I make Christmas wreaths for a living. So I decided I would make one out of 100 dollar bills the other day.

I call it a wreath of Franklin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZealousidealRise7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I was working in our store when my son called me over and said, β€œTwo guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.” I asked. β€œWhat did they look like?” He replied...

β€œFifty dollar bills.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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My son was washing some dollar bills the other day

He said it was money laundering

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondmemebond
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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what music band always needs change for 100 dollar bills?

breaking benjamin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrongnaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry..

i became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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What do you call a belt made out of hundred dollar bills?

A waist of money.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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I once caught a fish with a hundred dollar bill in its mouth.

I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide I’m sure you’ll sea the porpoise isn’t me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that I’m hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and I’ll gladly clam up. I’d hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Minnow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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What was the dollar bill’s biggest fear?

Change.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techformer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills

But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.

In that sense, he was on the money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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What must a president do to get their face on a dollar bill?

Something noteworthy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditorsass9802
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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A man asked me for a dollar. I said I only carried big bills.

He asked me to give him one, so I gave him my electric bill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/criosovereign
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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My friend is a know it all who likes to be right always. So he has dollar bills embedded in his shoes.

He has to be on the money.

A better joke may be doable. It's left as an exercise for the reader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Has anyone here lost a bundle of twenty dollar bills?

Because we found the rubber band

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πŸ‘€︎ u/novaerbenn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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I saw a guy with a belt made of dollar bills.

I told him it looked like a waist of money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KiwiCandle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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Did you hear about the new belts they're making out of dollar bills?

Sounds like a waist of money to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Petruccijon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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I accidentally microwaved a few one dollar bills.

Now there really are some hot singles in my area.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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Son: dad, can I have some change to get a tattoo of a dollar bill on my face?

Dad: that doesn’t break a dollar for me

Son: wait what?

Dad: it doesn’t make any cents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kstan007
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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What do you call a dollar bill that has been farted on?

Gas money

(credit to my previous co-worker) :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowFireDan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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I landed a job at a company that prints oversized novelty dollar bills

I'm making big money there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bdkosher
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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(original joke) So I left a 20 dollar bill in my pants and they went through the wash...

So now I’m wanted for money laundering

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lumber__Zach
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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A dollar bill goes up to a Euro note

and starts making self-depreciating jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puns4life
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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I sent my parents a picture of me shaming my dog for eating a 5 dollar bill

My dad said she had expensive taste

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yimjames
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
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I fell asleep with my phone under the pillow last night and when I woke up, it was gone and there was a dollar bill in its place...

Must have been the Bluetooth fairy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
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What do you call a burning one dollar bill?

A hot single in your area!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peachoftree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2016
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What do you call a dollar bill that could hear?

A cashier

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kardight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
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What do you call shoes covered in dollar bills?

Cashews!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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What did the dollar bill say to his son? sheldoncomics.com/archive…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/laowai_c
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2013
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I bought a belt made of hundred dollar bills

It was a waist of money

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitlers-wet-dream
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2015
🚨︎ report
George Washington predicted that one day, a dollar bill will bear his likeness.

In that regard, he was on the money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report

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