People are just dying to get in
I wonder how many people are in that field.
My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review." I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."
Apparently, that's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
Because there were so many mummies.
Nine.
I hope you scrolled past that.
He disappeared without a tres.
To beat the crowd.
They are lined up for blocks.
Surprising since most Aussies like to boo meringue.
and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.
People were lined up for blocks
A mathemachicken
They really need a hair traffic controller.
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. I said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' she answered, “They're watch dogs'!
The crowds always chanting ‘back one again for the lemonade master’
He's a FaceBookie.
I think I have TPSD.
It isn’t hard...
MonTANa
To beat the crowd.
Apparently, that's unacceptable in bowling.
Cons-pick-uous
Enraged, he raises the pistol into the air and shouts, "which one of you bastards had sex with my wife?!"
The bar falls silent. After what seems like an eternity, a man in the back replies:
"You don't have enough bullets!"
"Tough crowd."
Someone shouted “All hail the king”
... so they can beat the crowds!
Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)
They feared he may have bitten off more than he could chew
Person 1: What is your opinion on that one classic pulling the bunny out of the hat trick?
Person 2: I think raises some hare-raising questions.
P1: How so?
P2: It just begs the question of how it affects the rabbits themselves. After all, the magicians were pulling them out without a carrot the world.
P1: You raise at interesting point.
P2: We all know it's because of the secret compartment, you know? And, to minimize the suspiciousness of the hat, the compartment is as small as possible?
P1: Yes
P2: It must be very uncomfurtable to be in that space, and then be grabbed by the ears and raised high in front of a crowd. Like, don't get me wrong, I love magic tricks, but I wand to specify that i honestly feel that this trick in particular is quite inhumane.
If you ever end up having to entertain kids around kindergarten age (5 or 6 years old) here are some jokes you can use.
Write the letter Y on a board or piece of paper. Ask, "Can you tell me what this letter is?" and they'll say "Y", to which you respond, "Because I want to know how smart you are."
After a bit of back and forth you can look exasperated that they don't get it (when of course it is you who don't get it), then say, "Okay here's an easy one, can you tell me what this word is?" Write down the word NO and of course the kids will say "NO" and you can say, "You don't know what this word is?" or "You know what it is but you won't tell me?" Kids usually think it's hilarious that an adult can be this dense.
For kids who can spell words, you can use ones like "duck" and then when they say it you can duck as if something is coming at you.
.... they were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
People must be dying to get in
People must be dying to get in!
To beat the crowd
I wonder how many people are in that field.
