Tappan Zee Deutsche?
The police want to capture him, but they have nothing to go on.
Poor guy.
...but I decided to Knicks that idea.
According to their head chef, the steaks have never been this high.
βIβm overhearing over here!β
They have claimed it as their #1 and #2 priorities.
Har-har-harlem
The Atchoo of Liberty.
β¦after being caught redhanded stealing from the kitchen section of Bed Bath and Beyond.
Upon being interrogated he told the police, βIβm sorry! I canβt help it! The thrill of theft just makes me feel alive. I guess Iβm addicted to taking whisks.β
If you do, youβll get a really big shawk.
Every year they drop the ball
β¦now they just need to make a train that can run on thyme!
A gabagool
Putin gets to the customs officer and presents his passport.
Customs agent: And what's the purpose of your visit, Mr. Putin? Business or pleasure?
Putin: Business, of course.
Customs agent: Occupation?
Putin: No, not this time. Just visiting.
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
and I left New York because I couldn't handle my mother.
It was a vicious cycle
Theyβre pretty underground.
It's NYSE.
Well it's hard to compare apples and oranges...
The doctor said it was Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
"I imagine heβll be given a tough sentence!"
His mother put a portion of pasta on my plate, the food looked up at me and shouted βDamn, this is one ugly kid!β
Shocked and confused I looked at my friend.
βSorry buddy, I shouldβve warned youβ he said. βMy mum makes a mean lasagnaβ.
The Moo York Times
Walter, a former conductor of the New York Philharmonic, is only considered second in conducting ability to Water, the current conductor.
Why do we never hear about amazing New York pizza bagels?
Cops are setting up a perimeter around the five burros, as we speak.
Frosty knickers.
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
βWell, itβs a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York Strip dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.β
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
βAh, no thanks. The steaks are too high.β
βββ Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
The news was really hard to swallow.
Around 1910, a French chef did a series of reckless experiments with boiled egg whites and other items, thus accidentally creating a new condiment. He named it after his hometown, and so the new confection became known as mayonnaise.
One of the first fans of the new confection was Mexicoβs ambassador to France, who wrote home about this marvelous new product, and so an enormous demand for mayonnaise developed across Mexico. But the demand could not be met; the chef refused to share the recipe with anyone, and the logistics of keeping the product cold while in transit from France to any part of Mexico proved very difficult.
An especially ambitious entrepreneur named Julio Gomez offered a solution: instead of sailing from France directly to Mexico, through the warm waters where the unrefrigerated mayonnaise would likely spoil, it could be shipped from France to the northern United States, a voyage that would be much colder and therefore preserve the mayonnaise much better. Once unloaded in New York, it would only need a few days to reach Mexico by train, and so Gomez arranged for special refrigerated rail cars to transport it.
The financial and logistical difficulties of this shipping method were daunting, but Gomez was more than equal to the task. He had hoped to begin the shipping in late 1911 to take advantage of the cold weather, but what with one thing and another he was forced to delay until the following spring.
But April in the North Atlantic is still cold enough, and so Gomez went ahead with his plan. He secured his supply of mayonnaise in Paris, and got it to Liverpool in record time. From there he managed to get it into the cargo of a passenger liner that was leaving for New York that very day, and arranged for the rail cars to meet the shipment in New York. Word of this development reached Mexico, where it was received with great joy and anticipation.
Much to Gomezβs misfortune, the ship in question was none other than the Titanic. The importation scheme was a total loss, and no further attempt to import mayonnaise to Mexico was made for decades after.
Due to the rushed and chaotic nature of Gomezβs operation, it took some weeks to confirm that his cargo of mayonnaise had been on the Titanic. Once the news was confirmed, Mexicoβs hopes were crushed and there was a period of low-key national mourning.
The tragic loss of the Titanic shocked and saddened people all over the world. Mass funerals for the dead passengers were held in New York, L
... keep reading on reddit β‘A town so nice that they named it twice
- Bill Nye
They treated him nicely, but he escaped anyway and killed a bunch of their people.
So they Hong Kong.
Unique up on it?
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.
Then someone from Hamburg is a Hamburger
NYPD is setting up a perimeter around all 5 burros
