I gave my dog a cantaloupe but all she does is look at it wistfully.

I think I have a melon collie.

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👤︎ u/boris_keys
📅︎ Mar 04 2017
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I'm not a Dad, but I have potential, just give me time.

Went out grocery shopping and grabbed some thyme as I was planning to cook this soup I make that uses quite a bit of it. My girlfriend is helping me unload the groceries and notices the thyme, saying, "You know we still have a shaker of thyme right?"

I respond with a forlorn sigh and a wistful look into the distance, "Thyme sure flashes by..."

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👤︎ u/bthoman2
📅︎ Jul 16 2014
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