What do you call a group of people under 18 years old going somewhere?

A minor detail.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Diagonal-E
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Russian explorers tried to sail into Alaska, but failed.

They couldnโ€™t get their Bering Strait.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Every year on July 4th a group of ants get together inside a pen and have a dancing party.

It's "In the Pen Dance Day"!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/defa90
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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I have unidirectional phobia, but after many years of therapy and support groups.

I finally took a step in the right direction.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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Say what you want about the group Anonymous, they've written some beautiful poetry over the years.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RyanRebalkin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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My 80 year old grandpa and 8 year old brother are starting a rap group.

I guess they're going to be called the 808s.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DNQuantum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I donโ€™t want to sound racist, but...

Every one in the KKK looks the same to me.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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Limited release Harry Potter title
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ddh85
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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This one from my 10 year old daughter:

I said to her after reading a reddit fact: do you know what a group of leemurs is called?

A conspiracy

My wife: do you know what a group of crows is called?

A murder.

10 year old from upstairs:

Do you know what a group of cars is called?

Traffic.

My wife fell out. I posted with full dad pride.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 274
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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A current Dad joke!

All children born within the next year or two will be part of the group known as โ€œCoronnialsโ€.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Thundapurr
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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A joke that takes a while to evolve

To celebrate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, the scientific community joined together for a party. As is common at such gatherings, the Biologists began to argue about what species was the most suited to its environment. Finally after much heated debate, a group of scientists pledged to spend the rest of the year exhaustively researching the Biological record to once and for all determine which creature was the ultimate example of adaptivity and proficiency ever to live.

Yesterday, the results were announced at the National Academy of Sciences. The creature identified as the most adaptive and proficient in Earth's history was a previously unknown animal from the Mesozoic era, a water dwelling insect that thrived for a hundred million years.

It was ... a FishAnt

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CapnFancyPants
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Friend of mine posted this on Facebook

Working with dad today : Dad : 'here's sone earplugs mate. You're only getting two .'

Me: 'thats fine I only have two ears '

Dad :' not everyone has two ears you know , some people have three '

Me : ' like who ? '

Dad :' well captain kirk had one left ear , one right ear , and a final frontier '

And my disappointed face leads him into hysterics haha .

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xecuter88
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07 2014
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A promise

For my highschool, Prom is this weekend. A group of friends asked the guy behind me in class wether or not he was going. He said no. He then said...

"I promise to go next year"

Then I turned around and said...

"Oh. You... PROM-ise to go next year?"

He said yeah then went back to work. 5 seconds later he slowly looked up at me with the "really?" Expression.

Worth it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2019
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Dad joked a table of people, laughs not received.

Sitting around the table with a group of people when my friend starts talking about his mom's work:

Friend - "My mom has been at children's hospital for about 26 years." Me - "oh my god, what happened to her?!"

Blank stares that I hoped were the precursor to laughter. They weren't.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aspellz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 18 2015
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Dirty biology dadjoke.

So while tutoring a Biology study group, (mind you, they are 18-20 year old guys and ladies I'm 24 and married) I was explaining a hard concept to the group, and a girl exclaimed: "Jesusdo, you're hard!" Because apparently I wasn't making too much sense...I responded with: "Thanks, but I prefer to receive that compliment from my wife though" That girl's face went redder than a tomato the same with everyone else's and much laughter was had. :)

Edit: autocorrect messed up my username.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jesusdo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
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So I'm a new dad, but I think I'm doing this dad joke thing right.

I'm a newly minted dad as of three months ago, but I've been practicing my dad jokes for years. In other words, I'm great at bad puns and face palming humor.

I gathered with a group of friends to see an old friend who we hadn't seen for a while. She was telling us about her new boyfriend. After saying that he was a cop, and also a culinary student I quickly quipped:

"So he really does Protect AND Serve."

Followed by a big new dad grin.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BeardedBatsard
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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There's no "I" in team.

I've heard my Pop tell this story so many times, I feel as though it's my duty to share it with this wonderful subreddit.

So, Pops is an air traffic controller. And a few years back, there was an initiative to boost workplace morale and get people to work together as a team.

Needless to say, the whole campaign was the butt of lots of jokes around the sector. Not that teamwork is a bad thing, of course. Just easy fodder for jokes, particularly in a group of middle-aged, dad-joke-loving men.

So one time, Pops is shooting the shit with another controller, and they're giving each other a hard time about one thing or another. And their supervisor walks up; real squirrelly guy who didn't cut it as an actually controller so they made him a supervisor (the FAA is silly that way). And he hears my Pops and the other guy razzing each other, and sticks his head in the sector and says, "Gentlemen, there's no 'I' in 'team'."

And Pops responds, "Yeah, but there's a 'U' in 'stupid'!"

Every time he tells that story, he just loses it. Cracks himself up. Even though I'm sure I've heard him tell it two dozen times.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bigafricanhat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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Meet the Jack of all dadjokes!

I was asked to help chauffeur a carload of youth around town for a Christmas caroling activity last night. One of the names on the list was Jack, who lost his wife earlier this year. Jack is in his early 90's, stands about 5'2, and is quite possibly the king of all dad jokes.

So, the group of about 25 kids and 5 adults sneak up to his doorstep and begin singing a few short Christmas carols. Eventually, he opens the door and is thrilled to have visitors.

After we are finished singing and the kids are all running back to the vehicles to get out of the 15 degree weather, jack steps out of his doorway and on to his porch. He is wearing a light t-shirt and pajama pants... he was setting us up, and we took the bait, hook, line, and sinker.

Woman: Are you freezing?

Jack: No, I'm not freezing, I'm Jack (pause for laughter)

Jack: but if you hang on for just a minute, I can get freezing for you.

and then he just stood there smiling at us. It was precious. Come to find out, Jack is entering a retirement home in a few days because he is getting to the point that it is hard to take care of himself anymore.

Oh boy, those nurses are in for a treat once Jack gets settled in.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Happyazz84
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
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A dad joke that happened at Bonnaroo this year.

A group of friends and I have gone to Bonnaroo (a music festival, for those who aren't aware) the past two years. this year, my friends dad decided to tag along with us, and he is one of those dads who is chill as hell and doesn't really care about the obvious drug use that occurs at festivals. while we were all hanging out at our campsite, a guy approached our campground and asked "hey, do any of you guys want some mushrooms?" my friend's dad, who was fully aware what shrooms are, was the first to respond, saying "nah, mushrooms are my least favorite pizza topping." the guy just kind of blankly stared for a second, then walked away as we all laughed/groaned.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tbagtrett
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2014
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 80
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Dad of 2 yr old and 3 month old. Said this the other day as casually as possible. What do you think?

At 4th of July party when I saw a buddy from high school there. He has a two year old of his own and lives like two houses down from me.

We were in group talking and as we were both about to leave I said:

"if you are ever in the neighborhood feel free to stop in"

Kind of lame but got a few chuckles!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CaptainMidwest
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Birthday Cake

A group of friends were talking about different flavors of ice cream when one asked,"Have you ever had birthday cake?"

Me: "Every year."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/neaustin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
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