He knew he'd be pun-ished for his choice. http://explosm.net/comics/3853/
πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LtDansBedPan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Studies can be pun as well
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamees007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Do dad jokes have to be puns? This is what I made for mother's day. One for my wife and one for my mom

https://imgur.com/a/kFtji

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_am_spoons
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
🚨︎ report
If there's such a thing as dadjoke photography, I think my dad would be champion.

They might not be puns, but I still feel like he fits right in.

I don't see him much, but the pictures he shares keep me rolling my eyes and stifling a smile pretty regularly.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SexualCannibalism
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2016
🚨︎ report
She seems to be having a field day out there.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fedamasavasol
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
If my son ever came out to be trans then I wouldn’t have a son anymore

I would have a daughter

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captbeauner
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.

And then you will all be sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
It takes guts to be an organ donor

For real tho. Donate your organs. It saved my dads life 😁

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katyparody
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Too dangerous to be left alive
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anukrit_Subedi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.

I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
It can also be called mobile crisis units
πŸ‘︎ 245
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cttonbrze
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What would be bananas without 'b'?

Pineapple (ananas)

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/velkyptak
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
It would be shocking if this isn't a repost but I could not resist
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Gotta be safe!
πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aimaan-Zakaria
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Hades decided if he was going bald, there would be hell toupee.
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Your nose will never be 12 inches long

Because then it would be a foot.

πŸ‘︎ 653
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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremely_4getful
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I’d be lying if I said I got a hair cut

I got them all cut

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twasafunny
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...

wooden tit?

πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaaaasowenyaaa
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
May the 5th be with you...wait, Uhm.
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plush_Banebarker
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend thought I'd be lonely after she broke up with me,

Little did she know that I immediately bought stocks just to have some company.

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hridaygandhi
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snidawgg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
That would be a shame
πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I want you to be "Br" but without the bro.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whoshlok
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Eye drops should be called blinker fluid
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobrtm
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter.

But I'm on a roll now.

πŸ‘︎ 335
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
While watching Harry Potter once, I said to my Dad β€œI wonder what the Hogwarts version of a dirty magazine would be” as Harry was rooting through his chest of things.

Without skipping a beat he said β€œWhorelocks.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed as colour blind.

It really came out of the purple.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad always told me that I could be any person I want. But the FBI disagreed with this.

Apparently identity theft is a crime.

πŸ‘︎ 269
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ll be honest, I don’t trust the stairs in my house.

They’re up to something...

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold

It’s called Elon’s Musk

πŸ‘︎ 225
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSolo1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
How can a room full of married people be empty?

Because there's not a single person there

Ps. I wasn't invited either

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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Why can't some Christians be vegan?

They can't seem to stomach seitan.

Might be an old one that someone else's said but it made me chuckle.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorgiBacklash
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Be careful what you ask for
πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Would a movie about the invention of the Tampon be a... period piece?
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aistan83
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A genie appeared and granted me one wish: I said I wanted to be happy.

Now I live in a cottage with 6 other dwarfs and I work in a mine.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Sure elevators can be uplifting

But sometimes they just get me down πŸ˜”

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DapperDavidYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pancake that just can’t be beat?

In-blintz-able.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

I’m clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mdpfive
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I did not expect this to be the replacement IronMan
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Had a yen to be creative this weekend...

so I crafted a large numeral in the back garden. I chopped, sawed, planed, sanded, and painted that number till it looked amazing. My neighbour looked over the fence and enviously stated β€œNice one!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnolife
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
50 cent is boutta be a dollar
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DocIshMan
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
If FedEx and UPS merged, the employees would be

FedUp

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up.

The little shit wants me to be gunned down in an alley.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Will you β€œcheese” be mine? ❀️
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CharmingSorbet1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches?

Cuz then it would be a foot

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/makecents91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap...

but I'm clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-jFk-
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report

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