Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.
That way, I always make a grand entrance.
Did you hear about the bouncy castle with a size of 10,000 Sq ft area?
The entry is quite expensive, mostly due to inflation.
More than 1 000 pieces of music by Johann Sebastian Bach have been preserved,
along with nearly 900 by Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, nearly 400 by Johann Christian Bach, more than 300 by Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach, and nearly 200 by Wilhelm Friedemann Bach.
Together with as many as 200 more surviving compositions by other members of the Bach dynasty, scholars estimate that about 3 000 works are preserved in total, a collection that we today know as the Baroque Bach mountain.
THIS JUST IN: A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $100,000 in large bills.
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
My creative writing teacher told me to submit a creative 2,000 word essay.
So, I gave her 2 pictures.
This is a one in a 1,000,000 joke
What happens when you listen to a Death song 1,000 times?
It becomes a Megadeth song
I tried to figure out how far 20,000 leagues under the sea actually is.
My friends keep trying to convince me to let a 2,000 elephant sit on me.
Did you hear about the cow that could produce 1,000 gallons of milk every day?
My wife burned 8,000 calories
She left the brownies in the oven too long
A guy once paid 10,000 Bitcoin for a pizza when it was still cheap...
That pizza shop must be swimming in dough.
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.
I donated almost 50.000$ to a charity for mute children
They didn’t even say “Thank you”
What do you call 2,000 mockingbirds?
Did you hear about the neighbors floor made out of 10,000 pennies?
Looks like a hundred bucks!
On the news: “nearly 29,000 women have their breast implants removed every year”
Me, to my wife: “that’s stupid. I would think most women only need to have them removed once!”
Don't bother reading that "ultimate" workout blog. "You won't believe" their advice is just to walk 1,000 meters a day.
I burned an impressive 2,000 calories today.
That’s the last time I fall asleep with brownies in the oven.
I saw $50,000 mysteriously put into my bank account
I want no trouble, so I decided to leave it where I found it
If I had $1,000,000, I’d donate a quarter of it to charity.
Then I’d have $999,999.75.
As soon as you find someone who has 10,000 bees, marry him or her.
That’s how you know he or she is a keeper.
Judge: I order you to pay $10,000.
Mario: Why?
Judge: It's a fine.
Mario: No, itsa not.
Apple releases a $1,000 monitor stand
So the travel agency said I could climb Mt. Everest and it would only cost $100,000.
I said no thanks, that's a bit too steep.
Someone recently told me being $30,000 dollars in credit card debt was a bad thing.
If it is such a bad thing, why does my bank say "outstanding balance" below it?
My wife was really pissed when I told her I spent $1,000 on a new wallet......
I told her not to worry I’ll definitely get my money out of it.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
The pilot says that we're 30,000 feet in the air. I disagree.
There's no way there's 15,000 people on board.
[On an aeroplane] Pilot: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are 30,000 feet in the air.
Me, to my wife: Holy cow! There’s no way this plane has 15,000 people!
Did you hear about the cow competition worth 1,000,000 dollars?
The higher up you can get your cow the higher the score you get.
The steaks are rising.
I had $1,000 extra in my pay last month, this month I was $1,000 short. When I reported it to payroll they asked me why I didn't say anything when I got paid too much.
I told them, I'll tolerate one mistake but not two.
Did you hear about the Indian that drank 10,000 cups of tea?
He almost drowned in his T-Pee
A Nigerian man was found dead last night and authorities found $ 50 000 000 in his apartment...
...apparently he had been trying to give it away for almost 20 years, but nobody would return his emails.
me: wanna hear a joke about $1,000
For over 30,000 years humans gave each other social "likes" by sharing beads made from ostrich eggs.
I guess you might call them emu-jis.
My French friend borrowed 1,000 gallons of water from me...
Tried to count to 1,000 in my car yesterday, but only got to 500 before I wrecked
A Jim Beam warehouse caught fire, destroying 40,000 barrels of bourbon. Warehouse workers were reported to be in "low spirits."
Seriously though, terrible loss.
1,000,000
^
That's a one in a million.
I ordered 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup.
Just burned 2,000 calories in 2 hours
That’s the last time I leave my brownies in the oven while I’m at work
I burned 2,000 calories yesterday.
Left the brownies in the oven too long.
A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $250,000 in large bills
I burned 2,000 calories last night
Left the brownies in the oven for too long...
Pilot : Ladies and Gentlemen, we are 30,000 feet in the air
Me to my wife : Holy Cow ! There's no way this plane has 15,000 !
As soon as you find out someone has 10,000 bees, marry them.
That’s when you know that they’ll be a keeper.
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