54 Puns

Because it’s 6to9.

I'd hate to be that guy.

“Sure,” he said. “60.”

http://mashable.com/2014/01/18/54-dad-jokes/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link

The doctor told me: "Your patella measures 2.54 cm." By surprise, I said: "Inch high knees?" The doctor replied: "你的髕骨尺寸為2.54厘米"

....If you give them 2.54 centimeters, they'll take 1.60934 kilometers.

Child: how? Dad: I'll tell you later

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So we were at a certain popular buffet chain, and when my dad 54-year-old with a long white beard went up to pay, the Spanish cashier asked if he was eligible for the senior discount, for ages 65+.

He strokes his beard and says "Nope, I'm not quite there yet.

I was standing behind him waiting to go eat, and I said "Well maybe you should try talking Spanish? Then you will be a señor!"

She gave us the discount, everybody around us cracked up laughing, applause was had, and the Albert Einstein behind us gave me $100. (Seriously though, they both laughed, she gave us the $0.59 discount, and Dad tells this story every chance he gets.)

"What's the time, Dad?"

Dad looks at his digital watch:

"It's 19:54. So we've got a good 60 years before we need to be at the quiz!"

Dad: Do we get the student discount? Harkins-Girl: Well, it's a matinee so it's the same price Dad: 'Cause we're from the school of hard knocks

To give you a better picture of my dad, he's 54 and owns his own accounting practice/ is his sole employee. To others he comes across as shy, but I know better. The alone time with the numbers helps his "Dadness" ferment until it bubbles (like this experience) or otherwise explodes.

I instantly face palmed. My dad was still laughing at himself 20 minutes after we got out of the movie.

Wife sent me these (she can't believe she's condoning this behavior):

What does the subatomic duck say? Quark Quark

Two photons arrive at the airport and they are asked if they have any luggage to check. "No thanks, we're traveling light"

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