I making a game full of terrible, wonderful, puns. What do you guys think?
Bill Bryson's dad vs the San Andreas Fault
I went and saw author Bill Bryson speak last night and he told us how his dad used to make the most wonderful puns. I'll paraphrase best I can:
They had traveled from Iowa to California on vacation, and they were driving along the coast. They stopped at an informational plaque at the San Andreas Fault, and his dad walked straight up to the huge crack in the ground and threw a quarter in. When the kids asked why he did that, he simply responded "I've always wanted to be generous to a fault."
I wonder what he soupervises
I was up super early this morning and I started wondering what time the sun would rise
Just wondering, do you think it's ok for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school ?
Or am I just a bad Teacher..?
Ever wonder why you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Well, of course you don't. They're really good at it.
Are you wondering if you should get a pet rodent?
Have you ever wondered why, when birds are migrating, one side of the "flying V" is longer than the other?
It's because there are more birds on that side.
I wonder what it would be like to live as as elf and make toys at the North Pole
I bet it is way cooler than you think
I wonder how many people have actually used this-
What do you get if a dinosaur kicks you in the backside? Megasoreass.
I wondered why I was banned from dating sites for paying with Monopoly money.
I guess apparently that's not legal Tinder.
I’d wonder what that would feel like
Ever wonder if the last little piggy was just an agreeable Frenchman?
I mean he went oui, oui, oui all the way home.
Ever wonder how you tell a male turkey from a female turkey?
Usually by how they're dressed
I was wondering why music was coming from my printer...
apparently the paper was jamming.
Do you ever wonder why nuts are good for your brain?
I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..
..or does it just take time to develop ?
I wonder if lying by the bay whilst an earthquake counts for a...
I was up all last night wondering where the sun went
When suddenly it dawned on me.
Wonder what their combinations are...
You ever wonder what happens when dirt gets in trouble
Physicists everywhere are wondering what would happen if we switched the first two letters of nuclear.
The short answer is, it’s unclear.
I wonder if he's purebred.
I was in my bed staring up at the stars and wondering...
Where the fuck did my roof go?
I saw a half lion, half eagle in the dining room at Hogwarts. Everyone was wondering how it had got in but it was obvious.
It came through the Griffindor.
I kept wondering what that bright shining sphere was just at the tip of the horizon
Sharing my son's wonderful moment!
At Avengers campus in Disneyland watching spiderman fly through the air.
My son: that's acrobatic
Me:. More parkour
My son: don't you mean more par-ker
I’ve always wondered what Moses’s parents did for a living.
Whatever it was, they made a prophet.
I was throwing a U shaped stick around and I was wondering why it wasn't going very far.
Ever wonder why spies always wear formal suits or many layers?
It's because they can never be too revealing
Do you ever wonder of calendar's get anxious?
I mean, they have alot of dates.
I wonder if blind people exist in United States.
Because their anthem starts with "Oh say can you see".
I jokingly asked my gf "I wonder what kids taste like?" Without hesitating she responds with "Probably like coal..
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger
I wonder if they have a glass port hole on the Mars rover, to both see out of and so Martians could see into the rover...
Or did NASA miss this window of Opportunity?
Have you ever wondered why nurses are so kind?
They have a lot of patience.
Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder’s House?
No? That’s okay, neither has he
it’s a wonder how stadiums get so hot
when they’re filled with fans
My son wants to do something with plants so I wonder...
whats growing on with him?
What happens when Stevie Wonder tries to shave himself?
Stevie Wonder is coming out with a new line of bras
They claim to take your breasts to Higher Ground
I have a friend who is obsessed with Wonder Woman, Princess Leia, and Hermione Granger memorabilia.
I think he's a heroine addict.
I wondered why there was music coming from my printer...
Apparently the paper was jamming.
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