I dropped my Oreos...

They became Floor-eos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dolphinflavored
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Can anyone tell me why Canadian bees are so different to US bees?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robbiekhan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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What do you call a hopeless romantic who wanders the countryside?

Roam-eo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RhynoCTR
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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My girlfriend says she might be pansexual...

Here is a screenshot. Me and my girlfriend were texting each other:

Her: One day I do want to try having sex with a girl just to see what it's like, but I think I'm just really open minded about it. Or I'm pansexual which my dad thinks I am.

Me: -I send her a picture of a frying pan- So does this turn you on? I knew you liked cooking, but I didn't know they had a word for it.

Her: I'm gonna kill you -_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J52
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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Got my girlfriend good while saying goodbye

I was leaving university while she was saying behind for another class.

Her: I'll walk you to the steps, cos I don't feel like walking down just to go back up

Me: That's fair, you're not really the Stair-eo-type

A large amount of groaning followed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nestorow
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
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The roles were reversed this time...

My dad has been growing a moustache for Movember, and I commented on it.

Me: You know, you should grow a Lenin beard; it'd suit you.

Him: Really?

Me: Yeah, you could cosplay as Lenin and go to conventions! Hey, you could go to CommieCon! [satisfied grin]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jec178
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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