They gave me a raw deal.
Because it'll blow his cover
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
A School bus.
Tarzipan
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
Kid: Y
Me: Coz I want to know.
Oops, wrong sub.
A Prostitute tweetie
What does the Prostitute Tweetie say?
"Cheap Cheap"
Just heard that about 5 mins ago at the Christmas dinner table... from my dad.
A school bus
Because red blue green
... Re Post-it Notes.
Now nana has a banana and an ananas.
A shark in a bowl of custard.
I was like: is this some kind of yolk?!
A man dressed in rubber boots, orange overalls, yellow hard hat with a light on, blacked up face and a canary on his shoulder walks into a pub. The whole pub goes silent and everyone stares at him for a few seconds then carries on what they were doing. It was only a miner distraction.
I said, “they’re a yellow cartoon family with Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie”
A man would have written: "Itsy-Bitsy, GIANT CRANK, Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini."
Knee on yellow.
He said, “This blue up. Thanks for the gold.”
“They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.”
I’m a taxidermist
...a yellow belly, a red back, lives underground, and eats rocks?
A Three Legged Yellow Bellied Red Back Rock Eater!
... but I probably should skip it, it's mediochre
I think he's ricist
The phone went 'green! green!', so I pinked it up and said, "Yellow?"
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit ➡It came out of the yellow!
Calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon.
Burple
An excavator
Kid: Y.
Dad: Because I want to know.
A school bus.
