I was hoping some anti-lockdown subs would appear in Popular...
... but they've all been quarantined.
Standing at the park today wondering why does a frisbee appears larger the closer it gets..
And then it hit me!
I didn't see that one coming
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
You know, it seems like every time I kill a gnat, another one appears.
So, I guess you could say they're appearing at the drop of a gnat.
What page does this appear on?
Every time I get turned on a dvd appears in my underwear
Turns out I have erectile disc function
Energizer has to appear before court
They were convicted for a case of battery
What kind of birds only appear on Friday the 13th?
I opened a book and counted the average value of how many times the letters A to M appear in each page of the book. After getting the results, I threw them away.
They are only means to an N.
I appear to be incatpacitated.
I knew it was a mistake to take my friend who failed to appear in court out on my leaky sailboat.
As soon as it started leaking, he skipped bail.
A woman appears in court, accused of attacking her husband with guitars..
The judge asks, “First offender?”
“No,” she replies, “First, a Gibson. Second, a Fender.”
A bell gets hired to make a film, in which part does it appear?
Breaking News: A turtleneck seller is to appear in court for selling his turtlenecks to the public, and just killing so many turtles. And sweater or not he wins, he was really a bad salesman.
I've invented a game where avocados appear randomly and you have to smash as many as possible within the time limit
I'm calling it Guac-a-Mole
How did the magician make a candy bar appear out of thin air?
He had a lot of Twix up his sleeve
It appears that I have an on-again, off-again relationship with clothing
Doing a Yoda workout is much more difficult than it appears.
Talking backwards is easy, but finding a Jedi that will carry you through a swamp is damn near impossible.
I’ve always wondered why frisbees appear bigger as they get closer...
Doctor: It appears that your DNA is backward.
I dislike most 70’s female solo artists because they appear vain.
They are a bunch of pre Madonnas.
What food goes best with an arcade game in which you hit toy moles, which appear at random, back into their holes?
My magician friend’s signature trick is to make cute kittens appear out of thin air.
His stage name is The Wizard of Awwws.
God appears before Moses and tells him he's going to lead His people into the promise land...
Moses says, "NO WAY!" But God said, "YAHWEH!"
What do you call a sore that appears in different places on your skin?
[Meta] When I post a joke in here, how do I format the punchline so it doesn't appear until you click it?
Basically, how do I avoid spoiling the joke? Do I have to put some kind of page break before I type the answer?
Archeologists in Egypt have uncovered the tomb of a mummy that appears to be covered in chocolate and hazelnuts
It's beleived to be the long lost Pharoah Rocher.
It appears we have been replaced. (x/post r/ofcoursethatsathing)
pungenerator.org
How do berries appear?
They come out of the blue.
Ba dum tiss.
To the tiny organisms upon which the blue whale feeds, the whale appears to be a stone cold kriller.
Talking to my brother at dinner, when a wild dad appears!
Brother: If Chelsea had to play versus Man. City in a playoff, I'd buy a ticket instead of saving for a car (soccer teams)
Me: Those tickets would be like.. £70 a piece
Dad: Man, that's a heavy ticket
So as I'm getting a drink from the fridge while enjoying a football game with my family, a wild Dad Joke appears...
football commentator says something about a player's NFL debut being today just before I get crushed ice from the in-door ice maker from the fridge
Dad: "Wait I missed that, WHOSE debut is it today? What was his name again? I couldn't hear!"
Me, loudly: "Hang on!" points to fridge "Ice maker."
Dad: "WOW his name is Ice Maker?! No wonder he's so tough!"
Now, my dad doesn't often do this so I kinda started at him before slowly saying, "No.....his....it's not...." Then he grinned at me as I felt dumb.
The best Dad Joke ever appears in the 'Follow That Taxi' AskReddit thread...
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2k4l1v/taxi_drivers_of_reddit_have_you_ever_had_to/clhzwbw?context=1
A wild dad appears...
Visiting family in Wisconsin, my mom mentioned taking a trip to DeForest.
I asked, "what's in DeForest?"
In walked dad. Gleefully, "DeTrees!" without skipping a beat.
I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?
How did the magician make a candy bar appear out of thin air?
He had twix up his sleeve
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