I called an old college classmate and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...Upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes, with hot water, under his wife’s supervision.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"

The teacher said it had to be specific

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Bor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Some of my classmates after the football match between Barcelona and Bayern Munich
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrnGediTYa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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One of my students told me that all of his classmates are turning into Batman because of Covid

They are all either wearing a mask or their parents are dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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I promised my classmate I’d stay totally still whilst he did his maths homework against my back.

β€œGood” he said, β€œbecause I’m counting on you”.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KikkoAndMoonman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Growing up I went to an all-Muslim school. The teacher asked me to make sure that my classmates weren't sneaking bacon at lunch.

I got a badge and a sash that read, "Halal Monitor"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unklethan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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Not a dad, but got my classmates and teacher with a good dad joke

So, before i get to the joke, you should all know that everyone in my class knows me for my shitty dad jokes and they hate me for it and today was probably the proudest moment of my life. So here's what happened.

Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird?

Me: willow ptarmigan (pronounced willow tarmigan. you see where this is going)

15 seconds later

Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom.

Confused classroom: what? Why?

Me: because the P is silent...

I hear the class slowly fill with groans and "oh my god"s followed by some guilty chuckles. And then, my teacher, who is about as strict and as hard to make laugh as they get, slowly sinks into her table and covers her face. And then she giggles. Just a little. This goes right up there for proudest moment of my life, next to saving a child from a burning building. Except I've never saved a child from a burning building...

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/miqdadmatethatsme
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
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When my classmate, Abhi, couldn’t remember what the unit of measurement of frequency was, he started thinking really hard.

My science teacher then said β€œAbhi, it looks like your head really hertz!”

This actually happened 2 minutes ago

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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My son and a female classmate of his conducted an experiment involving boiling different elements in hot water. They each stood on one side of the experiment.

Seems like there's some chemistry happening between them.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImNotABean
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Did you know Karl Marx was teased by his classmates in school?

Thy teased him because he couldn’t capitalize.

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kshiau
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
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When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me

I Skipped pasta grade

Ok I’ll leave

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmy-Retard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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My classmates in medical school said he found the cure for obesity.

He won't tell me what it is, but he insists it's as easy as taking candy from a baby.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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One day in class we were talking about prom and I asked my classmates, β€œWhat’s the worst joke you can ask about prom?”

And then I said, β€œthe punchline”. The whole class booed. I think I might succeed as a dad one day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arroxblast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Ate lunch with my 5 year old at his school and couldn't help but dadjoke his classmates.

Me: Oh, what happened to your two front teeth?

Girl: Oh, I lost them!

Me: Well I hope you find them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LupeCannonball
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
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One of my students poured coffee on one of his classmates.

I told him that's grounds for suspension.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bomemeianrhapsody
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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Me and my organic lab partner are good friends. Our classmate asked if there was something going on between us...

I said no, we just have good chemistry. She doesn't talk to me anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghouch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
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One of my classmates dadjoked a whole lecture hall today

We are in medical pharmacology right now and are starting a series of lectures on chemotherapies. My professor begins the lecture by saying "Who's ready to learn about cancer drugs?!"

This guy gets on the mic, and says, "I'm more of a Libra drug kind of guy."

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkaega
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2015
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Classmate got me...

We were in lecture hall when his textbook fell off the table, bounced around on his lap for a while, then fell on the floor.

Me: "Dude, your book just ran away from you."

Him: "Yeah, it really booked it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sugarfreelemonade
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2014
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Got my teacher and classmate today

Before class started I overheard my teacher and peer discussing hard copy textbooks vs. online textbooks:

Classmate: > I don't know, I can't really put my finger on it, I just prefer having a hard copy

Me: > Actually, you can put your finger on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWavingSnail
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
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A classmate of mine went to Paris...

http://imgur.com/fi5eO8m

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kevlar_socks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2016
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My classmates are just hard to please

Since you guys enjoyed my dad moment in math class I thought I'd share my chemistry moment too.

So we are discussing atmospheric pressure and my teacher thought it be a good example to ask us to stand up to example how we can overcome the pressure. So everyone is standing and I remain sitting,

Teacher: so what's stoping you from standing up?

Me: Peer pressure

Followed by rejected high fives

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irulehard2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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Dad joked my classmate in physics.

Her: Ugh, I feel like this quiz is going to cover a lot of material...

Me: Really? I thought the only material it would cover is whatever this desk is made of!

Her: ...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zomgz0mbie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
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Got my classmate

In a science class I'm currently taking, we were doing a lab involving hydrochloric acid. The bottles we had were producing some gas that looked like steam coming out of the bottle (I'm sure one of y'all know what that is). So when my classmate asked the teacher why the hydrochloric acid was smoking, I turned and said, "because he's been hanging out with the wrong crowd".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cfginn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2015
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Got my classmate

Sitting in a lecture I was playing with a piece of paper, crushing to a vague bowl shape, which I subsequently placed on my knee so that it looked kind of like a little hat. My friend leans over and picks it up, but then puts it back, saying, "It fits perfectly."

So I lean back and whisper in his ear,

"That's because it's a knee cap."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davrockist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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Dad-joked my classmate

My classmate and I were doing the old rocket-pen trick (You know the one, where you click in the pen and release it and watch it soar into the air.) However, my classmate was having some difficult grasping the intricacies of it.

Classmate: "I just can't seem to get it to lift-off!"

Me: "It appears you have ejectile dysfunction."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitharris
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
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Got my new classmate today.

Just went to this new class and started conversing with random people, then this girl says that her dad is in Turkey.

Girl: "Yeah, he's a lawyer and travels a lot"

Other classmate: "Oh that's cool, does he ever bring you anything from the places he visits?"

Girl: "Yeah he normally does."

Me: "Let me guess, I bet this time he'll bring you Turkey!"

To which some classmates rolled their eyes and she smiled and said she was a vegetarian, but it was a funny joke. I think I made a great first impression.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremiah1119
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
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Got one of my classmates.

Classmate "Oh, I wanna be the Sun!"

Me "You can't because you're already a daughter!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/laker610
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2015
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Teacher got my classmate today who could not find the laptop charger.

In class and my friend could not find the correct laptop charger. My Teacher then said:

Friend: I can't find the right charger!

Teacher: Have you tried looking for the left one?

Everyone:...

All 19 people were silent, I was dying from laughter.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baller73
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2014
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Classmate Just Dadjoked Me

We're sitting in Ecology and the professor says, "Okay we're going to move on to plants now."

Classmate turns to me, "You hate botany?"

Me: Yeah

Him: Me too. Guess we should veg out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jwkaoc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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Apparently, my classmates are a conglomerate of dads

"what does a little bird inside a Computer do?"

"microchip"

"that is a hat, keep that in your head"

"what do they tell you when you live a seed bank?"

"thank you for coming"

"I never wanted to be a trucker, it never in-tir-ested me"

"Do you know why watches leave a mark on you wrist?"

"becouse the time is tight"

"life is like Battleship, today you ate, tomorrow C6"

Really, each joke is from a different classmate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Makator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2015
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My classmate wanted to say something about irate...

He asked about it then said they should put it on the apple app store.

iRate....

God damnit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaGnomeMagician
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2014
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