzu.
EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)
i’m giving up masturbating for an entire month
sorry, poor punctuation.
i’m giving up! masturbating for an entire month.
No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to master the entire alphabet.
How did one duck bring down an entire ship?
I don’t need an entire biscuit.
Just a single bis is fine. Don’t need a whole kit.
Make an entire Q of these.
One bird can't finish an entire bowl of Froot Loops
Just witnessed a tragic car accident where a man lost his entire left side...
I just threw away an entire box of animal crackers.
I had to because the seal was broken.
This entire thread of car puns
Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers
That must have been Mordor
I will give you my entire Pixar collection
But I am never gonna give you Up
My friend lied when he said he didn’t make an entire book out of cloth.
His story was completely fabricated.
My dog ate an entire box of crayons by himself and got a horrible stomach ache.
I challenged my entire family to see who could fast the longest.
You could say my competition is getting slim.
As an orchestra conductor, I could tell when the entire violin section missed the key with no sharps or flats...
The professor had used the entire blackboard for the lecture
The blackboard is now chalk-full of information
What is a entire donkey called?
I left work and a cop followed me home for my entire 50 minute commute then ticketed me in my own driveway.
He approached me after I had parked in my driveway and asked if I knew why he was writing me a ticket.
I told him I had no idea what I had done wrong.
He said that he followed me for my entire commute and not once did I get in an accident. He fined me for wreck-less driving.
"A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
Like most people, I was able to recite the entire alphabet from a young age. But then I became an ordained minister.
I now pronounce U man and wife.
I was carrying a bowl of chili from the kitchen and my dog ran in and caused me to drop the entire bowl on top of him, covering him in chili.
Best thing about these meme format is we get to repost jokes we’ve heard our entire lives
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.
'Stuff was completely one-sided
This entire chain is a train wreck (and there is a lot more than this)
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
LPT: When you are telling a joke to identical twins, make sure you say the entire joke.
Because it isn’t easy to tell them a part.
Someone said a single person can’t change the entire world.
They never ate an undercooked bat.
I've never been Prouder in my entire life
Seriously, who is this Mr. or Mrs. Prouder?
Son: Once filled with petrol, I can drive my car for an entire week.
Me: Stop consuming petrol.
What happened when the entire family got food poisoning?
Baby shart, do do do do
Mommy shart, do do do do
Daddy shart, do do do do...
What’s the best color in the entire world?
Hy-purple-y!
Made up by my 7-year old daughter. So proud
Edit: should have spelled it hy-purple-e
If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire.
v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
Today I messed up and bought an entire cupboard of beef stock.
But hey, at least I’m now a boullionnaire
How many ants does it take to fill an entire apartment?
Went to my date’s house after dinner last night and saw she had a Soviet flag covering the entire wall
I knew that was a big red flag
Nancy Pelosi made the most epic dad joke in front of the entire nation.
She thought the State of the Union speech was tearable.
I've had a lispth my entire life. Plusth I can't remember the name of the upper musthcle of the leg.
I felt a little sad for my lucky sock when I looked down and saw another rip, this one baring my entire ankle.
I sniffled. My sock was on it's last leg.
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.
Man: Wait. I can explain everything!
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!
Man: Wait, I can explain everything!
Did you hear about the kid who lost his entire left side in a car accident?
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!
Me: Wait, I can explain everything!
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