A man called 911 after his 76 year old mother wandered out of the family home during the night. When asked what she had been wearing and if she had any personally identifying features about her, he advised she was barefoot, half naked and had a visible scar from her hysterectomy.

The dispatcher replied, β€œSo... no shirt, no shoes, no cervix?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GhostsoftheDeepState
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Been playing Fallout 76

Pretty rad so far

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bananacarz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My 76 year old grandpa

Mary had a little lamb, and the gynocologist was very surprised. I laughed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrsDisco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2013
🚨︎ report
Studies have shown that

the people who rely on statistics are wrong 76.5% of the time ...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/afarro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What goes up the chimney down, but can’t go down the chimney up?

An umbrella.

From my 76 year old father-in-law... classic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in the drive through with my dad in the passenger's seat next to me

The total came out to $20.76 so I get 21 dollars and a penny ready. Just before I pay, my dad looks over to me and says that I should get something that every good football team needs.
The cashier hands me a quarter back.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HowToCantaloupe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.