In my career as a lumberjack, I cut down exactly 82,546 trees. /r/Jokes/comments/ey3uo3/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmh4321
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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My friends tried to convince me I was a chemical element with the atomic number 82....

...Thankfully, I'm not so easily lead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marmeladovsemyon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82...

...I'm easily lead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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Told my wife that Gene Cernan, the last man on the moon, died yesterday at the age of 82...

She responds, "Why the heck did they leave him up there for so long!?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PivotalPixel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
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The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=82&v=xlIrI80og8c

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ce1ska
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
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Sir I found a match!

http://pandyland.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/2013-03-26-dna-sample.png

Source: http://pandyland.net/82/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/namaloom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
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Dad just dropped this one without even cracking a smile.

Brother: (Telling a story about how a kid threw his poop at his work (he works with kids with psychological disorders)) ...And so that's why there's that poo-stain.

Dad: I think I saw them in concert once, must have been '82.

Me (playing along): How were they?

Dad: They were really crappy...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maphillips
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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I'm fairly certain my grandpa is planning on dropping a dad joke on his AA group for his 37th anniversary...

He told us last night that he'll be asked his secret for success this morning.

He says at age 82 and after 37 alcohol-free years, the secret is fairly simple:

"Don't drink, and don't die."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gingysnap
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
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According to lead researchers...

Lead is a heavy metal with an atomic number of 82.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/msoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
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