One long ass pun
There was this scientist that discovered a way to keep porpoises alive forever. Problem was that he had to feed them baby sea gulls Well the sea gull was a protect species so he had to be careful. Well one night he was bringing some back to the lab. It was very dark and he ran over a lion that was sleeping in the middle of the road A cop sees all this and you know what he arrested him for ? Carrying underaged gurls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises
This is not original. I read it in a book of puns 40 years ago. I do not know which one I would like to give it credit but it was 40 years ago
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︎ Aug 12 2019
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︎ Aug 10 2017
What do they call eating ass in Hawaii?
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︎ Apr 01 2021
Get your ass to Kansas.
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Tae Kwon Donkey (The Ass that kicks back) And Crab Maga (The Krav Maga crab that doesnβt just talk crab, he backs it up). Figured this community of punsters would appreciate the universe we are creating on Patreon.
reddit.com/gallery/lgzbtq
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︎ Feb 10 2021
What do you call an ox with a huge ass ?
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Why don't people who eat ass make good taste testers?
Their tongues have been TAINTed!
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︎ Feb 06 2021
I tried to rearrange my Tired Ass.
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︎ Feb 12 2021
Look at this lion ass
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Is it just me or does Wisconsin always smell like ass?
I assume its because of all the dairy air.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
When the doctors told me I have cancer I laughed my ass off
they said I have a great sense of tumour
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︎ Nov 23 2020
get your ass kicked
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︎ Jan 25 2020
What do you call a croissant with no ass?
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︎ Nov 14 2020
What do you call a weird person with an ass fetish?
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︎ Sep 07 2020
If somebody slaps Dwayne Johnsonβs ass
Theyβre hitting rock bottom...
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︎ Sep 02 2020
My wife just told me she wanted her ass 8.
I told her that was just ass 9.
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︎ Aug 09 2020
I was trying to tell some ass jokes...
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︎ Sep 07 2020
I once ate two pieces of string and an hour later they came out my ass tied together
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︎ Oct 02 2020
My friend Shirley was obsessedwith adverb grammar but would never get off her ass.
We called her Slowly Butt Shirley
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︎ Aug 12 2020
I donβt wash my ass
Because I donβt let shit bother me
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Did you hear about the guy without any ass?
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︎ Jul 24 2020
What do you call a Batman who just returned from a fight and got his ass kicked?
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︎ May 18 2020
Looks like someone's working his ass off
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︎ May 17 2019
What do you call a smart-ass optometrist?
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︎ Aug 06 2020
My friend looked at me and said, βThatβs a nice-ass shirt you are wearing!β
I said, βThanks, but I think we call them pants, not an ass shirt.β
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︎ Feb 12 2019
Hare-ass-ment for y'all.
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︎ Feb 05 2020
I named my hard drive "dat ass"
So once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'.
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Yesterday I slapped Dwayne Johnson's ass.
I've officially hit rock bottom.
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︎ Aug 22 2019
My favorite toilet paper was discontinued. Nobody prepared me for how much of a pain in the ass it is to find a new favorite.
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︎ Jan 28 2020
Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground?
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︎ Feb 17 2020
Ass in the hole
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︎ Dec 20 2019
What do you call a smart-ass prisoner falling down the stairs ?
A condescending con descending.
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︎ Apr 20 2020
If he donβt love you anymore, just walk your slime ass out the door...
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︎ Jan 10 2020
People usually say, βletβs blow this popsicle stand,β when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, βstick up their ass.β
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︎ Mar 23 2020
I've made a real ass of myself
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︎ Feb 09 2020
10% of women think their ass is too skinny....20% of women think their ass is too fat...
...60% of say they donβt care, they love him, he is a good man. And they wouldnβt trade him for the world.
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︎ Nov 23 2019
Dat ass do
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︎ Jul 17 2019
I was going to recommend these chips but they taste like ass.
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︎ Nov 19 2019
An evil proctologist would be a pain in the ass.
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︎ Dec 25 2019
The Chinese Coronavirus is really starting to kick peopleβs ass worldwide.
Should call it, Kung Flu.
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︎ Jan 26 2020
These people buying up all the toilet paper can shove it up their ass.
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︎ Mar 13 2020
I tried these S brand mints, they tasted like ass.
But that's just my ass-ess-ment.
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︎ Dec 09 2019
A baguette in the butt would be a pain in the ass.
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︎ Sep 05 2017
I slapped Dwayne Johnsonβs ass.
I then realized I had hit the rock bottom.
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︎ Aug 06 2018
Anyone who slaps Dwayne Johnson's ass
Has really hit rock bottom.
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︎ Jul 23 2018
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