I like to meet my girlfriend at 12:59
It's important to get that one-to-one time.
What Happens If You Are Sitting on the Toilet at 11:59 and the Clock Strikes Midnight?
Same shit, different day.
If you hit someone on 11:59:59 pm on a Sunday....
Does that mean you hit them into next week?
Nothing’s better than being 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, or 97 years old
Those are the years you’re in your prime
"Doctor please help, I've got 59 seconds to live!"
Doctor: " I'll be with you in a minute"
What company owns the rights to Super Bowl 59?
Make sure at 11:59 tonight you lift your left leg
That way you can start the new year on the right foot!
You know what I did after 7:59?
Why is 12:59 the best time to talk to someone?
I will be sitting in the toilet at new years eve 11:59 pm...
I'll be like same shit different year
Dad always told me to take my dumps at 11:59 pm.
So when the clock strikes midnight it’ll be the same shit different day
There’s a small difference between 59 seconds and 119 seconds.
Yea, there’s a minute difference.
I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 p.m. and noticed the clock turn to midnight.
I thought, “Same shit. Different day.”
I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 and the clock struck midnight...
I like to meet my girlfriend at 12.59...
I like that one to one time
At 11:59:59, don't forget to get your left foot off the ground.
That way you can start the new year on the right foot.
Last night, I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 p.m. and the clock struck midnight.
I thought, “Same shit, different day.”
If you are sitting on the toilet pooping starting at 11:59 and the clock strikes midnight...
It's the same crap, different day.
Lift your left leg up for 30 seconds when it's 11:59:45 tonight.
That way you will start 2019 off on the right foot.
Lift your left leg up for over a minute when it's 11:59:30 tonight
That way you start 2018 off on the right foot!
At 11:59:59, don't forget to stand-up and lift your left foot off the ground.
That way you start the new year off on the right foot!
I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 pm and the clock struck midnight. I thought 'Same shit, different day.'
I like meeting people at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time
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