My dad went out for cigarettes 8 years ago & finally came back.
He said he was in the desert with his camels.
๐︎ 4
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︎ Jan 08 2021
A German Family consisting of a Mom, Dad, 8-year-old son, and 6-year-old daughter walk into a bar.
The Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."
๐︎ 11
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︎ Nov 14 2020
My 8-year old ran past me and I shouted to her: "Hey, you lost something!"
She stops and ask "What?"
- "Your speed!"
She glares at me and says: "Dad, you lost something!"
- "What?"
- "Your hair!"
Oof.
True story.
๐︎ 297
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︎ Sep 21 2020
My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?
๐︎ 7
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︎ Nov 30 2020
If you were 8 years old when "Red, Red Wine" was released
๐︎ 31
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I just heard on the news, Adele has been sent to prison for 8 years
She was charged for setting fire to Lorraine
๐︎ 4
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︎ Nov 27 2020
My 8 year old son's joke: What do you call an ox with big butt?
Buttocks
Source - from the jokes forum.
๐︎ 6
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︎ Nov 06 2020
When I was 8 years old my best friend died from a velcro accident.
๐︎ 181
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︎ Aug 15 2020
My wife and I recently had a child on accident. We didn't want a child at all as we are rather young and wanted to wait a few years. He was born yesterday at the whopping weight of 8 kilos.
We've made a massive mistake
๐︎ 9
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︎ Jul 25 2020
From my 8 year old, on his path to becoming a great dad: "What did the designers of Darth Vader's costume model it on?"
๐︎ 293
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︎ Jun 10 2020
My 8 year old told me this joke!
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mindโitโs tearable.
๐︎ 13
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︎ Jul 28 2020
I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, "Take Your Kid to Work Day." As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her.
As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"
๐︎ 26k
๐
︎ Aug 04 2019
My 8 year old came up with this one, I still think about it:
Little Booger: Why are trees green?
Me: Uh, I dunno. Why?
LB: For camouflage!
๐︎ 12
๐
︎ Aug 11 2020
My 8 years old invented this one and I am proudly sharing it with you all
Dad, do you know what an olive is?
A sick grape.
๐︎ 3
๐
︎ Aug 04 2020
My 8 year old pulled this on me
Daughter: Dad, are you smart?
Me: Yes.
Daughter: Spell it.
Me: S-M-A-R-T
Daughter: You said youโre smart but you canโt even spell the word โit.โ
She got me good.
โ
Edit: My first front page post! Iโd like to say thanks to all the wonderful people that upvoted this and made awesome comments. And screw you to the weirdos who went out or their way to say mean things. And thanks to my daughter. She is the real MVP in all this.
๐︎ 14k
๐
︎ Mar 27 2019
So my 8 year old dad joked his mum...
My wife: hey (son's name) I need to sweep the floor, can you please bring me the broom?
My son: OK broomer!
๐︎ 16
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︎ Jun 01 2020
Watching Rogue One with my 8 year old on Fatherโs Day
When Vader is force choking Orson Krennic and says, โDonโt choke on your ambitions.โ
My son looked at my and said, โHa Ha! Dad joke!โ
So proud.
๐︎ 5
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︎ Jun 22 2020
8 years redditor today and never posted for my cake day.lets see if the ledgends are true
๐︎ 172
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︎ Oct 21 2019
(My 8-year old made this one up) What kind of pajamas do they wear on Hoth?
๐︎ 18
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︎ Oct 19 2019
My 8 year old cousins best joke yet: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
๐︎ 12
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︎ May 16 2019
My 8 year old came home from school and told me she had a test that day.
Me: Oh yeah, what was it on?
Her: Paper.
I was so proud.
๐︎ 405
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︎ Jan 16 2019
Courtesy of my 8 year old, "What did the cat say to the dog?"
๐︎ 11
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︎ May 29 2019
So my 6 year old daughter got got my 8 year old son with this one this morning...
Son: So, what do you want to be when you grow up...?
Daughter : well, I think I want to stay a person...
๐︎ 2k
๐
︎ Feb 25 2015
My 8 year old hit me with this one at breakfast - Where do dads love to go on vacation?
๐︎ 16
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︎ May 03 2019
A pun courtesy of my 8 year old
What do you call a crappy lawyer?
An a-turd-ney
This was originally posted in r/jokes, but someone thought it would be better here
๐︎ 5
๐
︎ Jan 20 2019
How to get an 8 year old to hate you...
So after my daughter got off the bus, she was telling me about her day. She said that, at lunch, she was pretending to be a goblin.
"Gobbling what?", I asked. "Hopefully your lunch."
She stared at me (trying hard not to smile), let out an exasperated sigh, and said "I hate your jokes". Then walked away to the house without as much as another word...
๐︎ 122
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︎ Feb 19 2018
Unknowingly Dad joked my mate's dad when I was 8. 14 years later he still brings it up.
I had just got my hair cut nice and short and been dropped around at my mate's house by mum.
As i walk in:
Mate's Dad: Hey bonya, who did ya hair cut?
Me: (slightly confused) My hair didn't cut anybody...
๐︎ 2k
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︎ Aug 15 2014
I was watching Mysteries at the Museum with my 8-year old daughter when they showed the quills used to write the Declaration of Independence, Constitution & Bill or Rights.
My daughter said, "that makes them the founding feathers, dad."
I've never been so proud.
๐︎ 40
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︎ Feb 12 2019
My brother has been behind bars for 8 years now
He says with bartending, he really found his dream job
๐︎ 15
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︎ Aug 03 2018
From my 8 year old son!
Him: Dad, what do you call numbers that can't sit still?
Me: I don't know, what?
Him: Roman numerals!!
(I'm so proud!!)
๐︎ 162
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︎ Feb 13 2018
My 3 year old asked her mum if her 8 month old brother was allowed to eat his toy drum.
She said it was fine. I said won't there be repercussions?
Got an eye roll followed by a laugh.
๐︎ 883
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︎ Dec 20 2015
My brother was a dad at 8 years old with this joke
While driving home from vacation when we were kids.
Me: Are we home yet?
Brother: Do you see the door?
๐︎ 4
๐
︎ Apr 16 2019
Actual exchange between my 8-year old daughter and I
8yo - Hey dad, knock knock
Me - who's there?
8yo - daddy boo
Me - daddy boo who?
8yo - awwww dad, don't cry, your life isn't that bad!
I just got dad-joked, hard!
๐︎ 68
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︎ Aug 23 2017
My 80 year old grandpa and 8 year old brother are starting a rap group.
I guess they're going to be called the 808s.
๐︎ 3
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︎ Apr 15 2018
My 8-year-old made up this gem today, heโll make a great dad some day!
Whoโs the smelliest billionaire in the world? Elon MUSK!!
๐︎ 6
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︎ Mar 15 2018
After 8 years, the herb thief was finally released from prison...
...he did his thyme after all.
๐︎ 12
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︎ Mar 28 2017
My 8 year old daughter just got me!
My son was singing one of the songs from the Lion King. I thought it sounded weird so I asked, "Are those real words?"
My daughter said, "Yep. They're all in the dictionary."
I couldn't be prouder!
๐︎ 25
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︎ Aug 14 2016
๐︎ 14
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︎ Mar 10 2015
Me sharing article: emoji snake takes 8 years to breed
Dad: Wow, that snake is so slow... It took me only a few hours to start breeding once I was married...
๐︎ 2
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︎ Feb 02 2018
8 year old son: "You know, dad, I think I have your sense of humor."
Me: "Really?"
Him: "Yes. Would you like it back?"
๐︎ 88
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︎ Sep 06 2016
My 8 year old just asked, "Dad, what is matter?"
To which I replied, "Nothing. Whattsa matter you?"
๐︎ 15
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︎ May 31 2016
My 8 year old son wrote this Adele dad joke in the car this morning
Him: What's Adele's favorite number?
Me: I don't know, 25?
Him: No, 0.7734
(he was playing with a calculator at the time)
๐︎ 13
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︎ Dec 16 2015
My 8 year old son came running into the living room wanting to tell us
That he knew what 64 divided by 3 was: 21.33333
As he's running back to his room he asks "Why are there so many 3's?"
Me as he's running away "Because it can't even!"
๐︎ 6
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︎ Dec 16 2016
I'm a father of 5 and an avid cyclist. My 8 year old son came to me with this one yesterday.
8yo: "Dad! I've got a joke I think you'll like. It's about bikes."
Me: "Yeah? What is it?"
8yo: "What kind of moustache does a bike grow?"
Me: "I don't know."
8yo: "A handlebar!"
I'm very proud.
๐︎ 11
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︎ Jun 10 2016
~8 year old was arguing with her dad...
...On the escalator. She got to the top, turned to her dad, and said, "Well that escalated quickly."
I couldn't help but burst out laughing. This girl is going places.
๐︎ 2
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︎ Mar 20 2017
I dadjoked my 8 year old step daughter yesterday.
With most 8 year olds, they forget to do normal things due to their attention span.
Yesterday was no exception.
After she took a shower I went into the bathroom and noticed she left her towel on the floor and also noticed, to my own disgust, that she forgot to flush the toilet which still had a fresh "brownie" inside.
I went over to her and this conversation went down.
Me: "Hey dear, can you go to the bathroom and pick up your towel and flush the toilet, please?"
Her: "Oh yea! Sorry, I totally forgot!"
Me: "You mean you TURD-ally forgot!"
๐︎ 14
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︎ Dec 04 2013
I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, "Take Your Kid to Work Day." As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her.
As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"
๐︎ 41
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︎ Mar 24 2020
I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, "Take Your Kid to Work Day." As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her.
As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"
๐︎ 78
๐
︎ Oct 15 2019
If you were 8 years old when โRed Red Wineโ was released
๐︎ 9
๐
︎ Aug 14 2019
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