What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/user7618
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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How do you know a robot is ready for sex?

Its floppy disk becomes a hard drive.

(Credit to a comment u/drerar made)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chappo_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I was worried someone replaced my kid with a clever robot...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nostyleguide
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Where do all the geeky robots like to hang out?

Decepti Con

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LicencetoKrill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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These two robots rock
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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What does a robot do at the end of a one-night stand?

He nuts and bolts!

Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedRocketMan_Y
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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How do robots eat guacamole?

With computer chips.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Herbixx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.

The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:

β€œDon’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Grim-Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Why do robots like pancakes?

Because they are batter-y.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Listening to sonic heroes makes me want to destroy a certain amount of robots

I wanna crush 40 robots.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Why couldn’t the robot get away?

Because he got CAPTCHA’d.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jason0509
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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How do you program genderless robots?

with nonbinary code

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluejaywhey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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What do you call a Turkish robot?

An Auto Man

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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How do you use a remote control to calm down a robot dog?

Press the paws button.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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How do you know when you’re in love with a robot?

You feel a little spark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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A man walks up to a crazy robot and says

"You're nuts!" and bolts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMoonIsLonely
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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A dad brought back lie detector robot..

Dad: son if you lie the robot slaps you.

Son: ok

Dad: did you drink at the party?

Son : no dad i...

Robot slaps son on the face

Dad: did you do drugs?

Son: no i swear..

Robot slaps son on the face

Dad: sigh , why did you turn out like this? Back in the days all i did was studying and...

Robot slaps dad on the face

Mom: haha like father like son

Robot slaps mom on the face

Edit: sorry this is daddies i can go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninokuni13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Why didn't the robot have any brothers?

Because it only had trans-sisters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/picatso
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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What would you call someone who programs female robots ?

Cod-her

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stent_kush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Why did the robot go to the shoe shop?

To get rebooted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderLion99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I’m starting to make a robot that has a really high words per minute.

He’s a pro-to-type.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnchartedQuasar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I bought one of those early 2000s robot dogs but have nowhere to charge it

I need to find a pug socket

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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I asked a Canadian what he thought about robots.

He said, "AI?"

I said, "Yes, you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Why did the robot go on a murderous rampage?

He was made from 100% American copper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greywind721
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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A man buys a lie detector robot

That slaps people who lie, and be decides to try it out on his son during dinner.

β€œWhere were you during school hours?” He asks.

β€œAt school!” His son replies.

The robot slaps the boy.

β€œOk I was at my friends house....” His son says.

β€œWhat were you doing there?

β€œReading comics!”

The robot slaps the son again.

β€œOk ok!! We were watching an erotic movie...”

β€œWhat?? I didn’t even know erotic movies existed when I was your age!” The dad exclaims.

The robot quickly slaps him.

His wife laughs and says, β€œWow, he really IS your son-β€œ

The robot slaps the wife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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I invented a surgical robot

So far it only operates on batteries..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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There is a robot creating art by copying things frΓ₯m star wars. Art o' dito

from*

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jige1337
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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I programed a new application on my robot that simulates anxiety I call it...

The nervous system

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Childhoodcocaine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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If you see transformers flying around, not only do you see robots in disguise, you see...

robots in da skies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaylock77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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I tried to write a code for dancing robots but it didn’t work

I guess it had no algorithm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ife2105
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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My position at work was eliminated and is now being done by a robot.

I guess you could say that I’m jobsolete.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alx924
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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I’ve created a monster. My 6 year old just asked us: Why did the robot cross the road?

Because he was programmed too 🀦🏻

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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If a Norwegian robot scans a bird,

It Scandinavian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alliswellinnz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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How do you beat a robot in a fist fight

Socket in the jaw

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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They once made a maths robot with numerical dyslexia

It didn't add up

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Treesmkknees69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Robot of Thanksgiving yet to come
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobGrob
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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What do you call an angsty teenage robot?

A sigh borg.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vahn1982
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Why did the engineer create a robot fish?

He wanted more e-fish in sea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gecko_echo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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My friend is a robot hunter

He loves to captcha them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fakipo2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the giant Islamic Robot fly to Saudi Arabia?

For a pilgrimage to Mecha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Himnusz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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quick robot chicken scene youtube.com/watch?v=Ywnhl…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KiwiDishie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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How do robots die?

They rust in peace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/42undead2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a robots favorite kind of music?

Heavy Metal

Courtesy of my daughters robot dinosaur toy.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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How do robots eat guacamole?

With microchips!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XDG-Diggz74
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do during a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B7dust11
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do on a one night stand...

He Nuts & Bolts

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LemonTexas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report

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