Tell a man there are three hundred billion stars in the universe, and he believes you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he has to touch it to be sure.
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︎ Feb 12 2021
When I was in florida I saw signs saying "animal sanctuary 5$." so I decided to follow them but when I got there it was just a middle aged couple with hundreds of house cats and one dog in a cage.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What can you jump over thatβs a hundred feet in the air?
π︎ 20
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︎ Oct 18 2020
A report just came out exposing how the government's mishandling of an explosive object could've caused the deaths of hundreds of civilians
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 02 2020
My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 27 2020
A square ran into a dead end while running away from hundred of circles
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 15 2020
The communists have been talking about their revolution for over a hundred years now...
Iβm starting to think theyβre Stalin
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 24 2020
I once ate a hundred chips in one sitting
Thatβs how I got banned from the casino
π︎ 17
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︎ Aug 04 2020
What do you call a belt made out of hundred dollar bills?
π︎ 93
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︎ Apr 01 2020
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry..
i became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 02 2020
I once caught a fish with a hundred dollar bill in its mouth.
I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide Iβm sure youβll sea the porpoise isnβt me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that Iβm hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and Iβll gladly clam up. Iβd hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 20 2020
A man purposely crashed two passenger trains, killing hundreds. Why didnβt he get the electric chair?
Turns out he was a really bad conductor.
π︎ 13
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︎ May 28 2020
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...
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︎ Apr 22 2020
I canβt believe itβs been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.
It feels like only yesterday.
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︎ Jan 27 2019
My sister bet me a hundred dollars i couldn't build a car out of spaghetti
You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
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︎ Dec 24 2018
Where do you go if you want to stop a water flow by wedging in hundreds of small furry animals?
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 03 2020
What do you call a hundred centipedes?
π︎ 79
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︎ Jun 16 2019
TIL: A few hundred years ago, the boomerang was Australiaβs chief export.
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︎ Jun 12 2018
Have you ever tried glueing a hundred beef rib-eyes to every window of your house?
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 28 2019
While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground...
While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground. Ecstatic, he took the money and walked into a nearby store, thinking he would treat himself. Inside, he purchased a large chocolate cake and started walking home. Suddenly, a crazy old man popped out of an alley next to him and ran straight past him! As he went by, he dropped a mechanical eyeball straight into the middle of the cake. Dazed, the man stopped and stared at the eyeball when it suddenly started to belt out a tune!
Well, obviously the best part of this story was the finding of the 100 dollars - everything else is just eye sing on the cake.
π︎ 9
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︎ May 30 2019
I dared a guy to fill up his piggy bank with one penny every year for one hundred years.
He said he wouldnβt do it.
Cause it would take a cent-ury.
π︎ 48
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︎ Feb 02 2019
I spent a few hundred bucks at an exposition last weekend.
I can't remember exactly how much but it was a fair amount.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 12 2019
Four hundred years ago, the pagan minority in Salem learned a valuable lesson about dealing with religious fanaticism
Be careful what you witch for
π︎ 13
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︎ Jul 09 2018
World of Warcraft introduced a scavenger hunt to find a secret item that involved hundreds if not thousands of people in a Discord spending days and days scouring the entire world for little clues.
The secret reward is called Waist of Time.
Well played, Blizzard, well played.
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 26 2018
What's a hundred dollars' favorite band.
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 08 2019
I tried to beat my own previous time for the hundred meters on a Pogo stick.
I had hopped for a better time.
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 04 2018
Whatβs in the middle and has a hundred legs?
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 07 2018
What do you call a hundred rabbits in a row running backwards?
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 09 2018
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 11 2017
I heard of an offer at my local chip shop where they give you one chip, a drop of vinegar and five hundred pounds cash for free, no questions asked...
I thought "I'll take that with a grain of salt."
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 17 2017
When I told my dad about the "TIL you can count from zero to nine hundred ninety-nine without ever having to use the letter "a" post
"What about the a in "eigh"t."
π︎ 48
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︎ Jun 29 2015
My dad has told this one a hundred times and it still brings him to tears from laughter
So there was a high school dance and at that dance there was a boy with a wooden eye and a girl with a hair lip. The boy walks over to her and asks her if she would like to dance. "Oh would I!", she says. He responds saying, "shut up hair lip!"
π︎ 51
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︎ Dec 01 2013
Break a hundred?
I asked the guy at the store if he could break a hundred dollar bill. He said sure no problem. I then asked if I could have the pieces. Blank look ensued
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 31 2014
I canβt believe itβs been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.
It feels like it was only yesterday.
π︎ 33
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︎ Oct 03 2019
My friend bet me a hundred dollars that I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti.
You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 16 2019
I bought a belt made of hundred dollar bills
π︎ 1k
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︎ Aug 01 2015
I canβt believe itβs been over a hundred years since Einsteinβs Theory of Relativity was published.
It seems like just yesterday.
π︎ 22
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︎ Nov 21 2018
I bet my sister a hundred dollars I could build a car out of spaghetti,
You wouldn't believe her face when I drove pasta!
π︎ 16
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︎ Aug 26 2017
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