I fell at work and cracked my tailbone. Now I canβt sit down and I have to listen to everyoneβs wise cracks..
All in all itβs been a real pain in the ass!
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︎ Mar 10 2021
What do you call a reptile who makes financially wise decisions?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Wise man once said?
Crowded elevator smells different to midget.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Did you hear about the wise butcher?
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Wise men followed a Star-Bucks...
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︎ Dec 20 2020
A wise man once gave me the 3 unwritten rules of life
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Why are some old toilets so wise?
.
Because they've seen MANY moons!
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Keep telling jokes from this forum. My daughter's getting wise to it. She just said...
"I bet you just Reddit!" She's very pleased with herself.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
a wise man once said "thick thighs saves lives"
https://preview.redd.it/m5ilmigjv4v51.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce48ec5cbcddbacbbaf121aed97c0585e6467cda
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︎ Oct 25 2020
How did the grape get to be so wise?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
A wise monster once said, "C is for Cookie."
That's good enough for me.
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︎ Sep 30 2020
A wise man once told me...
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︎ Sep 11 2020
They better stay peaceful cause other wise they might get chased.
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︎ Jun 03 2020
A wise man once said
With great power comes great electricity bills
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︎ Jan 06 2020
I donβt think itβs wise to βeat the rich.β
Theyβre all spoiled rotten.
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︎ May 14 2020
My wise uncle willed his frontal and occipital lobes to his son...
He had good presents of mind.
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︎ Jun 12 2020
What do you name a show about a wise guy named Noah?
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︎ Mar 06 2020
Wise words
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︎ Jul 16 2019
I hired a wise owl to watch my kids while I was away...
Turns out they had a bit of a hootinanny.
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︎ May 24 2020
Some people are wise.
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︎ Jan 16 2020
There was a nun who was very wise, but her sister didnβt know.
Her sister was Nun the Wiser.
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︎ Dec 29 2019
A wise man once said βitβs better to say nothing at allβ
An even wiser man didnβt say that
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︎ Sep 24 2019
A wise medical doctor once wrote....
From the Offices of Dr.Wiseman
⬳⬳⬳,⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳.⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳,⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳...⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳.
⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳⬳!
⬳⬳⬳⬳
Dr Wiseman
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︎ Feb 07 2020
Wouldn't 'Counter Clock Wise' just be
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︎ Feb 11 2020
What road did the Three Wise Men take to visit baby Jesus?
The highway to the manger zone.
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︎ Dec 27 2019
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
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︎ May 09 2019
Why did God make only so many wise people?
Because he couldn't have done otherwise
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︎ Nov 13 2019
If you want to be wise with your money, don't buy any belts
Because it will just go to waist.
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︎ Oct 28 2018
The three Wise Men originally showed up at the wrong manger and found a different baby.
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︎ Dec 31 2019
I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I'm no longer wise but I'm very hole-y.
Because I'm full of holes and everything hurts.
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︎ Jul 02 2019
A wise man once told me "Kid there are two rules of business and life. One is never tell anyone everything you know..."
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︎ Feb 08 2019
She's penny wise
Lou Costello: Thereβs only one problem with our romance; Sheβs penny wise.
Bud Abbott: Marilynβs penny wise?
Lou Costello: Yeah, I ainβt got a penny and sheβs wise to it!
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︎ Nov 10 2019
If you are wise with dollars you'd be rich, what would you be if you were wise with pennies?
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Those who have knowledge are wise.
Those without knowledge are otherwise.
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︎ Aug 08 2019
A word to the wise is useless
A word to the stupid might actually change something.
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︎ Nov 10 2018
Standing up during your flight and shouting, "I'VE GOT C4!!!" is not wise.
While you may think your the bomb, it's really just plane stupid.
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︎ Dec 08 2018
Wise man say "Man who wants pretty nurse...
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︎ Mar 02 2013
Flight attendant was a wise guy
"Sorry about the rough landing, it wasn't the captain's fault, it certainly wasn't my fault, it was the asphalt"
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︎ Dec 11 2015
What did the sarcastic comedian say to the wise cracking toilet paper?
You're on a roll, aren't ya?!
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︎ Dec 12 2017
Oh, Magic Mirror, how are you so wise?
"I've had time to reflect."
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︎ Sep 08 2017
Let me tell you a story about making wise choices...
In high school my very best friend and I snuck out and went looking for fun. We were really fired up and he hurried ahead and ran straight into the nearest bar. Luckily, I had the good sense to duck.
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︎ Aug 20 2016
The three wise men brought baby Jesus gold and frankincense.
But wait... there's myrrh!
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︎ Dec 26 2016
Heard this from a wise old man at the barbershop...
Was getting my haircut, and the older gentleman in the chair next to me was complaining about service nowadays, saying it wasn't like it used to be.
He said, "My wife and I went out to eat last week, and at one point I needed to use the restroom. So I went in there, used the facilities, and as I was wrapping up, I saw a sign that said 'Employees must wash hands!'"
"I waited for damn near 15 minutes, and no one even showed up, so I grabbed my wife and got the hell out of there!"
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︎ Oct 14 2015
How did the wise king of the cats bring peace to his warring kingdom?
He said: "Me-oww. You-oww. We-oww... NoMoOwe"
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︎ Aug 27 2017
A wise Chinese man once said...
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︎ May 21 2019
A wise mute man once said..
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︎ Mar 16 2019
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