I guess they successfully cured cancer.
An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail."
A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.
Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor: "This is Gasoline!"
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.
Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!"
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back.
Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak."
Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note.
Doctor: "But this is $500..."
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."
It was for a good gauze.
She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, “where do I drop it off?”
She says, “Go in the front door and there’s a little desk that you -“
“Don’t you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?”
... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!
....only has 1 knocker.
Come here often?
I got a standing ovulation.
....but she enjoys the craic.
for mustard gas exposure, would you ever catch up to previous health levels?
Food for thought
because it's 20/20."
Unlike the grocery store, the clinic isn't adopting the "curbside pee-cup" system.
Thank you for your cervix!
I'm gonna call it Half Off For Half Off
They said, “Maybe you should check your junk.”
They said “No, you need toupee”.
That shit was expensive.
Which I thought was a little rash.
From Dad Joke of the day on facebook.
Turns out it was a good place for a break.
Doctor says: " I can clearly see you're nuts."
"I've been trying to reach you since the last three weeks but you wouldn't pick up the call," I said.
"I'm having some serious symptoms and I needed this appointment as soon as possible," I continued.
"Alright, alright," the doctor interfered. "Just be patient."
I'm gonna call it "GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST"!
A Coughy Filter!
Everybody there is sick.
A corneacopia.
He feels better now
Everybody looked funny.
They were Unplanned Parenthood.
Wife is sick, so we went to the walk-in clinic in town. While in the waiting room, I took the 7 month old to go look at their giant fish tank where I sadly found one laying flat on the bottom not moving. So I went to the front desk to give them a heads up. I said
"Hey I don't know if you guys know but you have a fish over laying on the bottom not moving."
The lady said oh no that's not good, we should call the maintenance guy.
I said "Yeah I don't know if you guys have a swim-up clinic or not, but I'd get him checked in ASAP."
Groans all around!
Her boss, the head doctor, wasn't in a good mood this morning so I say:
Me: "Hopefully she doesn't get under your skin too much."
Her: "Oh that was awful. Really got me skin deep there."
Me: "Yeah I was a little rash with that word choice, but I'm not even sorry. Hopefully atopic better than this will arise."
Her: "groans over text"
As the tech was anesthetizing the cat, the vet said, "Let's get this potty started!"
My mum sprained her ankle and my dad drove her to the nearby walk-in clinic.
Upon entering, with my mum hobbling along on her uninjured foot alongside him, he said to the receptionist "Walk-in? What about the hop-in?"
She looked at him with confusion.
Waste of excellent humour.
I was looking to turn myself around
