I was looking into my neighbor's yard when my brain started channeling Rick Springfield.
Jessie is a friend,
Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
It ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a grill and I want to make it mine

And he's grilling chicken thighs,
And he's smokin' racks of ribs, I just know it!
And he's holding pool parties late, late at night...

You know I wish that I had Jessie's grill...
I wish that I had Jessie's grill...

Where can I find a burger like that?
πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Channeling The Beatles

So my wife and eldest daughter are in the dining room and I’m in the kitchen. They are talking about parking a car at school, and getting the ticket that allows this from the office. I step into the room:

Me: β€œYou guys are talking about a ticket to park?”

Kid: β€œYeah”

Me: β€œBut I thought Paul McCartney said it was a ticket to ride...”

Wife: β€œShut up dear”

I look at the kid and point to my wife:

β€œShe don’t care.....”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trazom28
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
On the way to work, I saw the Channel 13 news truck getting towed.

I guess they really wanted that breaking news.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Who do ghosts like to haunt bars?

Free boos.

πŸ‘︎ 350
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nemesis0884
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
[Warning 18+]
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Echopulse07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My cousin is obsessed with Belle Delphine (long)

I’m worried about my cousin. He’s 28 with a good job. Has a lot in common with me (nerdy habits: board games, gaming conventions, anime etc). Unfortunately I have recently learned that he is one of those poor souls obsessed with Belle Delphine. Apparently it started out innocently enough. My cousin is into cosplay. He’s into girls. Ooh, there’s cosplay girls on the internet? What began as a YouTube channel subscription and a few dozen likes on Instagram has progressed into something much more serious. This man is spending money. My cousin’s social media accounts have recently featured pictures of him with his Belle Delphine merch. T-shirts, body pillows, there’s even some kind of bed spread/comforter with her googly-eyed tongue-outy face on it. Did you know that Belle Delphine briefly partnered with Tom’s shoes for a limited edition series of footwear? I knew that, because my cousin won’t shut up about how he bought them all. He’s got at least three jars of dirty bath water and a gaming keyboard with her face on it. It’s really sad. I think the isolation of the pandemic really exacerbated his behavior. He says that he and Belle are destined to be together. For my part, I’m telling him that this isn’t healthy behavior, and I’m encouraging him to seek counseling. I’m convinced he has a mental health issue like Obsessive Love Disorder or Erotomania. Afterall, he does have all of the Simp Toms.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My programmer husband insists he has to be the one to change the channel

He has a lot experience working remote

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Showtime has far too many commercials on their channel.

It’s just Shameless plug after Shameless plug.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Balbright
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Just finished reading a book on Channel swimming.

It was written by Francis Near.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.

It’s a real game changer

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/struggling-here
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What noises do you make when you hear a good pun? youtu.be/zI_ySoMhF84
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChallengeBandits
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A people person v.redd.it/o2zqb3o9nht61
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTriweeklyShow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
They actually made a KFC movie on the Hallmark channel

It’s suppose to be a romance but don’t be surprised if there’s some Fowl play.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loonmaster2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was changing through channels on TV. She asked me if I skip, too.

I said, β€œNo, running is faster.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tippedframe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...

High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
πŸš€ β€πŸŒ•Cybertruck Prototype πŸŒ• β€πŸš€

β€πŸš€πŸŒ• ‍ELON TWEET HYPE, BUT WITH LEGIT LONG TERM DEVS . πŸŒ• β€πŸš€
Strap in and get ready to launch.

This was created by a professional dev team of HOGL And BUFFTOWN (Developers of HOGL and Shield) They are dedicating their spare time to launch this as a meme project that will explode. Get in. We’re going to run this long term for listings on both CMC and Gecko.
Cybertruck Prototype has an ambitious core team of experienced Crypto veterans, all working day and night ( I mean this, we actually forced one to stay up well past his bed time while in the voice channel. ) to make sure we get to the moon fast, and safe.

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 4.6MM 24Hour Volume⭐️⭐️ ⭐️
⭐️ Market Cap as of typing this 2.3MM⭐️

INCOMING CATALYSTS:

CMC LISTING: Coming soon.

COINGECKO LISTING: Coming Soon

SNL TONIGHT and the CyberTruckPrototype itself being the star of the show in NYC.

This is NOT a P&D. Liquidity is LOCKED, and ownership RENOUNCED.

CONTRACT RENOUNCED:
bscscan /address/0xf340e33aef552c836b4538ba09bbfccd5f42fa17#readContract

⭐️ Contract:

bscscan /token/0xf340E33aef552C836b4538BA09bBfCcd5f42fa17

⭐️ CHART:

poocoin /tokens/0xf340e33aef552c836b4538ba09bbfccd5f42fa17

⭐️ Website
Cybertruck . financial

⭐️ Telegram

t me /CyberTruckPrototypeOfficial

⭐️ Twitter

twitter /officialcybert

⭐️ Reddit
r /CyberTruckPrototype

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lynseahoss
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?

ESBieN

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HelpfulNewspaper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
If Smellevision existed, what channel would you smell wrestling?

Triple HBO

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmaffeo3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...

But I can Samurais

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
From the yt channel dad how do I

Singing in the shower is all fun until soap gets in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bikesh-baniya
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The ESPN Network should have a channel for drama and theatre

Thespian Network

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PacMook_Bro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a YouTube channel where I talked about famous painters, but YouTube took it down

I've been de-Monet-tized.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDobble
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My college friend got accepted to a social group by having to float out in the bay to mark a channel for their boats....

He was a frat buoy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Haven't been able to find the channel changer in a few days

It must be in a remote location

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreamsD351GN
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The weatherman for our local TV channel broke both his arms and his legs in a car accident.

He is calling in from the hospital with his four casts.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Channel Shark News

I wrote a little skit for my grandkids let's see how much I remember. CHUM 8 news Ted Hammerhead reporting with sky Chompter traffic report. Top story, a lone shark, who is a loan shark is alone in the dark making loans to sharks! There is a new place to gamble, the place is full of sharks who turn out to be card sharks playing card games with sharks on the cards. Imagune the dogs playing poker for this story, but it's sharks. The other reporter asks Ted Hammerhead how he did on his recent drivers test, Ted responds "nailed it". Crime scene where a clown has been killed and the Detective states, " No way a shark did this as they taste funny". On a comment about the victim. I never did the weather or figured out names for the other reporters we used to laugh and laugh at my stupid puns.

Edit: I can't spell fixed typos

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phroedrick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Channel 19 isn't working on my Tivo!

My worst fears confirmed. I have Novid-19!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I really don't like my kids watching Little Einsteins on the Disney channel.

There's too much sax and violins.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
So someone commented on my yt channel...
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crapool
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The actor that played Luke on the Disney channel original TV show β€œJessie” died the day after Friday

So Saturday’s really are for the Boyce

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohmy_cod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If an ocean forms a channel through a body of land, and no one's around to hear it...

Does it make a sound?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jerpeggy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...

It’s an untapped market.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellaMajestic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I just found an origami porn channel

but it's paper view.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/For_Sigmar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What YouTube channel does Momo have?

WatchMomo

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Babyblu4321
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Thinking of starting a make-up channel

Joining the beautubers.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jige1337
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm selling a TV for $1, but it's broken and it's stuck on the highest volume.

That's a deal you can't turn down.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
This just happened like 2 minutes ago and my dad is creased at himself

My mam saw a channel on the telly called the Deja Vu channel so she asked my dad what it was.

He replied with β€˜I’m not sure but I swear I’ve seen it before’

He’s now pissing himself laughing and mam doesn’t get it

πŸ‘︎ 156
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Watching The Discovery Channel, I learned which garden organism has the dirtiest job...

The Mike Rowe organism.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
News channels when Boris Johnson visits the Queen of the United Kingdom...

Queen receives BJ

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I dont really like computer tech channels

They tend to be BIOSed

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Human_Rayla
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a show that consists only of people peeing.

You can see it on a number of streaming channels.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report

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