The police say they burn all the weed they confiscate.
That would explain the doughnuts.
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.
I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.
Why did the hipster burn his lips on coffee?
He drank it before it was cool!
(My old Language Arts teacher said this.)
My son told me, “Dad, I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, and now it burns.”
I said, “That’s Heinz sight for you.”
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool
Churn and burn
At least that’s what the witch Puritans used to say.
I just found out how to burn 2000 calories
I left my brownies in the oven too long
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
I just gave a sick burn to a load of hedges shaped into a pattern.
My mate Gav sadly passed away this morning. Doctors say it was severe heart burn.
What would Mr. Burns say if he were a wizard?
I hate people who keep telling me that I need to be saved or else I'm going to burn.
I just published a book on how to prevent skin injuries and minor burns.
[NSFWish] Did you hear about the new eyelid replacement surgery for burn victims?
They use foreskin to replace them. Only side-effect is coming out a little cockeyed.
What do you call someone who burns all their loan documents?
Doctor: Sir you’ve suffered multiple 3rd degree burns
Dad: that’s odd, it felt hotter than that.
I tried to burn my friend a new arsehole by slipping chili peppers into his food, but things didn't go as planned when he switched dishes on me.
Why did the IT-guy burn his fingers?
My mate Gavin passed away from heart burn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
What Happens When You Burn Unseasoned Wood From the Bayou?
Don't you hate those people who come to your door and tell you that you will 'burn' unless you are 'saved'
During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles.
Who the hell runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate pizza before it was cool
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
Because he ate the pizza before it was cool 😎
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He ate his breakfast before it was cool.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn"
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Who did the hipster burn his mouth
He ate the pizza before it was cool
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello
How did the hipster burn their tongue?
Ate their meal before it was cool.
How did the hipster burn himself?
By drinking coffee before it was cool.
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn"..
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool
I hate when people knock on my door and tell me I need to get "saved" or else I will "burn."
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get "saved" or you'll "burn"...
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