Did you know if you and your buddy fart at the same time it makes you Egyptian?
Because you have a Tutankhamun.
Note:I thought of this today I really hope the joke lands.
Joke I made to my gamer buddy.
Friend: -Sighs-
Me: -AGGRESSIVELY LOUD SIIIIIIIIIIIGH-
Friend: "The heck was that?"
Me: "I heard you were sighin', so I thought I'd join you and go super sighin.
(Dragonball Z joke with Saiyans)
Background to this joke: Took me years to get the perfect setup for this joke. Needed a bunch of friends present for maximum groans/laughs, needed to remember to do it, and needed friend to sigh and follow up to my ridiculous-ness. It was one of my most satisfying jokes I've told.
My buddy was showing me around his tool shed when he pointed at something and said, "That's my stepladder."
"I never got to know my real ladder."
My buddy came up to me, asking to try out his new custard recipe...
and asked if I'd like to try it.
"Sure I would!" I replied, and enthusiastically took a bite.
Well he was immediately horrified when he looked at my reaction and asked me "Oh my gosh, is it that horrible?"
"No," I answered. "It's just a little off pudding."
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
God: *creates a worm* hello little buddy!
Worm: Thanks for the "worm" welcome haha...
God: * creates birds *.
Credit goes to my buddy Quinten who made this.
Why are DJs bad fishing buddies?
Because they keep dropping the bass.
If you and your buddies should all get COVID vaccines and the doses need to be kept in freezers...
then you're cracking open a cold Bud-Pfizer!
My buddy said he's been living on tins of baked beans all month.
That can't be good for his back.
My buddy was promoted to quality inspector for the Canada Goose Jacket Company. He doesn't like it very much though...
...lately, he's been feeling down.
I have a buddy who is a prominent geologist, but outside of work, he's very lazy and inactive.
He lives a sedimentary lifestyle
My buddy used his stimulus check to buy some baby chickens
He got his money for nothin’ and his chicks for free
My buddy and I used to be Marijuana dealers and we always split our profits evenly between us.
My buddy keeps asking me to blow cool air on him when he gets hot, and I don’t like it.
My buddy used to paint these beautiful beach scapes when he lived on the coast, but since he’s moved away, he won’t paint any more.
I guess he’s now an ex-cape-artist...
My buddy says beer makes you smarter....
But I dont think itll make my budweiser
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just can't part with it.
My buddy likes to jog in place on the rug in his hall.
One of my buddies asked me if I could find out what the largest organ in the human body was.
So I googled and told him exactly what I found.
Basically a skin for a friend.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
By buddies and I were drinking beer and cracking jokes, but things started to get out of hand.
It was quite the brew-haha.
My buddy got to the Nissan dealership just in time to buy his truck during a sales event.
It was the Final Frontier
My buddy asked if I would go on a man-date
Of course, that's mandatory
My buddy Ian is a strong proponent of state surveillance of citizens. I disagree and think it's a bad idea, so I said...
My buddy Neil decided to get into a new kind of business designing keyholes for small houses
So we gave him the nickname shack keyhole Neil
What did the tree say to his buddy, who was about to get in a fight?
My buddy Earl has never been late to work, school, or any appointment. Want to know his secret?
My buddy Miles went on a Europe trip after his graduation.
He loved the culture so much he changed his name to Kilometres.
In college, we had a buddy who always gave us suggestions as to what booze or drugs to try.
He was the original trip advisor.
My buddy said 'There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me.'
I asked, 'Which is?'
'Exactly', he replied.
My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......
I asked my hiker buddy about where his last adventure was, but he couldn't answer me.
My buddy Jerry had to get taken to the hospital, unfortunately it looked like he needed to be operated on. He was unconscious and when he came to, he asked “what’s going to happen, am I going to be alright?”
I was gonna tell a story about my buddies jogging club,
But it's just a running joke among friends
At his wedding, my buddy called me the worst best man he has ever seen.
My buddy Juan and I went to China, and he won a scratcher lotto.
Why is Jesus a great gym buddy?
A buddy of mine likes taking pictures of salmon in clothes
He says he likes shooting fish in apparel
My buddy once asked me what it's like to work as a high rise window washer...
I said it has its ups and downs.
What did the drunk say to his buddies as he left the bar?
AL-CO-HOL you later!!
(Stole this from a show dont come for me)
A buddy asked me how many fish I caught
I told him it's not polite to fish and tell
My buddy invited me to go fishing with him.
But when he told me the fish were biting I said, “heck no!”
My buddy was rushed into the hospital after showing decorticate posturing. He woke up and I asked him if he remembered anything.
He said it felt really apalling
My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.
(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)
My buddy David has his ID stolen
My buddy said he made a voodoo doll of me
I think he’s pulling my leg
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