X Raying Puns

I was like, “aren’t they all?”

No, but cats can

I wonder what she saw in him.

Body Negative

She saw right through me

but she saw right through me.

Tooth pics

The doctor told me: "Your patella measures 2.54 cm." By surprise, I said: "Inch high knees?" The doctor replied: "你的髕骨尺寸為2.54厘米"

they can see right through you

When an eel bites your hand, and that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When paternity tests, lead to ratings success, that’s a Maury.

When our habits are strange, and our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

But Canadians protest, underrepresented in jest, what’s one more, eh?

——————————-

(Repost of mine from over a year ago. Sorry. I remembered it while stoned and it was funny again. Credit to u/weizguy74 for the Maury line.)

It was a fibula.

But catscan

Eyes wide, he whispered, "Skeletons!"

I still don’t know what she sees in me.

But she could see right through me.

but catscan

but my cats-can.

I wonder what she saw in me to this day...

I told her to break a leg.

^(I just had to share this. For what it was worth, I made her smile, like an upset "I don't want to laugh at this moment, but I can't help it" kind of smile, and that's what counts. Luckily there were no fractured bones.)

“Hmm, that’s intra-sting”

Tooth pics!

Stollen from a friend. Quick search on this sub yeilded no results. Hopefully it makes some of you chuckle!

Now he’s an ex-Ray.

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"

Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtedly the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that. What about you autumn, what do you have to offer?"

Autumn leaves

The results were negative

He told me I broke my humerus bone.

The I. C. U.

But a cat scan.

I told her that's not funny.

The wife asked "Who, Ray?"

The husband said "No need to be so happy"

...Tooth pics

Tooth pics.

The doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'. I said: 'Inch-high knees?' He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高.'

I wonder what she saw in him

Doctor: This is exactly what I was afraid of.

Patient: What is it, doctor?

Doctor: Skeletons.

Tooth pics

But catscan.

But catscan.

Tooth pics

They see right through you

Tooth pics.

However, he could see right through me.

..they can see right through you.

My mom was a radiologist, and she met my dad when he came in for an x‑ray. I wonder what she saw in him.