I making a game full of terrible, wonderful, puns. What do you guys think?
Bill Bryson's dad vs the San Andreas Fault
I went and saw author Bill Bryson speak last night and he told us how his dad used to make the most wonderful puns. I'll paraphrase best I can:
They had traveled from Iowa to California on vacation, and they were driving along the coast. They stopped at an informational plaque at the San Andreas Fault, and his dad walked straight up to the huge crack in the ground and threw a quarter in. When the kids asked why he did that, he simply responded "I've always wanted to be generous to a fault."
I was floating around in space wondering why the moon was getting bigger and bigger.
I wonder if she nose it or not...
Wonder where he got that vaccum
I wonder how Bill Gates gets Windows. Does he get it free? Or does Microsoft Bill Gates?
Ever wondered what to say to your sister when she’s crying ?
“Are you having a crisis ?”
I was wondering why Music was coming from my printer..
Apparently the paper was Jamming.
A wonderful bird, the pelican.
His beak can hold more than his bellycan.
I Wonder
Who lies in the grave of the man who invented the ol' switcherooo...
Incase you were wondering what Willie Nelson's full name REALLY is,
It's "Willie Nilly Nelson"
This guy always makes vegetable puns, i wonder what's tomato with him
What a wonderful audience
Ever wonder how a Jehovah's witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior?
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Wonder no more !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."
I was always wondering why hammers fall down.
I wonder why the corona cases are so low in Deutschland
I mean, its called Germ-many
I was wondering if this group could help me come up with puns for my husbands promotion watch. It’s an omega speedmaster. He loves puns and I am truest bad at them.
If you move to a Polynesian country and wonder if the natives will accept you, just know there will be
Some people were wondering why I like American cheese so much
I kept wondering why the ball was floating in front of me
Ever wonder why there are a bunch of stories about vampires in Europe but not Africa?
It's because they bless the rains down in Africa.
I wonder if talking about Freud gave him a bigger ego?
If Wonder Woman walks around aimlessly, she is
Wilford Brimley died recently. And it left me wondering...
...did he die a man? Or did he die a beetus?
I was up all night wondering where the sun went
Ever since the pandemic started, I’ve been wondering why my food delivery drivers have all been wearing glasses.
I had forgotten that contactless delivery was required.
She: Babes I'm pregnant!! I wonder what our son is gonna look like.
Me: nah, he's gonna wonder what I look like.
I wonder who took a picture of that hose on the phone
Have you guys ever wondered how a nose tastes?
There are many wonderful moments and beautiful sights when raising a child.
But the sight of your daughter stealing the last piece of chicken is truly breast taking.
I threw my boomerang and it kept on going and I wondered why it wasn’t returning
I wonder if he ate the wrapper too
I always wondered about the fight between Dio and Jotaro. Even though Dio had trained for months before facing him, Jotaro still destroyed him in the end
Ig he really didn't stand a chance
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
Every wonder why British people pronounce it as “Bri ish”?
It’s because the Tea was thrown into the Boston Harbour
Disclaimer: Not my joke
It was a long time ago, a different time, when Bach wrote his music. I wonder what life was like Bach then 🎹
I wonder how many people did not notice that "pun intended" is itself a pun
I was wondering, why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?
I wonder if he had any egrets?
My wife said, “I wonder what our neighbor is making. He always has his jigsaw out.” I said, “I don’t know. It’s a real...
If you ever wonder, "what's my net worth?"
I'd guess that it's less than you paid for it.
Dad jokes are wonderful and here's why:
My girlfriend cheated on me with Stevie Wonder.
I was wondering why this frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger.
I wonder what the odds are...
of me turning up at Gamblers Anonymous tomorrow night.
In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.
Preferred pronouns are Her/she
Just wondering, if you push the buttons on a calculator really fast ...
... does it become a calcu-earlier?
Did you ever wonder about all of those screwdrivers?
Did they really all belong to Phillip?
I hung there, wondering if someone would cut me down at the last second.
The suspense was killing me.
When a chicken's egg is being layed, I wonder...
Does it have a bird's thigh view?
I looked outside my bedroom window and wondered why it was so dark outside
Why can’t Stevie Wonder see his friends?
Ever wondered why there are so many people named Tony in New York?
It’s because on their luggage it said To N.Y
I was wondering where I left my passport
I wonder how much White-Out...
They use at the Department of Corrections?
I wonder if accessory garden buildings really make you happy...
Or if its only due to the gazebo-effect
My dad is obsessed with Wonder Woman, Catwoman and the Black Widow.
I think he's a heroine addict.
I wonder what calibre does North Korea use
To administer coronavirus shots
A man's three daughters are wondering how they got their names...
"Daddy, why is my name Violet?" the first girl asks.
"Because a violet fell on your head when you were born, dear," her father answers.
"Daddy, why is my name Rose?" the second girl asks.
"Because a rose fell on your head when you were born, dear," her father answers.
"My favorite color is potato," the third girl says.
"Shut up, Brick!"
They say one in four people are homosexual, which is weird because I have three best friends, all guys. Makes me wonder which one of us would be gay.
I hope It's Paul. He's cute.
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger...
Don't worry. I ducked just in time.
I wonder how much it remembers
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
I left my wife because she was obsessed with counting
I wonder what she's up to now
Danke and arrigato to those who were wondering
CJ's teacher wondered why he didn't perform very well in the PEs test.
After all, all he had to do was to follow the damn train!
I wonder what my new cat will look like?
Tabby... or not tabby... that is the question.
No wonder Finland won so many Formula 1 races...
They owned the Finnish line.
Tree: Hey, Boulder, what do you think I should be when I grow up? Boulder: You would make a wonderful bedroom furniture set.
Tree: Yes. Yes I wood. Thanks Boulder, you rock.
Wondering if there's something going on?
Ask a shoemaker; If anyone knows whats afoot, it's him
I spent all night wondering where the sun went...
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went after it set.
I was wondering why that frisbee was getting bigger
I was up all night, wondering where the sun went
I wondered why the truck was getting bigger
I was wondering why the car was getting bigger
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
I was wondering why there was music coming from printer....
Then I realised the paper was jammin
. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone.
And then it dawned on me.
I once stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.
What do you get when you mix an insomniac, agnostic, and someone with dyslexia?
Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there's a dog
A dude was wondering why a rock was getting bigger
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