My girlfriend is a square root of -100

Perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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My kid asked me if it's true that some species of Whale can grow up to 100 feet?

I said it's when they're really tired after swimming too long, they can use them to walk home instead.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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*Steak puns 100*
πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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What do you call a wreath made with $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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πŸ’― 100 πŸ’―
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2DogKnight
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Today I donated my watch, phone and 100 euros to a poor guy

You don't know the happiness I felt as he put his knife back in his pocket

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankee-485
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call 100s of pounds of bread?

Crou tons

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedFish12094
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"

"A person always wins!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....

.....the mammothematician.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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Over 100 years ago 2 brothers announced that they could fly.

Turns out, they were Wright.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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I know over 100 languages

I just can't speak them

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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THIS JUST IN: A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $100,000 in large bills.

No change is expected

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/junerlegion
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the hospital say to the man with 100% of his left side missing?

The doctor says β€œHe’s alright” The nurse follows β€œThere’s nothing left!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-t-k
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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I was walking with about 100 cows from one ranch to another and I had to pass through a vineyard so

I herded through the grapevine

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thkoog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
100 years ago everyone owned a horse but only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

The stables have turned!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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My stressed out Mexican friend is moving to a place where one can live a life of ease on 100 centavos a day...

He needs a change of peso.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.

It seems like just yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
From my 3yo: what do you call a 100-year-old ant?

Antique

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call 100 penguins in Trafalgar Square?

Lost

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blaringtaser
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!

See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsozso01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
100% effective method to not go to jail
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPapaPump6969
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was part of a class and i total , we were 100 students. I walked up to the front of the class , and wrote :"balloons" on the white board. So...

The other 99 read balloons.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bloodoolf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a belt made of $100 bills?

A waist of money.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I make Christmas wreaths for a living. So I decided I would make one out of 100 dollar bills the other day.

I call it a wreath of Franklin.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZealousidealRise7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Tennis ball machine for sale. Only $100.

Had it over a year now. Has served me well.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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I just got a letter from a herb and spice company demanding the $100 I owe them.

If I don't pay them within a week, they have threatened to send the bay leafs around.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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My hammer has 100% nail hitting accuracy

because if I miss the nail, I hit my nail

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolf_cy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Expensive fruit. (iaio #100)
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get 100 rowdy Canadians out of the pool?

You ask them.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What lies on its back 100 ft in the air?

A centipede

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I did my personal best in the 100 metres today...

85 metres.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Illusion 100
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What has a 100 balls and screws old women

Bingo

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/socdist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
This restaurant I went to opened to 100% capacity the other day.

People are dying to get in.

And I am getting sick of it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Did you know that alligators have a lifespan of up to about 100 years?

It means they’ll have a better chance to see you later.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Willrj93
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I need like 100 puns!

At my high school there's an annoying dude who hates puns so if you have any really bad ones I need you to comment...

I'm gonna send him to PUNintentiary!

I won't stop till he PUNches me!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/South_Bathroom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 607
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imnotarobot12764
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Christmas decoration made out off $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leobloom23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wreath of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklin(s).

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beardth_Degree
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Christmas wreath made of $100 bills?

A wreath of Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?

A wreath of Franklins

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmar4234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Christmas decoration made of $100 bills that can play R&B hits?

Aretha Franklins.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a belt made out of $100 bills

A waist of money!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmhenrich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.

A perfect 10 but purely imaginary.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BamaPaul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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