What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?

A sighborg.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What made Al Gore so robotic?

His Al Gore rhythm

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Westerfield
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a robotic boy that delivers messages?

E-male.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twillo_11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What sound does a robotic frog make?

>!Ribbot Ribbot!<

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Foxblow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My good mate asked me if robotic vacuum cleaners are any good, as she wants to buy one.

I told her; "Don't bother buying one, they suck"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartan17492
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Tonight is a sad night... our robotic vacuum cleaner, Wall-E, killed our bathroom spider, Al Gore.

Why was our bathroom spider named Al Gore? Simple. He created the web.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DamnRedhead
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a robotic toe sitting in the snow?

A Brrr-E-Toe!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paul092834
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My son was blind since birth so I opted to get him robotic eye replacements.

Now he's computer-eyes'd

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I put a can of beer on this machine and a robotic voice said, β€œ12 ounces”.

I thought, β€œWow! This speaks volumes.”

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a robotic dog, that take commands through bluetooth?

Rott-wireless

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snakegear50
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me for help fixing his robotic lizard.

I told him Viagra was a good way to fix e-reptile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Icecreep109
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
People think Al Gore is robotic

But I think that’s just because of his Al Gore rhythm

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the new robotic Jackhammers?

Its some ground-breaking stuff

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pengking36
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
🚨︎ report
I told me dad about an article about tiny robotic bees...

He said that if they took over a building, they'd have to send the SWAT team. It might be a sting operation

The link

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beerbabe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2014
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do after sex?

Nuts and Bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 143
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ssr0203
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a robot’s favourite place to eat?

Mechdonalds

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a robot say when it has to use the restroom?

Peepoop

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymm17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How many brothers do robots have?

None. They only have transistors.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saltyLithium
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Where would the first robot rights case go?

The Short Circuit of Appeals.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Where did the space robot go to get a drink?

The spacebar

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ncarlton43
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the robot who got arrested?

He was charged with battery

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/natteulven
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My robot will be called Epsilon Alpha, E.A for short

Pay $5.99 to see more

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/computer-genius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
A robot from the future decided to avoid eliminating its target for as long as possible

It's a Procrastinator.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Khaos_Gorvin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
R.N.L.I, robot.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"

The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you call a robot that only tells you the truth?

A fax machine

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chillyproductions
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the Dutch robot shoes fail?

No one likes clever clogs!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I was worried someone replaced my kid with a clever robot...
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nostyleguide
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I once made a robot out of east asian cooking vessels.

It woks like a man.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do at the end of a one-night stand?

He nuts and bolts!

Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedRocketMan_Y
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a robots favorite dance?

The Human

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MHoaglund41
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Luke Skywalker had issues after his first duel with Darth Vader

His first robotic appendage was defective from the second hand store.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
These two robots rock
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How do robots eat guacamole?

With computer chips.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Herbixx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
IT puns :-)
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steff404
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do all the geeky robots like to hang out?

Decepti Con

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LicencetoKrill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do robots like pancakes?

Because they are batter-y.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a new-build house!

When I walked in the place was great, everything was perfect apart from the kitchen. There were gas mains but no cooker! Work surfaces and water pipes, but no sink; empty plugs and spaces for where the fridge and freezer should sit.

When I bought the house I was told it was fully furnished! Furious, I called up intending to give whomever answered an earful.

I was told that everything should be arriving individually, and the house is being used as an experiment for completely autonomous, self thinking kitchen appliances!

Before I could reply there was a knock on the door. I opened it and a stove strolled in, tilted forward in a bow, slid past me and set itself into its spot! Even attaching itself to the gas mains!

Later that day another knock at the door signalled the arrival of the fridge and freezer.(who had travelled together) They bowed and sat themselves perfectly in place in my new kitchen. I was beaming!

That evening I was explaining to my wife how the appliances had arrived, when came another knock at the door. β€œThis technology is going to change the world, I swear it!” I told her. β€œCan you answer the door? I’ve been on my feet all day”

β€œYeah,” she replied, less enthusiastic than I,β€œbut it’ll get to a point when humans are completely inferior.” She explained β€œWhen these machines develop such sentience, what’s stopping them from overthrowing us?” β€œTreating us as slaves, like we to them now?” She asked, distraught at theses ideas.

Knock knock

β€œIt’s best not to worry about these things,” I said in an attempt to alleviate her fears.

β€œThere are people- professionals developing contingencies for any possible future robot uprising!” β€œThat future you’re frightened about is purely science fiction right now, and the way our collective knowledge and application of technology has advanced, (Even in the past 50 years!) our own scientists and engineers will be able to crush any worries we may have when the time comes.” I explained.

She sighed, agreeing somewhat reluctantly. β€œDon’t think on it now, have some faith!” I told her.

Knock knock

β€œNow let that sink in!”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/olemonheado
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My robot dog wasn’t working properly but the vet said he couldn’t do anything.

I don’t understand. Don’t people take their pets to the vet to get fixed all the time?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.

The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:

β€œDon’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Grim-Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Listening to sonic heroes makes me want to destroy a certain amount of robots

I wanna crush 40 robots.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the robot get away?

Because he got CAPTCHA’d.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jason0509
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you program genderless robots?

with nonbinary code

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bluejaywhey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Turkish robot?

An Auto Man

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you use a remote control to calm down a robot dog?

Press the paws button.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks up to a crazy robot and says

"You're nuts!" and bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMoonIsLonely
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you know when you’re in love with a robot?

You feel a little spark.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?

A sighborg.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JediMasterSeamus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a deaf man with a robotic arm

Signborg

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OmarGobara
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/user7618
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
How do robots eat guacamole?

With microchips!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XDG-Diggz74
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do during a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B7dust11
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.