Me: What should we do about the sleeping arrangements during our holiday? Her: I was thinking of...
Romantic flour arrangement
We recently hired a magician at the cemetery based on his response to how he could help combat the rising costs of burial arrangements.
Halloween party sleeping arrangements
The previous weekend my college age daughter told me she had slept in her car after a party.
This weekend:
Me (dad): so did you sleep in your car again?
College age daughter: No, we were a lot more comfortable than that. We slept indoors.
Me: Seems like a door would be a lot less comfortable than a car!
Dads take on chorale arrangements
We are sitting at the dinner table after church. My sister says, "man, the choir director had me singing low today. I know I was singing lower than the tenors."
My dad without missing a beat, "Hmm. You must have been singing a niner."
I think I choked on my food from that one.
I told my wife I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”
I just got thrown out of my local park for arranging the squirrels by height.
They didn’t like my critter sizing.
When I play battleship I like to arrange my ships in the shape of states...
During an autopsy, why are the heart, kidneys, liver and lungs arranged alphabetically?
POV you're a vet trying to arrange a date with a patient
Vet: "are you picking up what I'm putting down"
My Caribbean mate never seems too bothered when we arrange to meet up;
I think he might be from the 'K Man' islands
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture...
But when I got home, the tables were turned...
I was thrown out of the local park for arranging the squirrels by height...
Apparently they just can’t take a little critter-sizing!
A large gathering of priests and nuns arranged themselves to form an image of Christ visible from space...
But it wasn't for altruism of course, they all stood to make an enormous prophet.
How can you attract a wealthy, suburban dog lover?
My mother has a beautifully arranged shell-f at her home.
Dating in Greece
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
circles
An ant named seg is trying to reach its anthill
A girl tries to irritate it by putting a glass over it.
secant she how tangent is getting.
i guess it will diameter before it reaches its anthill.
it would be pretty sad for its family though, as segment a lot to them.
We could just say, it couldn't escape it's circle of life.
well, after his untimely death, his family has arranged a funeral for him and chordiallly invited all its relatives.
I met a Dutch guy with inflatable shoes the other day and arranged to have dinner with him
Unfortunately he popped his clogs
Poirot arranged the murder suspects in a row in an old Roman town.
It was a Hercule line em up.
I’ve spent the afternoon re-arranging the furniture in Dracula’s house.
I was doing a bit of Fang-Shui.
How do chemists arrange elements?
I tried arranging a date with a girl at the gym
I arranged to have dinner with a cannibal, I was late.
He gave me the cold shoulder.
What do you call wooden planks arranged in a circle?
There was a man that wasn't allowed to fart.
Since he started dating, his girlfriend would chastise him to great lengths everytime he felt the need to fart.
After they got married, the situation was maintained. He couldn't possibly fart near his wife. Sometimes he had to leave the house, just to pass some gas.
When he was really old, he died peacefully during in his sleep while lying on his back. She called the undertaker, so the arrangements for the funeral could be made.
When the undertaker rolled the man of the bed, there was a massive fart. The undertaker looked to the now widow to see how she was going to react, but she simply said:
"No need to chastise him anymore. Hee can RIP in Peace!"
I made an appointment with my dealer for some pot brownies
It was an edible arrangement
I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.....
They didn’t like me critter sizing.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year it was bought.
It's an extremely rare dish order.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It’s an extremely rare dish order.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It’s an extremely rare dish order.
I told my wife I was going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order. She said "Where would you find the time ?"
I said, "Easy, right next to the sage"
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It’s an extremely rare dish order.
I thought I won an argument with my wife on how to arrange the dining room furniture
But when I got home the tables were turned.
I told my wife, “I’m going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.”
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “That should be easy. Next to the sage.”
I told my wife that I’m going to arrange all the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, “Where would you find the time?”
I said, “Easy. Right next to the sage.”
I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height.
They didn't like me critter sizing.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It’s an extremely rare dish order.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture.
But when I got home, the tables were turned .
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the date they were bought.
It’s an extremely rare dish order.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought...
It’s an extremely rare dish order...
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates in the order of the year they were bought.
It’s an extremely rare dish order.
I told my wife that I'm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on. She asked, "Where will you find the time?"
I said, "Easy, right next to the sage"
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
