What do you call a drifting Tesla?

The electric slide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanjosRuleDude
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Drifting away
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EC097
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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If you drift a Tesla.....

Is it called an electric slide?

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YostYost
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 664
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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The Sahara Desert drifts into a bar and the bartender says…

"Long time no sea."

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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He was violently frustrated to find that his sailboat had drifted a great many miles off course overnight

He needed to work on his anchor management

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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My wife and I bought a water bed recently but ever since then...

...we’ve drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 800
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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My boat drifted off from the port. If you find

report it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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When my son didn't laugh at a fart joke during a trip to the Egyptian History Museum, I realized we had drifted apart.

Now we don't even have a toot in common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sometimes_Lies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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My girlfriend and I broke up at summer camp. We got into an argument over which canoe to get take.

She got in one and I the other. Then we just drifted apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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It took me a while to understand why it is hard to drive in the snow,

but now icy

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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I once had a relationship with a woman who lived on the houseboat next to mine

but sadly we drifted apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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There is a punk-metal band called Pangea what is it called when the band breaks up?

Continental Drift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DudeWithRedditAcc
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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"They'll drift apart."

I was catering a wedding and this dad joke was given during the dad's speech:

Dad: "When they got engaged, my wife and I went out to look for a present to get them to congratulate them. My wife thought the best gift idea would be to purchase them a water bed. I said, 'A water bed?! They'll drift apart!'"

Classic dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zzurn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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A good joke to listen to, if you catch my drift...

Me: "I think she's going deaf..."

Dad: "What?"

Me: "I said I think she's going deaf!"

Dad: "What??"

Me: "I SAID I.........wait."

He chuckles to himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coastercruiser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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Spoiler alert!!!!!!1111!!!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolKid89283638
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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Feeling a little low, I decided to peruse the local record shop for a new addition to my music collection.

Drifting down the alphabetised rock section, nothing really appealed to me from A-M. Disappointed, I moved around to the other side of the rack when suddenly I felt uplifted, content and at one with the universe. I had reached Nirvana.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yetanotherrob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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I shovel my snow, but the wind keeps blowing it back.

It’s really annoying, if you catch my drift.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hypnotic99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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I think Nintendo produces their joy-cons on Tokyo

Because they drift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swanton141
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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An escaped prisoner was captured down at the docks.

They were harboring a fugitive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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What do you call a virtual reality raft?

Oculus Drift

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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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What's it called when a oinkkle of pigs mock each other?

Pork Roast

Edit : Drift, not Oinkkle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hentaisianbloke
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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Parallel lines have so much in common.

It's a shame they'll never meet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tankguy41
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
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I used to be a fan of the snow

...but then I drifted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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What's a good start when trying to pick up a girl in swampland?

Can I bayou a beer?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
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A family of balloons

Here's a joke my dad told me. Sorry if you've heard it, but I found it hilarious, and I think you might enjoy it.

In a small town in the suburbs, there was a small family of balloons. There was a mummy balloon, a daddy balloon, and a small child balloon. Every night the boy would sleep between his parents, but his father had had enough.

"son, I know you love sleeping between us, but you're getting a bit too old for it., " the father said. "You're nearly 8, you're a big boy, and your mother and I think you should sleep in your own bed from now on. You can stay tonight but starting tomorrow we want you in your own bed. Do you understand?"

"Yeah dad, I understand..." the boy said with a maudlin tinge to his voice.

"okay son, I love you."

"love you too dad"

The next night the boy tried sleeping in his own bed, but there was a storm outside. It was a dark, ominous storm - the kind of storm that sounds like a cataclysm for the end of the world.

The boy was scared, so he went to sleep in his parents room. However when he tried to squeeze between them, he found he didn't fit. He felt defeated. He felt scared. He felt alone.

But then an idea struck him. He decided he'd just let a little bit of air out of his father. He tried to squeeze in again, but had no such luck. So he let a little bit of air out of his mother. He tried again. Still no luck. Finally, he decided to let some air out of himself. Success! He squeezed in tightly and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning his parents were furious. His father was feeling particularly angry, and screamed at his son.

"son, I told you not to sleep in our room. I told you to sleep in your own bed! Didn't I say that Hun?"

"yes dear," the mother said, feeling slightly deflated.

"so son, what do you have to say for yourself?" the father asked in anger.

"it was dark and stormy and..." the boy tried to spit out.

"I don't care son!" the father interrupted. "you can't keep doing this! I'm very disappointed. You've let me down, you've let me down, but worst of all..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aesyr_raps
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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I found out today you can hold air in your hands...

If you catch my drift

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unileaver
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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A man is driving along a back road at night

His car crashes into a tree, and he escapes unhurt though his car is badly damaged. However, he needs to find somewhere to stay overnight. The man wanders alnog the road until he comes across a monastery. He knocks on the door, and a friendly monk answers.

Man: I've crashed my car and need a place to stay tonight, might I have one of your rooms?

Monk: of course, come right this way.

The monk shows the man to a room, and the man goes to sleep. At midnight, the man is awoken by a loud thumping on the ceiling. He thinks nothing of it and goes to bed, sleeping soundly the rest of the night.

The next day at breakfast he asks one of the monks about the thumping. The monk replies,"sorry, I can't tell you you aren't a monk". The man figures that that's a pretty fair response, and goes to try and fix his car.

After working on the car all day, the man returns to the monastery and asks to stay another night. The monks of course oblige, and the man goes back to the same room. This night, he is awakened by the same thumping, this time even louder. He wonders about it and eventually drifts off to sleep.

The next day, the man continues to work on the car, and needs to stay just one more night to complete it. The monks are happy to give him a room, but the man asks to me moved to a different room so he won't hear the thumping. The man goes to bed but is awakened by even louder thumping.

He decides to go investigate, and climbs the stairs, only to find a locked iron door, with the thumping coming from behind it. Unsatisfied, he goes back to bed.

The next morning, he asks the lead monk about the thumping. The lead monk replies,"sorry, can't tell you you aren't a monk". The man, filled with curiosity, asks the leader how to become a monk. The leader gives him 3 tasks: the first, to circumnavigate the globe, to learn about culture, the second task, to cut an entire field with scissors to learn patience, and the third, to memorize the entire monk book, to learn discipline.

The man completes all the tasks, and the leader takes him up to the iron door and pulls out a key. He opens the door to reveal the Monk's greatest secret.

If you're wondering what it is, I'm sorry, I can't tell you, you aren't a monk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clutchdanger11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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I went skiing the other day

It was snow much fun!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manmanchuck44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2017
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24 Feb 2017, Revised Rules and meta-state of /r/puns

Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

I've been very busy with personal stuff for the past few weeks, so I've let this subreddit drift unattended. Reading some of the reports and comments after coming back makes me realize that my absence led to some unwanted events happening!


Let's start with the fun stuff: We now have a new fancy rulebook! If you suspect a post of breaking these rules, feel free to report it in the relevant category, or use (8) other if you suspect it to slip through the cracks of one of the other rules.

Secondly, as of right now, we do not have an explicit rule forbidding inflammatory subjects like race, politics, etc, as the rest of reddit seems to be melting down, but so far we remain unscathed. I wish to let you all crack puns like adults without having to put on training wheels, but if any of the above subjects become a problem then I will swiftly revisit this. Consider this a privilege, not a right, and do try to avoid abusing it! Piggybacking off this, any post that is more 'lewd' than PG should be NSFW tagged. If it is inappropriate for an office setting, I will manually NSFW it, and repeat offenders will have consequences.

Third, you can now request puns! start a self post with [request] and put in whatever information is necessary, such as "[request] puns about clocks".


I'll keep this post stickied for about a week or so, to keep it as a nice feedback net, and we can adjust rules, add/delete/modify them as needed, to keep our subreddit of lovely puns in peak condition!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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Have you heard the people who pronounce 'Pangea' with a hard 'g' instead of the soft one?

For the confused, I'm talking about consonantal drift.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
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My wife and I got a waterbed a few months back

Ever since then it seems like we've been drifting apart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/figure_d_it_out
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2016
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On the beach, you can get wood

If you catch my drift

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2016
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Dad joins a conversation with a smooth dad joke

I was visiting with some family members over Christmas and our conversation was drifting off. They said something to me and I said "well..."

Dad pops in and says. "Well? Now THAT'S a deep subject."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrMasterBlaster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2013
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Pulled a classic roadtrip dad joke on my GF

While on a 6.5hr drive back home from a friend's wedding, I slowly allowed the car to drift onto the rumble strips for a second, BRRrrrRRRAPPPP, then announced to my GF "Oh gross! Was that you!? It smells awful!" After she realized what had happened, I received a glorious groan, and just when I thought it couldn't get any better she then told me "You know, it's like you're some dorky dad driving a mini-van." It is by far the greatest compliment one of my dad jokes have ever received.

I couldn't help but laugh, as I first learned this joke from my dad, who, on long road trips would do the same and accuse my mother of farting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SicilSlovak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
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Fred Flintstone was driving to work one day...

...and accidentally hit a curb going around a corner. Since then, any time he loosens his grip on the steering wheel, his car drifts to the right. Knowing he needed to have it serviced anyway, Fred goes to the local dealership to figure out what's going on. At the service desk, Fred talks to the manager about how his steering wheel is acting funny.

Service manager: "Oh, that's pretty common. You just need an alignment."

Puzzled, Fred asks, "What's wrong with it that an alignment can fix?"

Ushering Fred over to his car, the service manager answers, "It's pretty obvious, actually. If you look right there, your front driver-side wheel has too much toe."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faerco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
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If you drift a Tesla..

Is it called an electric slide?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What do you call it when you drift a Tesla

An electric slide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im2KoolAid4u
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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In my twenties, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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When I was in college, I used to live in a houseboat and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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When I was in college, I used to live on a houseboat and started dating the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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I lived in a houseboat for a while, and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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In my twenties, I used to live in a houseboat and started dating the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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