Why don’t they watch tv in Afghanistan
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
I went to a wedding yesterday where two tv antennas got married
The wedding was horrible but the reception was great
My dog has learned out to use the TV remote...
All she does is paws and unpaws.
What's a psychic's favorite TV network?
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
I couldn't resist the sexy TV remote
It was an instant turn on
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
My grandpa got a tv as a Christmas gift in 1948
It was a low New Years resolution
What's a monkey's favourite TV show?
Thomas the Orangu-Tank Engine!
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...
But I’ve seen Stranger Things
If someone yawns on tv and yawning is contagious, that person has a chance of being a superspreader and causing a short yawndemic 🐸
Which TV show pair has the best chemistry?
Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.
Sherlock Holmes never buys a TV Guide at Christmas.
Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
What TV-character is the most impatient when browsing the web?
The Refresh Prince of Bel Air.
Hope this hasn't been posted before
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
(*in a late night TV voice*)
Have you been wearing glasses during the pandemic?!? Have you been wearing your mask?!? You may be entitled to condensation.
Do you know why I can identify with TV Guide?
I used to feel important but now i just have very poor circulation
Local TV weatherman breaks all of his limbs but insists on coming in to work...
...tune in at 11, to see his four-casts.
My wife was changing through channels on TV. She asked me if I skip, too.
I said, “No, running is faster.”
I saw my wife slightly drunk yelling at the TV saying “don’t go in there you idiot”
She was watching our wedding video again.
My first gig out of school was directing a TV ad for tampons.
A TV pitchman was getting too fat ...
... butt weight there's more !
I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
Walmart’s onn brand of tv wall mounts.
I have a tv here I’m selling, going cheap as the volume buttons don’t work
My mom told me not to watch anything on the tv
So I watched next to the tv
Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you.
Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years!
My wife watches a fitness tv show from Barbados
It's the Pilates of the Caribbean
Shows about food are no longer available on cable tv.
You can only get them on dish.
My dog likes stepping on my tv remote
Somehow he'll only ever paws it.
I’m selling a 55” TV for JUST $1, only problem is the volume button is broken...
... I mean, how can you turn that one down!
You can now watch the World Origami Championship on tv since all these other sports are being cancelled.
I'm selling a TV for $1, but it's broken and it's stuck on the highest volume.
That's a deal you can't turn down.
What do you call a ghost that haunts the set of a day-time tv talk show?
The Phantom of the Oprah.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself on a 4K TV?
My girlfriend is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV
'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!' She was watching our wedding video again."
I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
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