I make Christmas wreaths for a living. So I decided I would make one out of 100 dollar bills the other day.
I call it a wreath of Franklin.
I was working in our store when my son called me over and said, “Two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.” I asked. “What did they look like?” He replied...
My son was washing some dollar bills the other day
He said it was money laundering
what music band always needs change for 100 dollar bills?
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry..
i became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
What do you call a belt made out of hundred dollar bills?
I once caught a fish with a hundred dollar bill in its mouth.
I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide I’m sure you’ll sea the porpoise isn’t me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that I’m hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and I’ll gladly clam up. I’d hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.
What was the dollar bill’s biggest fear?
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.
George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.
In that sense, he was on the money.
What must a president do to get their face on a dollar bill?
A man asked me for a dollar. I said I only carried big bills.
He asked me to give him one, so I gave him my electric bill.
My friend is a know it all who likes to be right always. So he has dollar bills embedded in his shoes.
He has to be on the money.
A better joke may be doable. It's left as an exercise for the reader.
Has anyone here lost a bundle of twenty dollar bills?
Because we found the rubber band
I saw a guy with a belt made of dollar bills.
I told him it looked like a waist of money.
Did you hear about the new belts they're making out of dollar bills?
Sounds like a waist of money to me.
I accidentally microwaved a few one dollar bills.
Now there really are some hot singles in my area.
Son: dad, can I have some change to get a tattoo of a dollar bill on my face?
Dad: that doesn’t break a dollar for me
Son: wait what?
Dad: it doesn’t make any cents
What do you call a dollar bill that has been farted on?
Gas money
(credit to my previous co-worker) :)
I landed a job at a company that prints oversized novelty dollar bills
I'm making big money there
(original joke) So I left a 20 dollar bill in my pants and they went through the wash...
So now I’m wanted for money laundering
A dollar bill goes up to a Euro note
and starts making self-depreciating jokes
I sent my parents a picture of me shaming my dog for eating a 5 dollar bill
My dad said she had expensive taste
I fell asleep with my phone under the pillow last night and when I woke up, it was gone and there was a dollar bill in its place...
Must have been the Bluetooth fairy!
What do you call a burning one dollar bill?
A hot single in your area!
What do you call a dollar bill that could hear?
What do you call shoes covered in dollar bills?
I bought a belt made of hundred dollar bills
George Washington predicted that one day, a dollar bill will bear his likeness.
In that regard, he was on the money.
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