True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.

My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"

She then left the room, cackling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danieltkessler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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Why couldn't I find the TV remote??

It was in a remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamDHogge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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My dog has learned out to use the TV remote...

All she does is paws and unpaws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NBE01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.

It’s a real game changer

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/struggling-here
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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I couldn't resist the sexy TV remote

It was an instant turn on

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bsISS1243
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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My dog likes stepping on my tv remote

Somehow he'll only ever paws it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mozzatits
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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What’s a cats favourite button on the tv remote?

Paws

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardynolando
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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My family can’t seem to find the tv remote. They’ll never find where I hid it.

It’s in a very remote location.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunkyFaz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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I almost got into a fight with the TV remote the other day...

It was really pressing my buttons...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthony_014
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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I tried to pick up the TV remote with my foot the other day.

My laziness is getting a little out of hand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FIGHTSONG_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Why do tv remotes have buttons?

It would be silly for them to have a zipper.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scubahana
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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If cats and dogs watch tv. Do they press paws in the remote?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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Today I was waiting have a cavity filled at the dentist when the assistant hands me the smart tv remote to put something on while I wait.

So I say β€œNothing like a little Netflix and drill”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reverseinertia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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Dad, where is the TV remote?

Me : I think it's under your homework.

Child : ha ha ha. Very funny.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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It has just been announced that the man who designed the TV remote control has died.

But he went the way he wanted. His family said he went missing for 3 days then they found him down the side of the sofa!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cactuspricks1993
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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My Dad's joke about a new TV remote.

We got a new TV which came with a fancy new TV remote which I don't like.

Me: Do you actually use this new remote?

Dad: Yeah

Me: Do you find it to be better?

Dad: Well it was never ill in the first place

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ITUGI
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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I hate it when I'm watching TV and my dog comes and puts her pause on the remote.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/badfish321
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2015
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Eugene Polley, the inventor of the tv remote died at the age of 96.

He was found at his home in between the couch cushions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fullheadofha1r
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2013
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What’s a dogs favorite button on a TV remote?

Paws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Am_An_Engineer_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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