Year 2 Puns

I asked my daughter if she was hungry and she said "No, I'm Charlotte".

I'm so proud of her, but also I had been waiting to do the whole hi hungry, I'm dad bit to her when I thought she was old enough to get it. Now I feel like I've missed that window

Both can fly if you throw them hard enough

I haven’t heard from him since.

My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!

Because she’s all dressed.

Son: Daddy, where is Thomas? Daddy: I don’t know, mate. Son: He must be working from home today.

Is this his first dad joke?? Strange what they must be picking up from conversations. Got me good.

Barbiecued.

While traveling to a cookout at my dads house, my wife (W) was working through the alphabet with my son (s)

Letter “I”: W: “ I is for..... iguana” S: “iguana.... iguana go outside.” W: looks at me. I look at him. S: (in his best dad style, cheesy laugh) “ha, ha.”

He had no idea what he said. But gosh we got a kick out of it.

Now she’s in the ICU

Those are the years you’re in your prime

It was the right triangle.

Her face went red and her cheeks swelled up making her look just like a tomato.

After the nurse and my wife finished talking about her reaction, I just couldn’t help but blurt our “well, you are what you eat”

My wife eye rolled, the nurse just looked at me with a deadpan face and said “well done” and walked off.

2yr old: daddy come in the house Me:I can’t honey, the house is small, I’m too big 2yr old:oh, hi I’m too big

I’ve got a date with Destiny! Reaching out to take Destiny into my own hands ! And a few other sub-par ones not worth mentioning.

Usually I don't condone infant gratification but I'll let it slide this time...

An askhole.

I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.

I helped him tweak the setup a little, and then I had him tell his momma. I laughed even harder when she sat in stunned silence for a few seconds and then busted out laughing with her hands over her mouth.

We explained to him that while the joke was not wholly appropriate for his age, it most certainly was funny.

So I handed her a knife and an onion.

It was the leased of my worries.

She responded: ”I no chiwwy, I Madison.”

I almost died choking on pancake. I don’t think I’ve fully recovered.

I said "yeah, engines are quite deaf"

I Scream - aaaarrrhhhhh...

Even better when actually a true story!

A bunch of in-laws were showing up today and I was working on last minute cleaning when various annoyances happened.

Wife: "How are you doing?"

"I'm grumpy."

Son: "Hi grumpy!"

I have 2020 vision

He would be the reigning Raining champ

But in a few years we will have the same age. When I am 30 years old she will be 30 too.

My 5 month old has a little bit of a cough. The conversation went something like this:.
5 month old: {coughs}.
My wife: Goodness, where is that little cough coming from?
2.5 year old: Baby's mouth!
Me: {laughs hysterically}

Me: "oh that was me, i was gonna eat it"

Her: "Well how'd that turn out?"

Me: "Not bad, had a little kick to it. "

It was a colorful tune.

I thought it was a bit harsh to hold a 6 year old back for 3 years.

I asked, "Is that good?"

##"No, it's sausage."

I'm so proud right now.

A classic!

*son falls on butt "Owww!" "Your ok buddy let me see... *looks at son's butt OH NO, THERE'S A CRACK IN IT!"

Now he's worried his butt is broken.

I don’t know. I don’t have 2020 vision.

What did Popeye say to his girlfriend before he left to Battle??

Don't worry, Olive.

GET IT

GET IT!?!?!?

I haven’t heard from him since.

Haven't heard from him since then.

An askhole.

I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.

I helped him tweak the setup a little, and then I had him tell his momma. I laughed even harder when she sat in stunned silence for a few seconds and then busted out laughing with her hands over her mouth.

We explained to him that while the joke was not wholly appropriate for his age, it most certainly was funny.

I haven’t heard from him since.