Seems people are just dyin to get into it.
Yeah. It was wrong on so many levels.
People are just dying to get in
It isn’t hard...
Enraged, he raises the pistol into the air and shouts, "which one of you bastards had sex with my wife?!"
The bar falls silent. After what seems like an eternity, a man in the back replies:
"You don't have enough bullets!"
My doctor says I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
Because there’s never any parking
Might need a turtle to wipe the floors!
“Sighs doesn’t matter, guys!”
It was a shellfish move.
Why does ice cream taste like milk? Because it is milk
Whenever we're in a crowded restaurant and the hostess tells us the wait time, my dad asks "If I was the president would you have a table for me right now?" The hostess says "Yes, of course." Cue my dad "I'll take his table."
so I put all my socks into an old poster tube. Now all I have are tube socks!
An orphanage.
Folks are lined up for blocks!
I said, “No, I think most kids smell that way.”
'cause they always be screamin' : "ALLRIGHT EVERYBODY CLAM DOWN !!!"
I wonder how many people are in that field.
My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review." I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."
Apparently, that's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
There was no body, arms or legs to him but he was functioning normal and his parents loved him. On his 21st birthday his dad took him to a bar, bought him a beer and gave it to him to drink. Suddenly his torso grew out of his head. Around him amazed the bar started chanting “Drink, Drink!” His dad got a second beer and gave it to him, this time he grew arms and hands. The stunned crowd all chanted again “Drink, Drink” He got his third beer and drank it himself with his new hands, suddenly legs and feet grew. The crowd applauded and cheered. The son couldn’t believe it and started to run. He ran around in circles and then out of the bar. Unfortunately he ran into the road, got hit by a truck and was killed instantly. The barman looked at his dad, sighed and said “He should have quit while he was a head”
Because there were so many mummies.
What the Hellman?
I hope you scrolled past that.
He disappeared without a tres.
Nine.
A mathemachicken
Surprising since most Aussies like to boo meringue.
That rabbit, found Himalayan on the road
and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.
The crowd was so impressed, they gave me a standing of asian
The performer saw the men arrive and that the crowd was large so he stood on his cart and yelled "can you see me now!?" to which the men replied Oui! Si! Ja!
So there was a man and woman at a bar. The man says "I bet you 5 bucks this magic water will make me fly!" the woman clearly didn't believe him so she accepted the bet. Sure enough the man jumps off the roof and flies for a bit until he gently goes back to the ground. The girl was amazed! She said "You should market this stuff." "You could make millions!" Still in shock she asks for a drink. She takes a swig and a small crowd forms because this girl is about to jump off of a building. She jumps off and falls onto the pavement. The guy is laughing his head off. Suddenly someone shouts from the crowd "You're a mean drunk superman!"
They really need a hair traffic controller.
To beat the crowd
I think I have TPSD.
He's a FaceBookie.
Crowded elevator smells different to midget.
MonTANa
People must be dying to get in!
People must be dying to get in
They are lined up for blocks.
People were lined up for blocks
